Looks like the Nigerian scammers got to LinkedIn...
Posts made by ekolis
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RE: Clang supports Unicode characters in identifiers
So are they implying that East Asians can't count higher than 20?
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RE: The Redirector
@HardwareGeek said:
Imagine something like this little bit of pseudocode implemented in a language where the result is, by default, only a warning, not an error, given A_WIDTH != B_WIDTH:
What language actually lets you set the size of an array return type? That would be handy!
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RE: The message is too la
Imgur is good
too; should I count the br
tags as syllables? -
RE: THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
A laser that shoots beams of light with a frequency of 0 hertz
An E.T. themed PDA app for the Game Boy Color that asks you way too many personal questions (yes, such a thing exists)
Fax machines that fax messages written on stone tablets
Erectile dysfunction medication which doesn't cure your erectile dysfunction but instead causes you to grow a second, equally useless, penis
Computer chip flavored potato chips
A planet that doesn't have any gravity
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RE: Architecture (no, not the x86 kind)
Give the walls some textures? Put a menacing moon up in the sky like in Majora's Mask?
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RE: Search me
@joe.edwards said:
Then comes
fap
,fap
,fap
,fap
,fap
,fap
...Let's hope the furry function doesn't call the fap function...
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RE: Dinosaurs according to Genesis
What about unicorns? Oh, right, the dinosaurs ate them.
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RE: Joke
Bob is out on the links enjoying a nice round of golf with his buddy Bill. Suddenly, on the fourth fairway, a huge bird flies overhead and drops a turd on Bob's head.
"Whatever you do, Bob," says Bill, "don't wipe that turd off your head! EVER!"
"Why not?" asks Bob. "I've got a huge bird turd on my head and you're saying I have to keep it on my head for the rest of my LIFE?"
"Yes," says Bill. "It's a foo bird. And you know what they say about foo birds..."
But just as Bill is about to tell his friend what they say about foo birds, Bob interrupts him. "I don't care what they say about foo birds! I'm wiping it off!"
And Bob wipes the turd off the top of his head... and promptly keels over dead.
"NO!" cries Bill. "I was just about to tell him! 'If the foo shits, wear it!'" -
RE: The case of the do-nothing programmers
@jdraymon said:
if ($x) {
// Do Y
} else {
// Do Y
} catch {
// You guessed it! Do Y
}Catch without try? You can DO that?
@jdraymon said:
mod: linebreaks. -dh. we can totally weed out the Chrome users.
So it's only Chrome, and not "everything but IE"? Hmm, might have to give Firefox another shot then...
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RE: KosherSwitch
So let me get this straight.
It's not OK to press a switch once to turn on a light.
It IS OK to press a switch 1d(infinity) times to turn on a light.
Somehow doing an indeterminate amount of "work" which is never less than the original amount of "work" is considered "not work"?
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RE: The case of the do-nothing programmers
@Alex Papadimoulis said:
I do lurk quite a bit, but rarely have anything to add...but when I do comment, the CS email notifier thing keeps me coming back to the thread...
Can't you disable it? I know I don't get email notifications of every single thread I posted to. Or did a time bomb in CS's code disable the "disable thread notification" feature so as to force you to upgrade to a newer, paid version?
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RE: "developer day"
@Nagesh said:
Check "Give Me My Data" app on facebook.
Generate some chart from it and you'll be knowledged as company's hero.
Especially if you find a way to trick users into submitting their downloaded Facebook data to your app, which then monetizes the crap out of it
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RE: Best scripting language for my game
Might I suggest IronPython? It's a full-fledged .NET language, so it will integrate nicely with your C# code.
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RE: The case of the do-nothing programmers
@joe.edwards said:
OK, I'm sold on the idea. Bring back the web comics, and the OMGWTF contest while we're at it.
YES! Bring back the OMGWTF contest! I was never any good at C, so I can't take part in the Obfuscated C Contest. I've waited years to put my shitty programming skills to the test, but we never had another contest... :(
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RE: The case of the do-nothing programmers
Well, guess it's a good thing I decided not to frontpage this story after one of the site admins asked me to literally fabricate dialogue to make it more inteeresting... I'd just be getting "THIS STORY SUCKS, IT'S NOT A WTF" left and right...
