I WROTE A LINE OF CODE TODAY!
Best posts made by Weng
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RE: :fa_calendar: :fa_plus: :fa_plus: What's Fucking Up Today: 2016
Not a damned thing. Which astonishes me.
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RE: The Grand Canyon is a hot spot for tourists!
@Weng said in The Grand Canyon is a hot spot for tourists!:
@mott555 said in The Grand Canyon is a hot spot for tourists!:
@Lorne-Kates said in The Grand Canyon is a hot spot for tourists!:
Noticeably radioactive, not dangerously radioactive.
Well the article mentions this:
Stephenson said the containers were stored next to a taxidermy exhibit, where children on tours sometimes stopped for presentations, sitting next to uranium for 30 minutes or more. By his calculation, those children could have received radiation dosages in excess of federal safety standards within three seconds, and adults could have suffered dangerous exposure in less than a half-minute.
The Nuclear Regulatory Commission measures radiation contamination in millisieverts per hour or per year. According to Stephenson, close exposures to the uranium buckets could have exposed adults to 400 times the health limit — and children to 4,000 times what is considered safe.
Which seems impossible. I wonder if someone somewhere used the stats for the wrong radioactive element when writing this article.
I kicked the article over to my buddy who works in nuclear diplomacy (his background is in nuclear safety). Soon as he's off work he'll read it and give me the "this is a stupid overreaction" or "what the fuck" distillation.
"From a hazard standpoint this is a stupid overreaction and all the figures in the article are just wrong. I anticipate I'll be wearing my safety hat and dealing with it within the next 24 hours. I also wouldn't be surprised if we're cleaning up that damned mine now because someone threw rocks into it and contaminated it"
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RE: WHY DOES IT MAKE SOUNDS!?
@ben_lubar So it's an actual bug, not a complaint. I categorized properly!
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RE: 15 years of NCIX customer data available for sale
@Lorne-Kates said in 15 years of NCIX customer data available for sale:
@El_Heffe said in 15 years of NCIX customer data available for sale:
And your point is . . . . . .?
That it is less likely for a company to forget to format hundreds of hard drives, when one of the things they do is resell business computers (and have to reformat hard drives).
Even if just to keep the BSA off their asses.
I can see one or two being overlooked. But dozens (hundreds?)-- like I said, it's either unlikely, or a huge screw up. I'd accept either.
Some friends and I bought a literal truckload of gear at auction when the for profit college ITT Tech went under. While we were there to pick it up I talked to the liquidation manager - they do not wipe anything. Data purge is the responsibility of the winddown employees, who are still employees of the defunct entity (though they're the first creditors paid by the liquidator). These people are typically upset, getting paid little and with much delay, busy looking for new jobs, and in the case of IT staff, the last ones out the door.
They have no incentive not to suck. Some services need to work until the bitter end. What the fuck do you do with things you legally need to retain but can't because you need to wipe the machine without replacement? Nobody writes an SOP for shutting down and destroying everything. Nobody practices implementing it. Some stuff doesn't get done.
The network gear we got had intact configs. Servers were wiped. Desktops laptops and tablets fired right up unmolested aside from the fact that the MDM and AD didn't exist anymore. We got some juicy stuff, but ultimately we're good people and wiped them on our end (except the CNC controller PC because unobtanium drivers. I still have a bunch of kids CAD homework)
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RE: I have a portable router. I want a VPN. How the fuck do I deal with wifi login pages?
@izzion Yes.
Also note that most hotel networks are fucking broken most of the time anyway.
That said - screw the router. It's overly complicated and not likely to work easily. You're on vacation and ain't got time for that shit. Just VPN from the computer.
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RE: For next time someone asks "what's the deal with MongoDB?"
Am I damaged or does this article read "This nonrelational database sucks at doing relational queries. They should fix it so it can do relational queries."
Except the relations can be fuzzy, and only resolved at runtime using rules specified in the query!
I mean, I've been saying all along that pretending your data doesn't have relations when your problem set is basically "I want to know what the relationships are" is an awfully stupid way of going about things.
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RE: Where's the outrage?
Why do I even work in this godforsaken shitshow of an industry?
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RE: The Official Status Thread
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I AM BEING CALLED BECAUSE SOME FUCKING THING DIDN'T FUCKING WORK BECAUSE THERE'S A FUCKING POWER OUTAGE IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE? SORRY GUYS IT JUST DOESN'T FUCKING WORK WITHOUT FUCKING ELECTRICITY
fuck YOU DISCHORSE I'M GOING GO ALLCAPS AND YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING LIKE IT.
