The other week I had to work on a computer that was pretty much the dirtiest, grossest computer I've ever seen. I took pictures but I don't think they even do it justice as to how gross it was. There was a smell of moldy cinnamon and piss. The texture of the keyboard that I had to touch was sticky and like there was a film of dirt overlaying every key.

The user opened a help desk ticket because the hard drive had seemed to of crashed. Well, no wonder! I didn't get to take a picture of the top of the laptop when closed but apparently, this wasn't only a laptop, but the users coffee coaster as well. I remedied the problem and got the system back up and functioning. Every time I had to touch the keyboard, afterward I would sanitize my hands with some antibacterial lotion.

When the user asked me what I thought went wrong, I bit my tongue and told her "These things happen sometimes... WHEN YOU TREAT YOUR LAPTOP LIKE A KITCHEN TABLE." Well...I didn't say that last part. Honestly, just wow . This was horrible.

I shudder to think of the condition her home is in.

 At least give credit where credit is due (not that I really like to see blog posts duplicated here...).

 http://arod606.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-can-believable.html#links

That is me ...my blog ...

I just didn't want to retype it all ...

what's the biggie ? 

Nice welcome to a newcomer. Thanks a lot for jumping all over me for no reason. 

anmisccali:

Thanks a lot for jumping all over me for no reason. 

 

Um. I didn't jump all over you. I thought it would be nice to link your blog here, seeing as how there is a lot more to the story there, and it is presented nicer. 

 

But apparently we have another uber-sensitive noobie. 

uh huh 

guess so 

anmisccali:

Nice welcome to a newcomer. Thanks a lot for jumping all over me for no reason. 

 

Yeah, you haven't been here too long, have you?  Let me give you a quick lay of the land... It is generally expected to be flamed by MasterPlanSoftware (MPS), morbiuswilters (morb), or others, Don't feel offended, this is how they welcome all newcomers (and veterans).  I should also note that if the post is very short, chances are, you aren't being flamed.  We take a rather perverse pleasure in flaming, so our flame posts tend to be long-ish.  So, if it was short (as is the case here), then it is more than likely that he was just doing a friendly reminder.

Welcome, anmisccali!  Yep, there are a few regulars on here who are, erm, "comedically challenged", shall we say.  Don't know why they spend so much time on a humor site when they lack a sense of humor.  (Actually, maybe they don't even see TDWTF as a "humor site" at all...)  Anyway, welcome. ;-)

As for the computer itself, yeah, that has to be the most disgusting thing I have ever seen.  I have done IT support for dorms and university computer labs, and I have seen some bad keyboards and laptops,  I have even worked at Boy Scout summer camps where it is impossible to stay clean, and the computers there still come out cleaner than this.  Is that peanut butter around that mouse-track?  I can just imagine Comic-Book guy from the Simpsons using this computer.

WeatherGod:

It is generally expected to be flamed by MasterPlanSoftware (MPS), morbiuswilters (morb), or others, Don't feel offended, this is how they welcome all newcomers (and veterans).

We flame for stupid stuff.  Don't want to be flamed?  Don't be stupid.

anmisccali:

Nice welcome to a newcomer. Thanks a lot for jumping all over me for no reason.

Nobody jumped on you.  There was no clear indication that the blog post was yours.  How would you feel if somebody had ripped of your article and posted it somewhere claiming it as their own?  MasterPlanSoftware was just pointing out the original so everybody knew where the content came from.  Now that you clarified that it was your blog, we all know what's up.

 

In regards to your actual content: Thank you for making me not eat lunch today.  If I needed to lose a little weight that might be a good thing, but unfortunately I'm diabetic and will probably slip into a coma and die.  On the other hand, I won't have to share a planet with that thing and whatever sick individual covered it in food stuff, so it's probably for the best.

morbiuswilters:

We flame for stupid stuff.  Don't want to be flamed?  Don't be stupid.

 

Should that be added to the hopefully-soon-to-be sticky post? Probably a good thing for posters to remember.

WeatherGod:

morbiuswilters:

We flame for stupid stuff.  Don't want to be flamed?  Don't be stupid.

