[quote user="bstorer"] I know I'd have to be drunk to enjoy NASCAR.[/quote] Not to mention you would have to already be drunk to drink Busch Light, which is likely the official beer of NASCAR.

[quote user="bstorer"]So after Daddy finishes lopping off these legs of yours, I want you to clean the hacksaw, and then take the legs into town, sell them, and bring me back a case of beer. AND I EXPECT CHANGE![/quote] And hurry up! NASCAR is almost on!

[quote user="bstorer"]Do you know how much a leg is worth on the black market? [/quote] And daddy needs a case of beer!

[quote user="bstorer"]They don't even have to hitchhike to work![/quote] Up hill. Both ways. In waist deep snow. Avoiding polar bears.

[quote user="bstorer"]I've only ever been able to achieve one or the other[/quote] Let them get hungry enough... They will eat it.

[quote user="bstorer"] Spoil the kids, or the cat food? [/quote] Both, but hopefully in the reverse order.

[quote user="bstorer"]Good point! And if they develop black lung, then I guess you could switch them to a career as a jockey. [/quote] There is always a market for midgets in the entertainment industry...

[quote user="bstorer"]I could sell you some recalled cat food. CHEAP.[/quote] Oh sure, spoil them.

[quote user="bstorer"] I recommend putting them to work as coal miners, because those can get down inside those little crevices to get the best coal. [/quote] Best if you start them early on feeding them coffee, cigarettes and alcohol. You need to stunt their growth early on to maximize their...

[quote user="AbbydonKrafts"][quote user="MasterPlanSoftware"]I could sell you a few. CHEAP.[/quote] Haha! It's the upkeep that I'm concerned about.[/quote] Bah, lock em in a closet, shove some graham crackers under the door every now and then... Whats so costly?