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RE: The Formal Code Review
At any point during the formal code review, is code actually reviewed?
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RE: Eclipse '17, US edition
We had proper gear.
We had perfect weather.
We have limited bandwidth so here's a sample.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: Apparently our Web app is caching the results of WCF service calls. That it's making over TCP, rather than HTTP, so there cannot be any unseen middle caching proxy. Service calls with volatile results. Service calls that make database updates. Basically everything. This causes DEEPLY strange behavior. We have not intentionally enabled any caching.
I took a dump of its memory to verify this theory. Upon opening the folder containing the dumpfile, every single user app running on my machine crashed with various unhandled and "unknown" exceptions. The graphics driver reset. Explorer crashed. The clock skewed several hours.
I am now actually afraid of what will happen when I load this dump.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@blakeyrat said in The Official Status Thread:
@weng said in The Official Status Thread:
Road legal (i.e. not a racecar)
Not without a muffler.
SUCKER!
There's always Budget Rent-A-Car.
Exhaust shop in the ghetto is cheaper.
They also did what appears to be a fine quality custom job in literally 1 hour with $80 in shelf parts whereas the chain joints wanted at least 2 days notice so they could order a preassembled kit.
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RE: Xauth utility
On the other hand, I exit my office every day when I'm done working and I quit when I'm fed up with their idiotic bullshit and am not going to finish whatever they had me doing.
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RE: ** Deletion of Posts **
@yamikuronue said in ** Deletion of Posts **:
@wharrgarbl You can have all your posts deleted right now, past and future. Just say the word.
Can I say the word for him?
Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase?
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RE: Re: RE: Re: re: Re: Hire me!
@The_Quiet_One said in Re: RE: Re: re: Re: Hire me!:
Kelly M.
WTF CorpNote to self: Violent opposition to candidates sourced from the HR catalog is called for. WtfCorp actually has a Kelly M in HR.
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RE: Internet of shit
@polygeekery said in Internet of shit:
I sincerely hope that they get ahold of some of my friend's transcripts, so they wonder why that person adds 55 gallon drums of sex lube to their shopping cart.
I know a research psychologist that recently got hired into the Alexa team to do exactly that. The "developers" they're talking about having access to that data are all variously published scientists from disciplines with strong ethical frameworks, not neckbearded Linux enthusiasts.
Naturally, we all try to send her messages via any Alexa we encounter.
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RE: Yet another weird question
Yeaaaah you're not doing that unless you write a print driver that does it.
Source: Work in print industry, know WAY too much about what you're talking about.
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RE: PSA: Lunix haz teh bugz
It also recommends recompiling all userland code with the –fstack-check option which would prevent the stack pointer from moving into other memory regions. Qualys concedes, however, this is an expensive solution, but one that cannot be defeated unless there is an unknown vulnerability in the –fstack-check option.
Oh fuck right off. It's fucking 2017, CPU is literally our least constrained resource. There is no reason for any normal software to be compiled without every fucking safety check in the goddamned book turned on. It's not expensive - it's fucking minimum due diligence.
Fucking C people.
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RE: Holidays? PFFFFT!
Apparently the very angry email I sent about manufacturing abusing our staff made it to the VP level and manufacturing was subsequently told to eat a big bag of elephant dicks.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
TIL USPS has a tracking status for "Seized by law enforcement"
... I'm reading their documentation, not tracking a package, fortunately.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@loopback0 An evolving displeasure with the damaging-to-human-civilization Lord of the flies playground.
That cesspit has gotten well beyond "the place you can have a difference of opinion" and is uncomfortably close to "extremist training ground".
Let's step back for a second. What the hell is this place?
It's the forum for TheDailyWtf.com
What's that?
It's a website for software people to make fun of the dumb shit we come across professionally.
Why would software people do that? Stress relief, and to better ourselves and our profession.
To further that mission, there's this little clubhouse bolted on the side. As with almost every internet community, it grew beyond it's original narrow remit and developed a cast of characters. Those characters are people with wide and varying interests. May as well bolt on some spaces to explore those.
That's what the Garage is.
Problem is that this particular add-on has grown to be incredibly toxic. This place has never been particularly cosy, but at worst it's been users vs. bad engineering. Thats literally what it's for. But with the evolution of the garage, now it's users vs. users.
More good, reasonable, members of this community who actually care about better software have been driven away by this shit than I can count offhand. "Hawhaw good riddance they were just fragile snowflakes" you say? Fuck you, assbag, you're the problem.
