The motherboard in my home server blew up the other day, so I journeyed to the neighborhood computer store. I decided to get a Socket A motherboard since I didn't feel like shelling out big bucks for an upgrade just for a file server. They only had one Socket A motherboard in stock, and despite the fact that it's for an old processor, it seems to be "Engineered with the latest available technologies":

Advanced Power Adaptor (APA)

Dual power connectors with 5V and 12V
(4pin), not only stabilize the CPU power
consumption, but also meet the demand of
power supply for today and tomorrow.

WTF are they talking about? The system power supply? The motherboard doesn't even have a 4-pin connector, it has an ATX power connector.

 

Color Mapping

Help to set-up the motherboard more
easier! Same function as the standard
color of PC99 I/O connectors, users can
easily assemble the motherboard by
following the color coded individual jumper,
connectors and sockets.

Yes, it was much more easier to set-up. Never mind the fact that I had to look in the manual to find out where to plug in the front power switch and LEDs because, unlike every other motherboard I've owned, the jumper is not marked on the board.

 

Gimme Info

Realtime information display! Simply hit the
F9 key, users can find the information about
CPU, Motherboard model, BIOS version,
Memory type & size, Devices,....etc, and
tune the system in the quickest way.

By "Realtime", they apparently mean "Boottime".

 

Hyper Booster

Enhance the CPU overclocking capability
and boost the CPU frequency at 1MHz
interval in the BOIS setting page.

Everything seems OK here. Just one question: WTF is a "BOIS"?

 

Firewall Armor

A powerful hacker free firewall software with
Windows XP Service Pack 2 edition. It also
can hook up with any anti virus software to
protect the PC from virus.

Yet another "feature" that has nothing to do with the motherboard. I checked the included CD — besides the standard drivers and manuals, there was nothing but some crappy shareware backup software, some crappy shareware media software, and some crappy shareware presentation software.

 

On-line Help Console

Instantly report users' problems to service
center. Simply type in e-mail address,
questions, and select a TSD site through
Windows 'Auto Reply' function. The service
center will receive the message along with
computer system status without any delay.
So the problems can be effectively solved by
TSD support.

Instantly and without any delay! They've apparently disproven general relativity and can solve your problem without waiting for those pokey light waves to reach China and back.

 

The motherboard works well so far (up 1 day, 17:20). Just looks like another case of marketing having their heads embedded in their arses.

 You bought a cheap, piece of shit motherboard from Taiwan, what exactly did you expect?

jspenguin:

The motherboard works well so far (up 1 day, 17:20). Just looks like another case of marketing having their heads embedded in their arses.

It's a shitty motherboard, but they gotta put something on the case to help you justify the purchase. Besides, you somehow missed the best part:

motherboard box:

Product in this box may not support all the technologies depicted.

With a disclaimer like that, I'd ramp up the claims on the box. "LASER HACKER DEFENSE SYSTEM" and "POWERED BY SENTIENT NANO-MACHINES" come to mind.

jspenguin:

Firewall Armor

A powerful hacker free firewall software with
Windows XP Service Pack 2 edition. It also
can hook up with any anti virus software to
protect the PC from virus.

Yet another "feature" that has nothing to do with the motherboard. I checked the included CD — besides the standard drivers and manuals, there was nothing but some crappy shareware backup software, some crappy shareware media software, and some crappy shareware presentation software.

I like how their firewall is hacker free. When was the last time I've seen hackers inside my firewall? Um... never. Maybe they meant hacker proof, but that's as much snake oil as this one.

Must be crap firewall anyway, the one that came with my Gigabyte/nVidia chipset motherboard was so crap I just killed it 2 days after installing it.

danixdefcon5:

Must be crap firewall anyway, the one that came with my Gigabyte/nVidia chipset motherboard was so crap I just killed it 2 days after installing it.

 

 Maybe so, but the point is that there is no firewall software on the CD. They're talking about the firewall that comes with XP SP2.

Of course, having enough computers in your house and doing enough stuff with them to justify owning a full-on server instead of a mere network drive is either TRWTF or absolutely awesome; I honestly can't decide which.

Ahhhhhhhh. PC Chips. I really hope it works out for you, but this company is legendary for it's cheapness... and my own first-hand experience dealing with their motherboards confims it, at least to me. It was a PC Chips motherboard I was working at on-site once when I picked the computer up to reposition so I could see the PCI slots better.... and a couple of transistors fell right off the board.Of course that was back in 1996... it's conceivable they've gotten quality control since then, however other people's Internet ancedotes aren't kind to "PC Chips" either... I have worked on PC Chips motherboards since then, and while they haven't fallen apart in my hands, they also weren't good computers.

Jake Grey:

Of course, having enough computers in your house and doing enough stuff with them to justify owning a full-on server instead of a mere network drive is either TRWTF or absolutely awesome; I honestly can't decide which.

You don't have a home server? n00b.

bstorer:

You don't have a home server?

What am I going to do with one, hold LAN parties with my imaginary friends? Besides, I've got three PCs and a laptop in one room of a shared house; I barely have room for a bed in here!

Either they've got some new-gen technologies in there (like, for working around that stupid old cpu multiplier × FSB freq. limitation), or they're complete idiots.

That's not a difficult choice, is it?

 Ask for the new motherboard without the box. Tell them you want to pay for the board, not the marketing.

