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You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

Last post 02-03-2008 2:27 PM by pianohacker. 31 replies.
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  • 08-22-2006 2:38 PM

    You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    I've been working with computers since the mid 1970s, and thought I'd seen every possible stupid thing users could do. Coffee cups on the PC's cup holder. $20 bills jammed into the slot (floppy) to purchase stuff on the internet. Pretty much everything featured on TDWTF. Nothing could surprise me anymore. Until today.

    A co-worker in another group, upon finishing a presentation, asked me to distribute it to the folks in my department. I told her I'd need six copies. She said she'd get them to me. So far, so good.

    An hour later, I got an e-mail from her. Ok, so I'd have to print out six copies myself. Still, so far, so good. Then I opened the e-mail, to find six copies of the presentation attached.

    Today, I learned to never underestimate Mother Nature's ability to create idiots faster than Natural Selection can kill them off!

    *sigh*

  • 08-22-2006 3:30 PM In reply to

    • JoC
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 08-22-2006
    • Posts 17

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    I once asked a user for a copy of an Access database they were having trouble with. I asked if they needed to be walked through getting it to me, but they were generally pretty sharp and said they could handle it.

    The next day my inbox had an email from the user with attachments. I was kind of surprised it came out ok until I opened it to find that the attachments were images of the icons. They were indeed images of the icons of database files though!

  • 08-22-2006 4:04 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    JoC:

    I once asked a user for a copy of an Access database they were having trouble with. I asked if they needed to be walked through getting it to me, but they were generally pretty sharp and said they could handle it.

    The next day my inbox had an email from the user with attachments. I was kind of surprised it came out ok until I opened it to find that the attachments were images of the icons. They were indeed images of the icons of database files though!

    Nice!

  • 08-22-2006 4:24 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    JoC:

    I once asked a user for a copy of an Access database they were having trouble with. I asked if they needed to be walked through getting it to me, but they were generally pretty sharp and said they could handle it.

    The next day my inbox had an email from the user with attachments. I was kind of surprised it came out ok until I opened it to find that the attachments were images of the icons. They were indeed images of the icons of database files though!


    Atleast they had the skills to take images of the icons. I remember receiving zipped up shortcuts to mdbs on  a 1.44 MB floppy. Good gracious. Imagine tolerating the - "it unzips and works on my computer" remark after that.
  • 08-22-2006 4:58 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    snoofle:

    ...$20 bills jammed into the slot (floppy) to purchase stuff on the internet. Pretty much everything featured on TDWTF. Nothing could surprise me anymore. Until today.

    ...

    An hour later, I got an e-mail from her. Ok, so I'd have to print out six copies myself. Still, so far, so good. Then I opened the e-mail, to find six copies of the presentation attached.

    I'm sorry, I think the $20 bill thing is way more surprising than the 6 copies.

    Did she tell you that she would need at least one of the copies back when you were done? And then did you say, "OK, but since I'm printing it out, it'll be on paper."?

    You think a $20 bill causes a mess with the floppy slot? You should have seen my uncle when he browsed to his first adult website with a wad full of $1 bills...
  • 08-23-2006 9:26 AM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    What you say is so damn true. I remember my school days when we had an introduction to information technology. It was quite ok, because the teacher was a regular math teacher and I can say that 90 % of the pupils would have surpassed him in any kind of knowledge.

    I remember one moment when we had to get save some data from our systems to a floppy disk, so we could work on it at home. (nothing WTFesk until now). One of the girls (no she was not blone nor hot at all like hairpulling girl or foosball girl) REALLY tried to put the floppy-disk into the CD-ROM drive.

    This was a major WTF at that moment, because god damn at the kindergarden you play with some wooden stuff that teaches you the difference between circles and squares. A 5 year old child would have done a better job at this.


    (Another true wtf is that with every key that i press while typing this i create at least 10 javascript errors which makes typing really laggy)
    There is a WTF in all of our code.
  • 08-23-2006 11:13 AM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    I do remember that when I did my electronics course (Early 1990s) we had to do an "introduction to IT" unit. This was probably fine for the "just out of school" crowd, but I had been working as a programmer for years.

    I sat through the first "lab session" - I did the exercises in the first few minutes, then explored the set-up on the PC. It had a number of DOS applications run from a “secure menu” that you could only exit by entering a password. It had a simple CAD program, WordStar for word-processing, some sort of spreadsheet and a few other bits.

    At the end of the lecture I asked the lecturer if I could be excused the rest of the unit because of my experience.  She said that I would need to demonstrate my computer literacy first.  To me this meant showing that I understood DOS and the way it controls the computer, not a bunch of basic applications; so I thought that I needed to start with a DOS prompt. But I didn’t have the password to get out of the menu system.

    No problem… when she showed me to the nearest PC (sat at its ‘secure’ menu) and asked me to show her what I knew, I header straight for DOS (my way). I selected WordStar, hit Ctrl-K F to “run a command” typed “command” to run command.com and received a DOS prompt. I turned to the lecturer and asked what she wanted to see. She looked blank for a moment then said “I haven’t the foggiest what you just did, so lets assume you know more than I do!”