Soft touch is over. If garage content or garbage attitudes spill out of the garage, I'm going to shovel it right back in. If you're going to be hateful shits to each other, you can go do it in the corner reserved for it. I don't care what your politics are. All aggressive political "debate" goes to the garage. Rational good faith discussion can be in the Salon or Lounge as situationally appropriate, but if you step across the line I'm going to move you.
And if anyone gets the bright idea to start flagging decent good faith discussions just because you don't like them, I will take a particularly dim view to those actions.
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RE: The Cooking Thread
@Yamikuronue said in The Cooking Thread:
@asdf My senpai :D We live together.
ERR_DUPLICATE_PRIMARY_KEY
@Lorne-Kates said in The Cooking Thread:
@Yamikuronue said in The Cooking Thread:
@asdf My senpai :D We live together.
So far that's two forum users in multi-person relationships, and STILL ironically one of them isn't POLYgeekery
Oh, I need to use the OTHER data structure. Let me tell you, it's tough keeping up this system. Shit was initially built with the old Catholic data model, and then patched into Methodist Protestantism and now we've got the 21st Century Practical Atheist package laid on top of that awful legacy cruft. Should just blow the whole thing out and start fresh with MongoDB and Javascript.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
So, I recently decided I wanted to switch to Comcast Business as my ISP because fuck bandwidth caps.
Turns out, SLA's are also fucking rad, too.
I've had a longstanding packet loss/speed issue that Comcast basically fobbed off as "sucks for you being the last house at the end of the line!"
Install occurs, guy's like "Run a speedtest.net and let's just make sure everything works"
5 down, 20 up. That's... An achievement.
A few minutes of diagnostic and "Alright, there's a line issue between your pole and the node, and there's actually a mainline signal degradation fault registered on the node and there isn't a ticket yet. How in the hell is that allowed to be a thing? Let me register a ticket and that'll be fixed by Monday. If it doesn't resolve this weekend, call in and we'll get a linesman back out to check the 1.5km of cable between here and there."
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RE: The Official Status Thread
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
I thought I'd escaped attending the nightmare wedding of the year by virtue of having written an essay informing the groom that he was making a giant fucking mistake. On an email thread with the bride and virtually every single one of both of their friends. Two days before Christmas.
Everyone else got Save the Dates. I didn't. And then everyone else got an invite. I didn't. And then RSVP's closed.
And I just got a text message telling me that my invite had been returned by the post office (incorrect address, as it turns out).
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RE: Databases are Monogamous
You have to start with the shittiest database as the "first", and the better databases must all support a strict superset of its features (even if there have to be syntax conversions). MySQL first, convert everything to MSSQL.
In your situation, you'd do a one time rewrite of everything to MySQL, discard all the original MSSQL and then upconvert.
The downside is that this prevents you from using all the cool things the better databases support.
Plus, MSSQL Express exists. "Low cost installations of MSSQL apps" is literally why it exists.
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RE: Google Authenticator API - like dragons, for cans
@blakeyrat said in Google Authenticator API - like dragons, for cans:
@Weng said in Google Authenticator API - like dragons, for cans:
fully potted
I didn't pot mine, I put it on a keychain.
Was I supposed to bury it next to the tomato plant?
Fully potted as in "all the electronics are encased in a solid block of epoxy".
The IT security crowd and opensource folk like to interpret potted boards as an attempt at security by obscurity because it makes it really hard to take them apart and see how they work without destroying them.
But it's really a durability thing, because it utterly prevents components from moving relative to each other, and prevents contamination from water, dust, etc.
And the epoxy itself is super tough and therefore very protective.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@Rhywden Ha, this is:
Him: Socially inept, hyper religious nerd. 30. Less than zero experience with women (like, no frigging porn even!). He didn't live with his parents, but only because he'd been living for several years in a sort of post-collegiate frathouse another one of my friends had assembled. Except instead of frat boys, everybody who has ever lived there works in IT, sucks at women, and is an irredeemable alcoholic gun nut nerd.
Her: 25. 2 prior dumpster fire marriages before age 21. The first of which reportedly involved her dad and a shotgun making the persuasive argument about "you break it you bought it". 2 kids (one from each marriage). She's from Alabama. She was also pregnant for the second wedding, though dad was in prison.She was hit by a bus (literally) early in their dating and suffered actual brain damage (she's kinda fucking crazy now). Shortly thereafter, she touched his peepee and he decided he had to do the honorable thing. He took over her bills, helped her be a part-time parent, bought a fucking house and got engaged to her so she would win a custody fight (because she transitioned from being unemployed and living in a ghetto apartment above the effing court house (WHAT KIND OF SHITTY COURT HOUSE HAS APARTMENTS UPSTAIRS?) with a boyfriend who lives in a commune with guns literally laying on every horizontal surface to suddenly being engaged to an upstanding guy of substantial financial means with a permanent home in a nice part of town with nice schools.