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RE: SessionFactoryImpl - take it to the dry cleaner?
@Mcoder said:
And for big enough projects an import file's import file's import file.
It's import files all the way down...
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The case of the do-nothing programmers
It was January of 2011, and I'd just been hired by "Yoyo Enterprisey Systems" (not their real name), a large IT consulting firm based in India. (I am American, by the way. Why would an Indian company outsource to America? Heck if I know!) Apparently the local YES office was having a big hiring push that year, as I found myself in a group of about 20 new hires. I also found that YES was big into professional development. As in, REALLY big. We were all put into a six-week training program, where we were to get a crash course in all the skills we'd need for our new jobs.
You see, out of the 20 of us, I was the only one who had any actual programming experience. The rest of them were all fresh out of college - and some of them weren't even CS or IT majors! We had at least one electrical engineering major, and one guy who was going for his MBA.
So as you'd expect, I breezed through the training. Until about the second or third week, when the training just sort of... stopped. You see, the instructors for the training courses were unavailable because they had to engage with their clients, and the director of training, "Dwight" (I'll call him that because he looked like Dwight from "The Office"), had had a misunderstanding with the director of operations, "Apu" (he was Indian, so sue me), leading to neither of them really having any sort of backup plan.
So what did all of us 20 new hires do at that point? We hung out in the training room and surfed the web, of course! (No, we had not been assigned cubicles yet!) We often left at 2:30, with the permission of Dwight (though Apu gave him some flak for this). Of course some jokers got the bright idea to bring up Youtube videos of... well, I don't know, I didn't watch them, but whatever it was, it sounded gross! Eventually Youtube was blocked by the corporate web filter, though, so we had to find other ways to entertain ourselves.
We also heard horror stories from the team we were supposed to be joining once we completed our "training". Apparently the team lead worked 60-hour weeks nonstop, and the rest of the team did so during crunch time, which was almost the same as nonstop anyway. The client was located in Virginia and it was very hush-hush; I was afraid I'd get in trouble for mentioning the name of the client to even my family, even though I had not personally been asked to sign an NDA.
Eventually we did get cubicles, and they were in a special area of the building reserved for people on this client's projects. Technically we should not have been given cubicles there, since we had not been asked to sign any NDA, but apparently the client was too slow in providing NDA's for us to sign. Not that this meant we actually had any work to do, though - while other people worked frantically around us, we weren't allowed to touch anything, either because of the NDA issue or because it wasn't the right "phase of the moon" to bring on more developers, or something. It was actually worse (in a way) than being in the training room, as it was more isolating.
I never wound up working on that project, though. After several months (yes, months) of sitting on that project doing nothing, I got transferred to another project in another part of the building. I think the project I was on got cancelled, though I'm not entirely sure. I'm not working at YES anymore - I kind of blew up and got myself fired, despite Dwight telling me that the only way to get fired from YES was to basically walk out of the office carrying a company PC, while loudly shouting that you are stealing it. But my time at YES is something I'll probably never forget...
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RE: Another little Windows Update paper cut
@blakeyrat said:
Or you could pay attention to the icon that says it's going to reboot for a FULL THREE DAYS before it actually forces one.
But my Minecraft server... oh, the humanity!
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RE: Representative line: int gender
@PJH said:
Well according to the (Christian) bible there are two men who have managed exactly that (though not in an afternoon- they lived centuries.) Adam's one - a purple dildo to the one who spots the other...
I would say Noah, except that he had help from his three sons...
