In order to save time and be in compliance with the oft-confusing world of Oregon retail diesel fuel tax, I decided to look into ordering some custom carbon copy forms.

I found a promising sounding website, www.printingblue.com/carbonlessforms-printing.asp, that could print custom forms.

While the page was still loading, I started scrolling down to find some pricing info.The page jumped back to the top of the page, which I chalked up to having finished loading, so I started scrolling back down. To my suprise, it jumped back to the top of the page again.

I tried a few more times, but again and again, I would be returned to the top of the page. On furthur investigation, I was being brought to the top of the page by a dialog box with the following text:

PrintingBlue Live Chat Natasha : 1`

Natasha : Please ask if You need any assistance!

Nancy : Hi and welcome to printingblue.coms LIVE chat support. This is Nancy here to assist you with your printing requirements.

Nancy : Please ask if You need any assistance!

Nancy : looking for carbonless paper printing?

Nancy : may i assist you on that?

Nancy : i am LIVE here for your help

Every few seconds, when the chat dialog refreshed itself, the browser would be taken back to the dialog box, preventing me from finding what it was I wanted on the page. The journey of fun continued:

You : your form is preventing me from browsing your website

Nancy : sorry for this

Nancy : I am LIVE here you can ask to me what you want

Nancy : I can provide you best job with discounted prices LIVE here

Nancy : do you have your design file /art work ready?

Nancy : Please note that, we offer FREE Graphic Design Services at printingblue.com with unlimited design revisions till your satisfaction...

Nancy : are you with me?

Nancy : i can quote you the best regarding your carbonless forms Nancy : please let me know if you getting my messages?

Apparently I am not supposed to browse their site, but have a LIVE chat about what I am looking for... IM is the new phone, I guess...

 Excellent, both the technology and the staff are obnoxious!

I like this part of the page where they say they offer shipment to "all USA" and then proceed to [wrongly] list all of the states.  Idaho State? Wyoming Capital US states?  WTF?  There's a lot of other poor English on that page too...weak.

 Printingblue offers free design services for carbonless forms printing and free shipment in all USA and canada including but not limited to Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho State, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky , Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming Capital US states.

I wonder if this really was a living person given the short reply and the fact that this person didn't give a shit on the visitors concerns. The also over-emphasize the word LIVE. They kind of shout at you that this is fucking LIVE. If this was really live this wouldn't be necessary.

" I can provide you best job with discounted prices LIVE here" 

"i can quote you the best regarding your carbonless forms "

 

They all sound so much like Pidgin-English.

I am trying to turn the tables on them.. its pretty funny..

 

SP1 : Hi and welcome to printingblue.coms LIVE chat support. This is SP1 here to assist you with your printing requirements.

SP1 : Please ask if You need any assistance!

You : Hi and welcome to printingblue.coms LIVE chat support. This is Mark here to assist you with your printing requirements.

You : Please ask if You need any assistance!

SP1 : That is me ....

You : looking for carbonless paper printing?

SP1 : I am LIVE here to assist you

You : may i assist you on that?

You : i am LIVE here for your help

You : I am LIVE here you can ask to me what you want

You : I can provide you best job with discounted prices LIVE here

You : are you with me?

SP1 : That is not right sent.

SP1 : LOL..

You : i can quote you the best regarding your carbonless forms

You : So what can i help you with today SP1

You : please let me know if you getting my messages?

SP1 : OK..

SP1 : I need 2000 NCR

You : Sure thing

You : do you have your design file /art work ready?

SP1 : no

You : Oke what kind of NCR are you specifically looking for ?

SP1 : 2 parts with perfor. and landscap type

You : And you want 2000 of those

You : Please note that, we offer FREE Graphic Design Services at printingblue.com with unlimited design revisions till your satisfaction...

SP1 : yes

You : Is there anything else you are looking for ?

You : i can quote you the best regarding your carbonless forms

You : please let me know if you getting my messages?

You : i am LIVE here for your help

You : SP1, are you still here ?

 

LOL, that's soo funny!

I went to that site and same thing happens to me, although it seems to happen periodically rather than everytime they reply, maybe on every Ajax refresh call.

I was using Firefox, I seem to get a strange frame filling the entire top of the screen in IE7 though.

The plot thickens, Nancy is actualy.... Maria!

 

SP1 : May i know your name?

SP1 : You are not customer.. you are empl. of Printingblue

You : Yes it is Nancy

You : Hi and welcome to printingblue.coms LIVE chat support. This is Nancy here to assist you with your printing requirements.

You : Hey, do you know whats for lunch today ?

SP1 : Maria?

 

Okay, so i thought this might just be one another bot annoyingly built in their website.
Just had to try it. Almost seems like there are real people talking to you LIVE... Well meant probably, but OMG how annoying!

And for Muntrue: keep harassing them. This site is just SCREEMING for it (and it's LIVE).

Tracy : Hi and welcome to printingblue.coms LIVE chat support. This is Tracy here to assist you with your printing requirements.

[snip]

Tracy : I can help you with all your printing needs! all you have to do is ask me!

Tracy : I can help you with all your printing needs! all you have to do is ask me!

You : 毎日新聞のニ

You : スポー?

Tracy : hello

Tracy : can you speak english?

You : よう!!

Tracy : I can help you with printing

 Hilarity ensues. Thank-you!

Nancy : Please ask if You need any assistance!

Nancy : How may i help you

Nancy : feel free to ask me

Nancy : I am LIVE here for your help

Nancy : Just let me know your printing needs

Nancy : i can provide you best possible job...