You know that thing people do when they're house shopping where they ask friends for opinions? He asked his friends how much money he should offer on this place (the answer was "nothing because that price is absolutely fucking insane for that property") AFTER he had already put in an offer for MORE THAN asking price. Because time was of the essence and he wanted an accepted offer before the custody hearing.
My bet for "she'll be pregnant before the wedding" is quickly running out. I think he got wind of our betting pool and has cut off the premarital sex train.
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RE: I converted NodeBB to use a PostgreSQL database. AMA.
Incidentally, I expect the "path forward" to a real DBMS is to take this setup and, over time, build individual table schemas per object and have your stupid "collection" table be exposed as a view that unions JSON composed on the fly from the individual table schemas and from an underlying collection table for object types you haven't converted yet.
Once every object class has a table, then you hit the Node code and rewire everything to hit the base tables until, one day, you can strange the collection view.
Handling inserts to the collection view is a matter left to the reader.
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Temporary paths
C:\Windows\system32
Not a good temporary path. Fortunately, the app isn't one of the ones that cleans out it's temporary folder when it starts.
I swear to god the person who installed and configured this shit was DANGEROUSLY stupid if not an active saboteur.
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RE: Sales Pitch-Driven Development
No email? tough luck, never happened
CYA-driven development. We practice this in spades at WTFcorp. If it's not in my inbox, it doesn't exist. If you elaborate on some vague-assed requirement, it's not getting done until you revise the original requirements document, I print it, highlight the revision and drop it in my file cabinet. Before ANYTHING goes to production, you are getting test output and you are going to send me an email that says "Approved".
We recently had a $40,000 materials spoilage incident caused by what could be construed as software error by a complete idiot who had no idea what they'd actually spec'd. We promptly produced 2 ENTIRE FILE CABINETS of self-contradicting, ever-changing requirements and most damningly the email including enough test output to choke a horse (at a minimum 100 man-hours to review in any depth other than 'physically exists') with a reply 22 minutes later saying "Reviewed and approved, deploy to production".
Of course, on this particular incident, the VP over the team responsible for producing the documentation and reviewing the output and took the material loss has dodged all attempts to discuss the actual problem (Which for the record is "We gave you exactly what you asked for. And then you lied.") and has had the balls to say "I don't think the actual cause is relevant to who's going to pay for it".
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RE: This is how it feels to learn Javascript in 2016
Yeah. I have decided I don't do web anymore. Closest I'll go is C# WebAPI. Fact is I can build an entire ecosystem of cross platform native apps with less fucking complexity than Hello World in modern JS.
I have people for the in browser shit.
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RE: 🔥🔥 MLP Resume Boning :giggity:
I neglected to toss a polo on over my T-shirt today (I also walked out without my lunch). So I'm stuck wearing a zippered coat against the 0% chance that a customer will accidentally wander away from their tour, up a stairwell, follow somebody through a security door into this secure area and be offended by a programmer wearing a Ferrari T-shirt.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
You know how those vehicle history reports are usually really boring? I just found one that's utterly fascinating.
5/23/2013 Missoula, Montana. Car is titled to the manufacturer as a fleet vehicle.
5/31/2013 Great Falls, MT. Severe accident reported. Yes, within a week, while owned by the manufacturer.
4/28/2014 Somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Car is auctioned off at 10438 miles.
6/9/2014 Somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Car is auctioned off at 10438 miles.
6/11/2014 Somewhere in the Pacific Northwest. Car is auctioned off at 10438 miles.
7/16/2014 South Dakota. Car is titled and registered as a rental vehicle.
4/15/2015 Denver Colorado. Car is titled to a new owner, with a lien. 43504 miles.
9/23/2016 Car is recalled for a defective windshield wiper motor cover.
5/8/2017 Hailstorm in Denver totals the car.
4/27/2018 Denver CO. Auction time again! 75738 miles.
5/??/2018 Some dickhead named Weng bids on it for his dad.My line of thought here is that the early accident and manufacturer ownership made the car UTTERLY RADIOACTIVE to the auction set (shady used car dealers, mostly). It sold every one of those times, but was quickly relisted. I suspect it was some sight-unseen buying followed by "NOPE! I'M OUT!".
It then landed with the shadiest of the shady, a indie mechanic with a rental/loaner fleet. After racking up 33000 miles in EIGHT MONTHS, it gets shoved off on some unsuspecting sucker.
God then decided he hated this car and killed it.
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RE: Miniature Golf WTF
@anotherusername Who knows, I was drunk when I wrote those.