 

Should that be added to the hopefully-soon-to-be sticky post? Probably a good thing for posters to remember.

Are you a retard or something? 

morbiuswilters:

WeatherGod:

morbiuswilters:

We flame for stupid stuff.  Don't want to be flamed?  Don't be stupid.

 

Should that be added to the hopefully-soon-to-be sticky post? Probably a good thing for posters to remember.

Are you a retard or something? 

No, I just liked the quote.  Kinda catchy.

Although, come to think of it, given that the message would be for morons, they would likely not read the sticky, because... well... they are morons, thus being completely useless.  However, when morons complain about being flamed, one can't say that it was not made explicit. 

Yeah , I get you now.

 I just didn't like the fact that he had to show that he looked up the picture links and saw that it was from a blog, and point out that was the source. But since he says it was good natured, I won't keep dwelling on it. 

 The worse part was the SMELL. EEK GAD! It was so bad...

One thing that I forgot to add to the post was that when she first gave it to me there was a tattered piece of a lan cable sticking out of the side port. She said it had gotten stuck so she just cut the wire. I pulled it out of there with very little effort. She was just a lazy gross human being. 

 Yeah I figured that since I linked my blog in my profile that it would be apparent, but then again if no one checked my profile then how would they know? No harm done.

 

Sorry about you missing a meal ...just rest assured that this users laptop has been returned on lease so none of us will have to touch it again. Although the poor guys over at IBM probably lost a little weight when they received it back to be refurbed :) 

anmisccali:

Yeah I figured that since I linked my blog in my profile that it would be apparent, but then again if no one checked my profile then how would they know? No harm done.

Sorry about you missing a meal ...just rest assured that this users laptop has been returned on lease so none of us will have to touch it again. Although the poor guys over at IBM probably lost a little weight when they received it back to be refurbed :) 

Another friendly note, please quote the relevant post you are replying to.  Some people receive these as emails and don't see the context.  For other "protips" please see the thread:  http://forums.thedailywtf.com/forums/t/8981.aspx

As for getting it refurbished... wouldn't this count as voiding any sort of warrenty on that thing? 

WeatherGod:

anmisccali:

Yeah I figured that since I linked my blog in my profile that it would be apparent, but then again if no one checked my profile then how would they know? No harm done.

Sorry about you missing a meal ...just rest assured that this users laptop has been returned on lease so none of us will have to touch it again. Although the poor guys over at IBM probably lost a little weight when they received it back to be refurbed :) 

Another friendly note, please quote the relevant post you are replying to.  Some people receive these as emails and don't see the context.  For other "protips" please see the thread:  http://forums.thedailywtf.com/forums/t/8981.aspx

As for getting it refurbished... wouldn't this count as voiding any sort of warrenty on that thing? 

 

Oh, Sorry about that.

 I'm not sure about the exact specifics but they tell us that as long as all the actual pieces of hardware are functioning the company doesn't incur any additional costs. If they received it back with a bad nic card, they would charge the company for replacing the nic card. I don't know about it being dirty and stinky...hehe. You think they would try to get something for it though, since it is so gross and needs to be cleaned up, BIG TIME! 

morbiuswilters:

In regards to your actual content: Thank you for making me not eat lunch today.  If I needed to lose a little weight that might be a good thing, but unfortunately I'm diabetic and will probably slip into a coma and die. 

We should be so lucky. 

....

JUST KIDDING.  Not really.  But ask Dgvid, I simply can't let something like that pass without a snarky reply.  Its because I love you so much, you know.

anmisccali:

One thing that I forgot to add to the post was that when she first gave it to me there was a tattered piece of a lan cable sticking out of the side port. She said it had gotten stuck so she just cut the wire. I pulled it out of there with very little effort. She was just a lazy gross human being. 

Probably tried to yank it out and was stopped by the retaining clip.

Random832:

Probably tried to yank it out and was stopped by the retaining clip.

 

Really?

MasterPlanSoftware:

anmisccali:

Thanks a lot for jumping all over me for no reason. 