Nancy : with discounted and unbeatable prices

You : 出典 フリー百科事典『ウィキペディア

Nancy : are you with me?

You : 賛同していただけ

Nancy : your system language is getting problem

Nancy : too hard to read

Nancy : may i know your name and email please

You : support@printingblue.com

Nancy : ok

Nancy : thanks for sharing info

 This thread just took an awesome turn...totally killing my post-lunch productivity.

You: allo?
maria: hi
maria: how may i help you?
You: are you from the islands, dear?
maria: we are IL bassed.
maria: let me know your printing needs?
maria: i can provide you the best discounted prices LIVE here
You: which impoverished nation are you from?
maria: ?

Maria : i can provide you the carbonless paper in cheaper price quote with your printing specs..

You : sǝƃɐssǝɯ ɹnoʎ ƃuıʌıǝɔǝɹ ɯɐ ı

You : ¡ǝʌıl noʎ oʇ ƃuıʞlɐʇ ɯɐ ı

Maria : okay please hold

Maria : we can only speak english

You : ɥsılƃuǝ ƃuıʞɐǝds ɯɐ ı

Maria : let me transfer your chat to some another person who can speak your language

You : pǝddılɟ ʇsnɾ s,ʇı

You : ¿sǝƃɐssǝɯ ʎɯ ƃuıʇʇǝƃ noʎ ɟı ʍouʞ ǝɯ ʇǝl ǝsɐǝld

You : sɔǝds ƃuıʇuıɹd ɹnoʎ ɥʇıʍ ǝʇonb ǝɔıɹd ɹǝdɐǝɥɔ uı ɹǝdɐd ssǝluoqɹɐɔ ǝɥʇ noʎ ǝpıʌoɹd uɐɔ ı

Maria : can you speak english?

Maria : please let me know your language

Maria : where you from?

Grins

 

 

Tracy : Hi and welcome to printingblue.coms LIVE chat support. This is Tracy here to assist you with your printing requirements.

Tracy : Please ask if You need any assistance!

Tracy : looking for carbonless form printing?

Tracy : may i assist you with that?

You : Hello, this is Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC. I can see you are already seated so let me ask you. What do you think you are doing ?

Tracy : ia m here live to assist you

Tracy : hi chris :)

Tracy : i got your email

You : Hello Tracy. Why are you here ?

Tracy : i got net discounted

You : So because you got net discounted you think it is oke to do what you are doing ?

Tracy : no no

You : So in your mind, what justifies this ?

Tracy : i forward your request to the conerned department for pricing

You : Yes we have heard that excuse before

Tracy : as soon i will get the quote i was made my mind to give you email

Tracy : sorry for inconvience

You : I have here a list of instant messages you made with our decoy Jonathan

You : If you want i can read it

You : You thought you were talking to a potentional costumer. But instead it was our decoy.

You : You came here today to sell crap to unsuspected costumers

You : Thats not right now is it Tracy..

Tracy : i wasnot

Tracy : yes i am Tracy :)

You : So why did you bring that six pack of beer ?

You : And what are you going to do with those condoms !?

You : Please answer the question Tracy

Tracy : chris i cannot tolerate such kind of language

Tracy : its our business time

You : You cannot tolerate that language

Tracy : if you are interest to do print something i am here to assist you

You : how about the vulgair language you spew about Carbonless forms

You : I have the proof right here in the chatlog

You : Tracy let me ask you something

You : Is this the first time you did this ?

Tracy : can you show me the prrof?

Tracy : sorry i never use vulgar language with you

You : Yes it is right here on the table

You : Would you like to use vulgair language tho ?

Tracy : no

Tracy : chris can you hold for 20 minutes, i have break now

Tracy : i will meat later

You : Yes, im sure you do want meat later )

You : Oke Tracy i will let you off the hook.

You : Untill we meet again

 

Going Schwarzenegger didn't get me very far:

PS -- I had to switch to IE in order to chat... Firefox (2.0.0.15) threw a bunch of javascript errors. 

Natasha: Hi and welcome to printingblue.coms LIVE chat support. This is Natasha here to assist you with your printing requirements.
Natasha: Please ask if You need any assistance!
Natasha: are you looking for carbonless forms printing?
Natasha: may i assist you with that?
Natasha: feel free to ask
You: I'm not into politics, I'm into survival
Natasha: i am here live to assist you
Natasha: ok
You: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
Natasha: let me know your required size and quantity for the carbonless forms?
You: If I am not me, who da hell am I?

I wonder... If there are more customers than chatmarketers logged in, do the poor creatures have to do chatmarketing with more than one client at once? I think so. Would be really cruel on them if the customer to agent ratio ever rose up to, say, 30:1.

Renan "C#" Sousa:

I wonder... If there are more customers than chatmarketers logged in, do the poor creatures have to do chatmarketing with more than one client at once? I think so. Would be really cruel on them if the customer to agent ratio ever rose up to, say, 30:1.

These "live" systems usually are request-based ... you "press" a button or something and up comes the chat request. This site seems to have just put the damn chat in the front page, which is definitely upping the quantity of "customers" in live chats.

I remember a friend working as one of these reps, it was fun to see what some people asked:

 

Emma: Hi, this is Emma

Customer3256892: Hi baby, can I have your phone number?

danixdefcon5:

I remember a friend working as one of these reps, it was fun to see what some people asked:

 

Emma: Hi, this is Emma

Customer3256892: Hi baby, can I have your phone number?

Emma: It's 1-900-462-8739