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RE: Another little Windows Update paper cut
@morbiuswilters said:
Oh, hey, here's a pop-up telling me Windows is going to restart to install updates in 15 minutes, or I can restart it myself. Well, I'm right in the middle of a Very Important Video Conference, so I'm going to hit "Close" so it doesn't install those updates right now. I will install them later, at my convenience.
five minutes pass Oh, hey, now the pop-up is back, telling me it will restart in 10 minutes. Didn't I already click "Close" on you? reads message more thoroughly Hmm.. looks like "Close" is the option I want, so I'll hit it again.
a few minutes pass Oh, hey, now it's telling me it's going to restart imminently. Surely there's a way to get this to go away for 30 minutes so I can finish my Very Important Video Conference!
a couple more minutes pass Oh, shit, now it's restarting right in the middle of me talking on this Very Important Video Conference. What the fuck, Windows? I was talking here. Well, at least it will restart quickly--oh, no, it's configuring updates. Now I have to tell my conference attendees to please wait 7 minutes while Windows figures out its shit, and since these aren't Win8 users they just think I'm too incompetent to figure out how to defer updates for a few minutes. Jesus Christ.
Apparently you can fix this via group policy.
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RE: Is Team Fuondation Service (TFS) better than Subversion?
@dhromed said:
I keep thinking the title says Team Fondue Server because of the typo.
I always think TFS stands for Team Fortress Server, because getting data into or out of it is like breaking down the walls of a fortress!
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RE: Nobody shares knowledge better than this
@bridget99 said:
And, it lets you close the fiscal year using a single, easy to remember key combination.
Alt-F4?
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RE: IPhone zynga deluxe 40k poker keeps giving me 40k chips each login
@Ben L. said:
@morbiuswilters said:
@Ben L. said:
@dhromed said:
You know what else is funny?
This thread is going to be necromanced in 4 years by Ben L. because he wants to see the reaction when people have forgotten this thread ever existed.
All you've done is made me remember how much I miss pstorer. I would brutally murder every last one of you if it bought me just five more minutes of his wit and charm.. :(
Well, we can't know for sure until we try it!
All we need is to figure out a way to necromance people...
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RE: Australium
@morbiuswilters said:
Ah, Australium: the wussiest actinide.
I actually had to Google Australium just to make sure it was still just a fictitious element...
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RE: Is Team Fuondation Service (TFS) better than Subversion?
@Ben L. said:
@morbiuswilters said:
Git
Autism
Mercurial
Diarrhea
SVN
AIDS
VISUAL SOURCESAFE POUND
Cancer
CVS
...
That stupid one Canonical created because there weren't already three dozen mediocre DVCSes...
FTFYWas CVS really that bad? I don't remember it being worse than SourceSafe... ugh! Or did it just seem better at the time because there was nothing else to compare it to?
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RE: QA
@configurator said:
In the end, as far as I know, they decided the program is the only authoritative data, so is tautologically proven to be correct.
So your QA guy just resigned on the spot?
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RE: The danger of buying a "used" domain name
So.... TRWTF is the existence of DNS caching?
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RE: Is Team Fuondation Service (TFS) better than Subversion?
Eh, I dunno, AIDS might be better than CVS, but better than SVN? That's stretching it a bit. How would you compare TFS to cancer?
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RE: Representative line: int gender
@da Doctah said:
I believe there are languages where working animals are in one grammatical category, wild animals in another, inanimate objects fall into several classes depending upon what they're used for, children who are too young to talk a special gender all their own, etc
Let me guess. Japanese?
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RE: Let's open our MySql server to anyone!
@da Doctah said:
@El_Heffe said:
A couple of days ago I found myself wondering if you could "deface" someone's paycheck by changing only the payee, so it read Pay to the Order of David Henderson dressed as Shirley Temple complete with curly blonde hair.
In the days before automatic deposit, would that require David to show up at the bank in the appropriate costume to cash or deposit the check?
Or, even better:
Pay to the order of: David Henderson or Snidely Whiplash
This is why I always draw a horizontal line after the payee, in addition to after the amount!
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RE: Google & WTF
@Nagesh said:
Apparently some guy pretending to be girl was drived off from here in 2004.
But Morbius was here long after 2004...
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RE: "That limits functionality, doesn't it?"
And don't forget:
ROUGElikelike -
RE: Let's open our MySql server to anyone!
@El_Heffe said:
@GMMan said:
Hey! That's in dollars! What do you expect the bank to do when they have to convert NaN dollars into NaN euros?