    Linux is not a code base. Or a distro. Or a kernel. It's an attitude. And it's not about Open Source. It's about a bunch of people who still think vi is a good config UI.

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  • 08-24-2006 6:48 AM In reply to

    • wing
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-18-2006
    • Posts 23

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    snoofle:
    I've been working with computers since the mid 1970s, and thought I'd seen every possible stupid thing users could do. Coffee cups on the PC's cup holder. $20 bills jammed into the slot (floppy) to purchase stuff on the internet. Pretty much everything featured on TDWTF. Nothing could surprise me anymore. Until today.

    A co-worker in another group, upon finishing a presentation, asked me to distribute it to the folks in my department. I told her I'd need six copies. She said she'd get them to me. So far, so good.

    An hour later, I got an e-mail from her. Ok, so I'd have to print out six copies myself. Still, so far, so good. Then I opened the e-mail, to find six copies of the presentation attached.

    Today, I learned to never underestimate Mother Nature's ability to create idiots faster than Natural Selection can kill them off!

    *sigh*

    That's nothing.

    My dad was Ireland's main importer of Motorolla computers back in the seventies. He fitted a huge pig farm and a huge gardening centre with computers to monitor stock and what have you. (DBase, I believe was the db language, but it's been some years now)

    He got a call from the first place which said that after a power spike the system went down, that's not too serious though, the system was programmed to do nightly back ups and he instructed them on how to stick in a floppy disk and take them out. He stressed how important it was to keep them safe so he asked if they had copies. She said they did so he got in his car and drove out. She did have the floppies, but she had punched them to store them in a folder. "You only said not to let them get torn or cut, you didn't tell me not to punch them".

    The pig farm lost their re-install cds and asked to be sent out new copies. When my dad said it would either take a week or two in the post or they could have him deliver them (for a reasonable price) they demanded he fax them down.

  • 08-24-2006 12:34 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    wing:

    The pig farm lost their re-install cds and asked to be sent out new copies. When my dad said it would either take a week or two in the post or they could have him deliver them (for a reasonable price) they demanded he fax them down.



    Maybe they received their computers by fax.
  • 08-24-2006 6:07 PM In reply to

    • Steeldragon
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 04-10-2006
    • the only state w/ 1 border in US
    • Posts 79

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    kuroshin:
    wing:

    The pig farm lost their re-install cds and asked to be sent out new copies. When my dad said it would either take a week or two in the post or they could have him deliver them (for a reasonable price) they demanded he fax them down.



    Maybe they received their computers by fax.


    lol....
    newfunction=noitcnufwen
    begin
    {{{If
    {Read(WTF)=True
    {ReturnValue(x<y<x)}}}}
    Or
    {If
    {Read(WTF)=False
    {ReturnValue(x>x+y,y>x,x<z^2,z<x,z>y)}}}}
    end
  • 08-25-2006 11:11 AM In reply to

    • RayS
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on 01-22-2005
    • Posts 680

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    wing:
    The pig farm lost their re-install cds and asked to be sent out new copies. When my dad said it would either take a week or two in the post or they could have him deliver them (for a reasonable price) they demanded he fax them down.

    Just tell them to put the CD-ROM template media into the fax machine in place of the paper and you'll get straight on it!
    EULA: By reading this post and associated disclaimer, you are consenting to agree with the opinions disclosed within. If you disagree with this license agreement, you may not return it for a refund.
  • 08-28-2006 7:15 AM In reply to

    • wing
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 07-18-2006
    • Posts 23

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    RayS:
    wing:
    The pig farm lost their re-install cds and asked to be sent out new copies. When my dad said it would either take a week or two in the post or they could have him deliver them (for a reasonable price) they demanded he fax them down.

    Just tell them to put the CD-ROM template media into the fax machine in place of the paper and you'll get straight on it!

    I'm definitely going to remember that one.
  • 08-28-2006 9:28 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    One of my friends once brought me a floppy disk. He said, "there are some software programs on this floppy. Really nice ones. Try them." I put it in, and saw - Adobe Photoshop, CorelDRAW, Microsoft Office 2k, Visual Studio 6, Macromedia Dreamweaver. They were all windows 9x "shortcut to's". Turned out he right clicked the Start menu links and did a "Send to... floppy".
  • 08-28-2006 9:30 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    And talking about needing a license to use a computer, one particular republican actually seriously believes so. Quote from http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/ - "There should be an “Internet drivers license“. Anybody wishing to use the Internet should be examined on their knowledge of the Windows operating system, plus have a basic standard of morality. References from a church or local republican party officer may be required to get the license. Ex-convicts and people with lax morals should be kept from the Internet for their own good!"
  • 02-01-2008 4:37 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

     The only bad part is that this guy also believes that Linux, atheists and liberals are all the spawns of Satan.