The "BOIS" are back in town.

TheDude:

The "BOIS" are back in town.

 

I laughed until Pepsi bubbled through my respiratory tract in an unusual manner.  :D

jspenguin:

Hyper Booster

Enhance the CPU overclocking capability
and boost the CPU frequency at 1MHz
interval in the BOIS setting page.

Everything seems OK here. Just one question: WTF is a "BOIS"?

According to Babelfish it means "wood". Maybe the BOIS setting page refers to some sort of wooden table?

 I only buy motherboards that make me feel all warm and fuzzy about their reliability ...

 

jspenguin:

I decided to get a Socket A motherboard

  WTF #1

since I didn't feel like shelling out big bucks for an upgrade

WTF #2

Actual prices from NewEgg: 

Decent quality modern motherboard   - $50

Dual core CPU that will completely blow away your antique Socket A CPU - $57 

Total cost $107.  That's "Big Bucks"?  You're joking, right? 

El_Heffe:

Total cost $107.  That's "Big Bucks"?  You're joking, right? 

 

Hey, times are tough. 

I'm with 'TheDude' here; $107 buys about a week and a half's groceries for me, allowing for the exchange rate, and Dual Core would be kind of an overkill unless he's planning on running Crysis LAN parties off this thing or something.

El_Heffe:

jspenguin:

I decided to get a Socket A motherboard

  WTF #1

since I didn't feel like shelling out big bucks for an upgrade

WTF #2

Actual prices from NewEgg: 

Decent quality modern motherboard   - $50

Dual core CPU that will completely blow away your antique Socket A CPU - $57 

Total cost $107.  That's "Big Bucks"?  You're joking, right? 

 

Replacement RAM: $45

Replacement power supply: $40

"PC Chips"... anything like buffalo chips? 

jspenguin:

Gimme Info

Realtime information display! Simply hit the
F9 key, users can find the information about
CPU, Motherboard model, BIOS version,
Memory type & size, Devices,....etc, and
tune the system in the quickest way.

By "Realtime", they apparently mean "Boottime".

This feature actually had me interested until I realized it was just a regular BIOS setup with an odd hotkey. I have an old Dell 486 with a feature where you could press (I think it was) Ctrl-Alt-Backspace at any time you're in text mode to pop up BIOS setup, then quit back out to where you were or reboot with Alt-B. Most settings changes didn't take effect until rebooting but some, like PC-speaker volume, were immediate. Never saw a feature like that since...

 Not that I'd trust any of this is accurate, considering PC Chips (or Amptron, or Elpina, or ECS, or EliteGroup, or whatever-flavour-of-the-month they are) is infamous for processor remarking, fake chipsets, gluing black plastic squares (complete with silkscreened part numbers and metal legs) on their boards and calling them cache chips, and my personal favourite:  Editing their BIOS not only to report that fake cache as present, but to also report the CPUs soldered on their motherboards as ~33% faster than they actually ran at, but here goes:

 APA:  Probably means you have more than one way to hook extra power to the board.  Perhaps it has a larger ATX connector *and* a molex connector?

 Color mapping:  Trust me, motherboards were way harder to set up.  Anyone ever tried to hook up an old PC Shits 486 mobo before?  Heheh...

operagost:

El_Heffe:

jspenguin:

I decided to get a Socket A motherboard

  WTF #1

since I didn't feel like shelling out big bucks for an upgrade

WTF #2

Actual prices from NewEgg: 

Decent quality modern motherboard   - $50

Dual core CPU that will completely blow away your antique Socket A CPU - $57 

Total cost $107.  That's "Big Bucks"?  You're joking, right? 

 

Replacement RAM: $45

Replacement power supply: $40

 

 Replacement video card (go AGP!):  $60

Replacement hard drive (go IDE!):  $80

Replacement DVD (more IDE!): $30

Board that will hold my all my PCI cards :  +$50

 And people wonder why I haven't bought a new system for a while.  It'll be a couple more years at this rate...   Yes, I know you can still gets boards with IDE on them.  When I finally get around to replacing my motherboard, I doubt I'll even find one in ATX, never mind with any IDE on it.  And $107 is almost 2 days earnings (after tax) for a lot of PC Techs in Canada.

shepd:

operagost:

El_Heffe:

jspenguin:

I decided to get a Socket A motherboard

  WTF #1

since I didn't feel like shelling out big bucks for an upgrade

WTF #2

Actual prices from NewEgg: 

Decent quality modern motherboard   - $50

Dual core CPU that will completely blow away your antique Socket A CPU - $57 

Total cost $107.  That's "Big Bucks"?  You're joking, right? 

 

Replacement RAM: $45

Replacement power supply: $40

 

 Replacement video card (go AGP!):  $60

Replacement hard drive (go IDE!):  $80

Replacement DVD (more IDE!): $30

Board that will hold my all my PCI cards :  +$50

 

 Wait, are we replacing a faulty motherboard or the whole server here?

Jake Grey:

Of course, having enough computers in your house and doing enough stuff with them to justify owning a full-on server instead of a mere network drive is either TRWTF or absolutely awesome; I honestly can't decide which.

I've got a twin Xeon 5335 VMWare box with 8 GB of RAM that I use for a metric asston of stuff. I'm also batshit insane, but that's not my point...