NaN Dollars x 0.77So NaN dollars is equal to NaN euros? Eureka! You've broken the currency system! Now all I need to do is get NaN yen and convert them to British pounds, and I'll be set!
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RE: That's some good testing there, Lou
@CodeNinja said:
It's just, odd... I'd love to go back and rework our implementation of PhsyX vehicles because I think it's wrong. For example, engine speed is a function of the vehicle velocity, not the other way around. This was, however, how the PhysX documentation said to do it, which just seems strange to me.
Excuse my ignorance, but why should PhysX care about engine speed? That's an implementation detail. PhysX shouldn't care whether your truck is powered by an internal combustion engine or by unicorn farts, so long as it obeys the laws of physics!
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RE: Who wants to see game-related WTFs today!?
@dhromed said:
dhromeosaurus
I'm Dromeosaurus, a cousin of Velociraptor! And just as mean! And if you're not careful, I just might eat YOU!
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RE: Let's open our MySql server to anyone!
@Ben L. said:
@ekolis said:
Let's just hope they don't send you a bill for NaN Euros, and no matter how much you pay them, the balance never decreases...
It's also not equal to the amount they billed you for.Well, what do you expect him to DO, write a check for "NaN Euros"?
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RE: "That limits functionality, doesn't it?"
@blakeyrat said:
@Sutherlands said:
Dang rouge developers.
Obligatory rogue/rouge joke.
If that's a rogue/rouge, is this a roguelike/rougelike?
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RE: From Hell's Heart I Stab at Thee
@PJH said:
@ekolis said:
Wait, males are legally protected from sexual harassment, too? Is it even possible to sexually harass a man?
Please tell me you're not serious.No, I was not serious. I was more marveling at the fact that male sexual harassment is actually taken seriously these days.
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RE: Let's open our MySql server to anyone!
Let's just hope they don't send you a bill for NaN Euros, and no matter how much you pay them, the balance never decreases...
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RE: Snoofle: i have many stories like yours to submit
@Cassidy said:
I read about it when a russian cracker's seminar talk was a proof-of-concept that a vendor's "safe encryption" could be cracked - who then was arrested once he walked offstage
Corporations can arrest people in Russia? Glad I don't live there...
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RE: Mozilla credits list is not updated.
@bannedfromcoding said:
@Cassidy said:
@havokk said:
It's cute how you think that posting here will help in any way.
Spectate is
spawningswamping!ekolis holds the cautery sword aloft!
Fierce flames bellow forth!
...But Spectate is unaffected by the flames! -
RE: Finally on Try blocks? We've heard of that too.
@Ben L. said:
@bridget99 said:
"Zapitalize" lookz to my eyez like it zhould rhyme with "nize."
Oh, are we trying to turn the world into Zapinalia, not America, now?
(wonders if anyone gets the obscure reference...)
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RE: From Hell's Heart I Stab at Thee
@snoofle said:
letting this guy go. Apparently (this is just a parallel to the actual reason), if you sexually harass someone and they complain about it, and then you lay them off for (unrelated) utter incompetence, they can complain
Wait, males are legally protected from sexual harassment, too? Is it even possible to sexually harass a man? I mean, unless you're gay or something, and he isn't...
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RE: WeHostBotnets.com
Why are you hosting your website at such a sleazy-sounding webhost? Of COURSE there will be a botnet on your site if you host it at wehostbotnets.com!
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RE: Mozilla credits list is not updated.
OK, now my money's on schizophrenic troll...
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RE: HaXe
@Zemm said:
I even had a cause to use "my @vals = @tmp{qw/a b c/};" which they cringed at, preferring "my @vals = ($tmp{'a'}, $tmp{'b'}, $tmp{'c'})".
You can DO that? Perl is SO much more awesome now...
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RE: Take out the trash
@Kaslai said:
Just like calls to Sleep(n) are guaranteed to idle for at least n milliseconds, but could, according to it's specification, idle until the heat death of the universe.
Shouldn't they call it IngestHemlock(n) then?