    I mean, I've been partial to the first part after spending three hours trying to get X11 to work, but honestly.

  • 02-01-2008 4:39 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    Alex - time to stop posting the link to the original post?  :)

    Filed under:
  • 02-01-2008 4:53 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    pianohacker:

     The only bad part is that this guy also believes that Linux, atheists and liberals are all the spawns of Satan.

    I mean, I've been partial to the first part after spending three hours trying to get X11 to work, but honestly.

     

    Wait... What?

    Yes, I have been banned. Thanks to all for a good time.

    Tired of incompetent moderation?
    Wondering where all the clever discussion went?
    Try irc.slashnet.org #TDWTFMafia.
    We don't ban or kick and everyone is welcome.*

    *Stupid people will be mocked mercilessly and encouraged to commit suicide, however.
  • 02-01-2008 5:01 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    MasterPlanSoftware:

    pianohacker:

    I mean, I've been partial to the first part after spending three hours trying to get X11 to work, but honestly.

     

    Wait... What?

    Yeah, didn't think about that, but yeah, get yourself a distro that doesn't suck.  Considering he's a piano hacker, maybe he was trying to install linux on a piano?  or an Easy Bake Oven?

    Also keep in mind that, without X11, he was trying for three hours in text only mode.

    This user has retired from TDWTF Forums, citing complete incompetence on the part of the moderators. Please continue to spam the addresses below.

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  • 02-01-2008 5:12 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

     

    belgariontheking:

    MasterPlanSoftware:

    pianohacker:

    I mean, I've been partial to the first part after spending three hours trying to get X11 to work, but honestly.

     

    Wait... What?

    Yeah, didn't think about that, but yeah, get yourself a distro that doesn't suck.  Considering he's a piano hacker, maybe he was trying to install linux on a piano?  or an Easy Bake Oven?

    Also keep in mind that, without X11, he was trying for three hours in text only mode.

    I wish I had a clue what the hell he/you are talking about! (without rereading all the posts in this ancient thread)

    Yes, I have been banned. Thanks to all for a good time.

    Tired of incompetent moderation?
    Wondering where all the clever discussion went?
    Try irc.slashnet.org #TDWTFMafia.
    We don't ban or kick and everyone is welcome.*

    *Stupid people will be mocked mercilessly and encouraged to commit suicide, however.
  • 02-01-2008 5:24 PM In reply to

    • dlikhten
    • Top 25 Contributor
    • Joined on 09-27-2007
    • New York Citeyah
    • Posts 669

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    MasterPlanSoftware:

     

    belgariontheking:

    MasterPlanSoftware:

    pianohacker:

    I mean, I've been partial to the first part after spending three hours trying to get X11 to work, but honestly.

     

    Wait... What?

    Yeah, didn't think about that, but yeah, get yourself a distro that doesn't suck.  Considering he's a piano hacker, maybe he was trying to install linux on a piano?  or an Easy Bake Oven?

    Also keep in mind that, without X11, he was trying for three hours in text only mode.

    I wish I had a clue what the hell he/you are talking about! (without rereading all the posts in this ancient thread)

     

    I like cupcakes.

    Code is like a box of chocolates. You never know who stuck a turd in there and why.
    The Stupidest Man On Earth
    SSDS Bug: Program should not start up
  • 02-01-2008 5:26 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    R.Flowers:

    snoofle:

    ...$20 bills jammed into the slot (floppy) to purchase stuff on the internet. Pretty much everything featured on TDWTF. Nothing could surprise me anymore. Until today.

    ...

    An hour later, I got an e-mail from her. Ok, so I'd have to print out six copies myself. Still, so far, so good. Then I opened the e-mail, to find six copies of the presentation attached.

     

    ...

    Did she tell you that she would need at least one of the copies back when you were done? And then did you say, "OK, but since I'm printing it out, it'll be on paper."?

    Maybe a boundary object is a boundary object, digital or not? Maybe not so bad when you think about. Perception, possession, the lot.

    The line about your uncle, please say it isn't true.

  • 02-01-2008 5:30 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    mercurysquad:
    And talking about needing a license to use a computer, one particular republican actually seriously believes so. Quote from http://www.shelleytherepublican.com/ - "There should be an “Internet drivers license“. Anybody wishing to use the Internet should be examined on their knowledge of the Windows operating system, plus have a basic standard of morality. References from a church or local republican party officer may be required to get the license. Ex-convicts and people with lax morals should be kept from the Internet for their own good!"
     

    Granted, I can't view this in all its glory because my employer's proxy blocks it, but based on what I could read via alternate methods, this HAS to be a troll. There's no other possible explanation. 

  • 02-01-2008 5:39 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer

    R.Flowers:

     You should have seen my uncle when he browsed to his first adult website with a wad full of $1 bills...

     

     Actually I'm pretty glad I missed that ...

    There are three kinds of people: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.
    Filed under:
  • 02-01-2008 5:48 PM In reply to

    Re: You should need a license before being allowed to use a computer