My train was late last night. Here in the UK you can apply for a partial/full refund for your ticket, so I went and found the claim form PDF.

You of course need to attach your ticket to the form as proof of purchase.

Normal people would think that a paperclip or staple would be the preferred method of doing this (or perhaps since it's 2012, not having to snail-mail a form in at all), but Cross Country trains have a different idea:

Licking my printout didn't help stick the ticket to it at all. Maybe my printer is out of glue?

fowkc:

Maybe my printer is out of glue?

You know that sticky spit feeling you have in your mouth just after you wake up? You're supposed to use that. Lick the paper before your mouth works out how to make regular saliva. Repeat for a few mornings until you manage to collect enough of it on the page to stick the ticket down.

 Alt production methods:

- Eat meat that has gone slightly bad, but not bad enough to make you vomit within an hour. Drink lots of fluids.

- Watch "special internet pictures" and do the needful. Don't finish. Let things settle. Repeat for a few days until you've accumulated enough... material.

related (safe)

TarquinWJ:

You know that sticky spit feeling you have in your mouth just after you wake up?

No?

TarquinWJ:

You know that sticky spit feeling you have in your mouth just after you wake up? You're supposed to use that. Lick the paper before your mouth works out how to make regular saliva. Repeat for a few mornings until you manage to collect enough of it on the page to stick the ticket down.

I wake up with a dry mouth. I keep a jug of water on my nightstand.

MiffTheFox:

I wake up with a dry mouth.

You slept a little too long. You need to wake up just before it completes drying. Also, you snore too much, apparently.

Just hold it up, facing the general direction of Cross Country's HQ. Their suck should do the rest.