 

Um. I didn't jump all over you. I thought it would be nice to link your blog here, seeing as how there is a lot more to the story there, and it is presented nicer. 

 

Right, like you wouldn't have been all "n00b pimping her blog, FAIL" in that case.  Can't you just apologize for being an ass for once?

 

cconroy:

Can't you just apologize for being an ass for once?

 

I wasn't an ass. I made a perfectly valid, on topic reply. You are the one derailing the thread with your meta discussion.

My Savior

anmisccali:

My Savior

 

My savior:

anmisccali:

My Savior

My Savior

morbiuswilters:

anmisccali:

My Savior

My Savior

My Saviors

bstorer:

morbiuswilters:

anmisccali:

My Savior

My Savior

My Saviors

My Savior

MasterPlanSoftware:

cconroy:

Can't you just apologize for being an ass for once?

 

I wasn't an ass. I made a perfectly valid, on topic reply. You are the one derailing the thread with your meta discussion.

 

Sorry, I didn't realize that the topic of the OP was "unfounded flaming about posting etiquette".  Meta-discussion, indeed.

Aw man my post was worse than the hand lotion and kleenex? 

This is too off topic.

Ending... 

anmisccali:

Aw man my post was worse than the hand lotion and kleenex?

 

You could get people in trouble when they work in a company that is very strict on that topic. Naked skin=bad. Hope you understand that.

anmisccali:

Aw man my post was worse than the hand lotion and kleenex? 

All pics should be PM'd to me first for approval.  Especially personal pics.  Especially.

ammoQ:

Naked skin=bad.

 

I just got fired for the poland springs bottle with a post-it on it.

 

Thanks a lot morbiuswilters!

ammoQ:

anmisccali:

Aw man my post was worse than the hand lotion and kleenex?

 

You could get people in trouble when they work in a company that is very strict on that topic. Naked skin=bad. Hope you understand that.

Yep. It needed a NSFW tag and more clothes. 

morbiuswilters:

anmisccali:

Aw man my post was worse than the hand lotion and kleenex? 

All pics should be PM'd to me first for approval.  Especially personal pics.  Especially.

Okay. I'm sending the personal pics right now...

WeatherGod:

We flame for stupid stuff.  Don't want to be flamed?  Don't be stupid.

 

and

morbiuswilters:

Are you a retard or something?

 

I bow my head before such a grandmaster of communication skills.

mustresisturgetousesarkasmtags mustresist....

cconroy:

Can't you just apologize for being an ass for once? 

 

Jeez. Go play with your boyfriend Boitano, moron. There was nothing wrong with MPS's post; I read it and realized exactly what the point of it was.

You were gone from here for quite a while, weren't you? Can't you go back to wherever you were?

Da' Man:

grandmaster of communication skills.

 

I think there's a typo in your user name. Didn't you mean "DumbMan"?

I just love the script kiddie n00bs who post here 10 or 20 times and think they know something.

I have a suggestion, DumbMan. Go back and read the thousands of comments here so you get an idea of who you're communicating with and the level of intelligence that was here before you and the other lolcatz fans showed up and reduced it by half. 

KenW:

There was nothing wrong with MPS's post; I read it and realized exactly what the point of it was.

So did I -- to be an obnoxious twit -- and I called him on it.

KenW:

You were gone from here for quite a while, weren't you? Can't you go back to wherever you were?

1) Stalk much?
2) Gone, no. I just stopped replying for a while after the level of discourse took a nosedive ("Go play with your boyfriend Boitano, moron" being a prime example). You've obviously been around for long enough to have noticed the severe deterioration over the past months. I'm just getting fed up with all the pointless flaming (of which I'm now obviously a part, and am quitting here before we end up with yet another locked thread.)

cconroy:

So did I -- to be an obnoxious twit -- and I called him on it.

You don't honestly think he might have suspected it to be plaugirism?  We've been flooded with not only crappy WTFs lately, but also shit like a single link to a retarded video that was old 3 years ago.  Now people have just started posting other peoples' blog entries so it's believable the OP in this thread might have done that.  However, in this case it was her blog even though it wasn't clear and the WTF actually wasn't so bad.  I mean, not the most stimulating technical conversation, but plenty disgusting and with awesome pics to boot.