As for the point of bullshit, normally it's used for all those happy minigolf moments like actually pulling off the impossible trick hole, or a hole in 1 by way of rolling through a flower bed, or insisting on playing from an 'impossible' out of bounds location, or playing an impossible lie that requires you to hump a statue of a giraffe, or accidentally kicking someone else's ball into the hole (elsewhere in the rules this is noted to count as ball movement for them, but not as a stroke - a hole-in-zero is technically possible if the assclowning is hueg).
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RE: Poop Adobe Poop
Poop, Adobe, poop is about the order of events in my daily office routine. You guys that only use PDFs instead of being in an industry literally tooled around them have it great.
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Why is this an ad?
From Youtube. Apparently Google thinks I'm in the market for electronic warfare fighter jets?
This whole trend of faceless multinational purveyors of industrial and government hardware advertising at consumers is kind of annoying. To my memory, the first time I saw it happen GE was advertising Evolution locomotives on radio and TV. And then there are ads for airliner engines. And now fighter jets? WTF.
There is precisely ZERO advantage to advertising these things to the general public, because there isn't a single person involved in procurement of any of these goods and services that are going to give a single fuck about a TV commercial.
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RE: RGB LED EVERYTHING!!
The best part about RGB LEDs is that you can use them to go back to the good old days of red and amber (kinda) and pretend that fecking blue and white never existed
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RE: 💩 Shit I just heard in my office
Overheard yesterday
A: Do you know why it's called Table 71?
B: No?
A: Go into (App name) and type 71 into the screen selection. That takes you to Screen 71, where you configure Table 71.
B: Oh, really?Friggin AS400 terminal systems.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
I am fucking fed up with this fucking job. Since I walked out the fucking door on fucking Friday I have not had a fucking 4 hour period (yes, even in the fucking middle of the god fucking damned night) go by where some fucking idiot hasn't blown up the on-call phone for a fucking fake fucking emergency. Generally right as I get in the fucking car to go do something fucking important (none of which has gotten fucking done because I'm obligated to turn the fuck around and go home to tend to these fucking fake emergencies), or sit down for a fucking meal.
They are going to compensate me for this entire fucking weekend or I am fucking walking.
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RE: MongoDB? What's that, some kind of fruit? Give me a real database!
@Yamikuronue
Git: Pure opensource source control tool by Linus Torvalds, intended specifically to nail the specific needs of the Linux Kernel team but adopted and misused by hipsters everywhere
Github: Web app operated by a private company that repackages Git for profitz.
Github for Windows: Desktop app that interfaces with that web app, wrapping the Git client.
Powershell: Microsoft's premier shell/scripting language, intended specifically for the management and configuration of the Windows OS and applications resident on it. Actual end user runtime use isn't really a primary concern.
posh-git: Powershell module for interfacing with Git, by another party as yet unnamed.
Git Shell spawned by Github for Windows: posh-git wrapped by Github for Windows
Javascript: The shittiest programming language ever designed, intended for a single light duty - scripting inside a 1995-era web browser.
Node: General purpose Javascript runtime by Google
npm: Dependency management system for Javascript, distributed with Node, inexplicably tightly coupled to Github for raisins.I'm surprised any of it works, to be honest.
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RE: The Official "Graphic Designers Who Don't Understand Gears" Thread
@pcooper said in The Official "Graphic Designers Who Don't Understand Gears" Thread:
For those unfamiliar with the "FIRST Robotics Competition", it's a high-school competition pairing students with adult mentors from industry in an attempt to show how awesome science and engineering are as career paths. Each year has a brand new competition, with a new theme.
This years theme was "Steamworks", a Steampunk theme harkening back to the idealized Victorian steam-and-gears-powering-everything era. In the center of the playing field are "Airships", which the robots need to deliver gears to. While the gears used in actual gameplay more-or-less work, the graphics on the airship, well, don't.
SO CLOSE.
Of course, this could well explain why the airship needs gear deliveries. They keep stripping out a couple and can't figure out why
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RE: Customer service lies, per usual.
... Oh, right. So they get a free Twitter follower which turns a complaint into an advertising victim. THERE'S the benefit.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@mott555 said in The Official Status Thread:
@topspin said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: I have now added so much logging to this stupid piece of shit that the race conditions seem to have disappeared. Yay, I guess?
Filed under: ship it!
I've seen this in our own code, drop
Sleep()
's everywhere until all race conditions disappear. Is there a name for this antipattern?"The cocksucking motherfuck bullshit unpredictable machine learning antivirus is getting in the way" is usually WHY I end up directing a sleep be added.