 

cconroy:

1) Stalk much?

Come on, everyone knows you haven't posted in awhile.  I could really give a shit if you do or don't and I still noticed.

 

cconroy:

2) Gone, no. I just stopped replying for a while after the level of discourse took a nosedive ("Go play with your boyfriend Boitano, moron" being a prime example).

Whoa, you're married to Brian Boitano?  Sweet!

 

cconroy:

You've obviously been around for long enough to have noticed the severe deterioration over the past months.

Yes, it has deteriorated, but it has nothing to do with the "pointless flaming" and has everything to do with shitty WTFs and idiotic, flamebait comments by n00bs.  Really, do you read the sewage spewed by some of these people?

 

cconroy:

I'm just getting fed up with all the pointless flaming (of which I'm now obviously a part, and am quitting here before we end up with yet another locked thread.)

You pretty much touched off the off-topic flaming in this thread.  You even realize it, but you just can't stand to let it go without commenting on how you're trying to improve things with your baseless attacks.  If you really cared you might notice that no matter how abrupt and rude MPS can be, he's nowhere near the worst poster around here and he usually only calls out people who are acting like idiots.  I honestly don't think you are an idiot, but you surely acted like one here.  Maybe you should take a step back and re-read the thread. 

morbiuswilters:

You don't honestly think he might have suspected it to be plaugirism?

Okay, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that his intentions were honorable. But when it was revealed to be the author's blog, he backpedaled and still managed to insult her. I'm not expecting him to send flowers or anything, but a simple explanation like yours above would have sufficed.

morbiuswilters:

Yes, it has deteriorated, but it has nothing to do with the "pointless flaming" and has everything to do with shitty WTFs and idiotic, flamebait comments by n00bs.

From where I stand I see plenty of both, from n00bs and Top 10 posters alike.

Anyway, I'm done arguing the point. Apologies, everyone, for one more derailed thread.

So much hate.. I like.

MasterPlanSoftware:

anmisccali:

Thanks a lot for jumping all over me for no reason. 

 

Um. I didn't jump all over you. I thought it would be nice to link your blog here, seeing as how there is a lot more to the story there, and it is presented nicer. 

 

But apparently we have another uber-sensitive noobie. 

 

No, we have MPS; and MPS is as MPS does.

Anmisccali, you seem to be a nice person.  MPS is a grumpy codger, who I would probably get along with if he wasn't the BOFH of TDWTF.

Thanks for the post. 

operagost:

MasterPlanSoftware:

anmisccali:

Thanks a lot for jumping all over me for no reason. 

 

Um. I didn't jump all over you. I thought it would be nice to link your blog here, seeing as how there is a lot more to the story there, and it is presented nicer. 

 

But apparently we have another uber-sensitive noobie. 

 

No, we have MPS; and MPS is as MPS does.

Anmisccali, you seem to be a nice person.  MPS is a grumpy codger, who I would probably get along with if he wasn't the BOFH of TDWTF.

Thanks for the post. 

 

Thanks. I'm sorry this sparked so much controversy.

anmisccali:

Yep. It needed a NSFW tag and more clothes. 

Just a little reminder for everyone:

 http://forums.thedailywtf.com/forums/p/7695/143421.aspx#143421

 

 

That laptop is disgusting. Was that person really the owner or did she just find it on a garbage belt or something.

Although those pictures do remind me a bit of that story of a PS3 that was refused to be fixed for free by sony because it had some dust.

Thinking about it, it might have been the same person even.

 

 Ugh, I feel sorry for the poor soul who ever has to properly clean it. I'm always amazed and a little sick whenever I take a keyboard apart and remove the crap under it. That laptop probably has more crap under the keyboard then most others will see throughout their lifetime.

Michael Casadevall:

That laptop probably has more crap under the keyboard then most others will see throughout their lifetime.

As the old saying goes, "a Real Programmer's keyboard contains enough food to sustain him for two weeks".

 best. thread. ever.