I thiunk the site needs some SpectateSwamp Haiku - how about these two:

 

Filming some insects

Thinking they are alien

This is how he thinks

 

Doug does Desktop Search

Code noodles in old VB

Hit Enter! Jam it!

WWWWolf:

Had you written the thing properly, it would have been easier to port to VB.NET; had it been ported to VB.NET, you might have gotten some support from open source developers

What kind of idiot would port that thing to VB.Net?!

Someone did in the old thread. Wish I could remember who.

bstorer:

WWWWolf:

Had you written the thing properly, it would have been easier to port to VB.NET; had it been ported to VB.NET, you might have gotten some support from open source developers

What kind of idiot would port that thing to VB.Net?!

 

Isn't that currently in development with CodeSimian?

 

I agree it is crazy though.

MasterPlanSoftware:

bstorer:

WWWWolf:

Had you written the thing properly, it would have been easier to port to VB.NET; had it been ported to VB.NET, you might have gotten some support from open source developers

What kind of idiot would port that thing to VB.Net?!

 

Isn't that currently in development with CodeSimian?

 

I agree it is crazy though.

 

elgate:

Someone did in the old thread. Wish I could remember who.

 

 

Okay, guys, I'll take the bait...sigh.  This is obviously a sign that I am posting way too much on Swampy's threads....

http://forums.thedailywtf.com/forums/p/8159/159018.aspx#159018 

bstorer:

 Shouldn't be a problem.  I'm actually focusing on something else at the moment.  I hate to promise too much too soon, but how about SSDS ported to VB.net, with the full project files?  And how about an (incredibly massive) deconstruction of the code itself: the way it works, what it does wrong, algorithmic analysis, etc.?

 

(That was only 4 days ago....)  It is funny how Swampy is actually getting pretty much everything he wanted out of this group: attention, publicity and coding effort.

 

Think about it guys... THINK...you are discussingporting a BAD VB application to VB.NET. Furthermore it is pretty well known that GREP (ported to Windows from linux binaries, see UnixUtils an old windows project) already does the same job as SSDS. If you want to implement SSDS correctly, program a front-end to grep and have it work on a single file. This will solve all of SSDS' bugs instantly because grep not working is a hardware failure at this point. Once we have a front-ended grep, we can add w/e commands SS came up with to it later as "features". Best part is you can write this in any language granted that you can execute grep... Hell you can even do one better, just use the language's internal regex... say... java regex, or ruby regex, you won't even have to do much work after that...

 

For extra points just create a script called ssds.cmd which will be compatible with DOS (latest one available) and when executed it will print one line: Do not use this script under any circumstance. Please rethink what you want to do and then get the appropriate program for it.

dlikhten:

Think about it guys... THINK...you are discussingporting a BAD VB application to VB.NET. Furthermore it is pretty well known that GREP (ported to Windows from linux binaries, see UnixUtils an old windows project) already does the same job as SSDS. If you want to implement SSDS correctly, program a front-end to grep and have it work on a single file.

I don't want to implement it correctly.  I want to maintain all the hideously poor design of the original, but in a language people may actually have compilers for.  The correct way to implement SSDS is to download GDS and forget this piece of crap ever existed.

bstorer:

I don't want to implement it correctly.  I want to maintain all the hideously poor design of the original, but in a language people may actually have compilers for. 

 

Right about now, Spectate is weeping uncontrollable tears of joy.  

CodeSimian:

bstorer:

I don't want to implement it correctly.  I want to maintain all the hideously poor design of the original, but in a language people may actually have compilers for. 

 

Right about now, Spectate is weeping uncontrollable tears of joy.  

Good.  Now he'll have one less excuse when nobody wants to use it.

bstorer:

Good.  Now he'll have one less excuse when nobody wants to use it.

 

Yeah, but he is a bit like a doomsday cult leader.  When their prophesied date for the end of the world comes and goes uneventfully, you think they change their belief system?  Nope.  They have invested far too much personally, so they simply rationalize the continued existence of the world by saying "Well, looks like we saved the world after all.  Good job, people.  Too bad those clueless fools in the media will never give us the credit."

In fact, Spectate is exactly like a doomsday cult leader, except he has no followers but the imaginary Swampies in his head.  I'm sure in 2012 he will be bragging about how he saved us all from certain destruction.

Sure, you will deliver a working VB .NET port and Spectate will be ecstatic.  When nobody uses the new version, he will ask for a "skin".  When somebody delivers a "skin" and SSDS doesn't catch on, he will try to ramp up the "marketing" (random spamming).  When that doesn't work, he will blame it on "conspiracies" and "forum plants".

Obviously we would all like to break down Swampy's kryptonite wall of insanity and willful blindness, but I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

(Oh, why can't I stop posting in this thread?)

CodeSimian:

Sure, you will deliver a working VB .NET port and Spectate will be ecstatic.

Maybe if he becomes happy enough he'll have a heart attack?

CodeSimian:

(Oh, why can't I stop posting in this thread?)

It's like a train wreck.

CodeSimian:

Obviously we would all like to break down Swampy's kryptonite wall of insanity and willful blindness, but I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

Why would you want to? Lex Luthor was poisoned due to excessive exposure to kryptonite, so hopefully Doug will succumb to it's radiation, however unlike Lex he doesn't have the income to make that snazzy vest thing that keeps him not dead.

CodeSimian:

Obviously we would all like to break down Swampy's kryptonite wall of insanity and willful blindness, but I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

Believe me, I'm not foolish enough to think I can teach Swampy anything.  I really don't know why I'm doing it, other than I'm really curious as to just how fragmented his logic is.  Although the thought of handing over an updated port of his program that he can't understand does amuse me.

bstorer:

Although the thought of handing over an updated port of his program that he can't understand does amuse me.

 

Yeah, that is pretty amusing.  Too bad Swampy evidently lives by the credo that the key to success is to understand nothing.  (It's like Zen Buddhism for morons!)

Lingerance:

Why would you want to? Lex Luthor was poisoned due to excessive exposure to kryptonite, so hopefully Doug will succumb to it's radiation, however unlike Lex he doesn't have the income to make that snazzy vest thing that keeps him not dead.

Post-Crisis Luthor became President of the United States -- I'd hate to see that happen to Swampy. 

 This thread is still going?

 

 

 

bstorer:

dlikhten:

Think about it guys... THINK...you are discussingporting a BAD VB application to VB.NET. Furthermore it is pretty well known that GREP (ported to Windows from linux binaries, see UnixUtils an old windows project) already does the same job as SSDS. If you want to implement SSDS correctly, program a front-end to grep and have it work on a single file.

I don't want to implement it correctly.  I want to maintain all the hideously poor design of the original, but in a language people may actually have compilers for.  The correct way to implement SSDS is to download GDS and forget this piece of crap ever existed.

Dude, WTF? Why would you spend your time implementing a POS so that anyone can compile it? It should be posted in its unedited entirety all in one page at once with a small dot saying "you are here" with a side-by-side commentary from us about what each line does and how it can be done better. It will be required reading in colleges as to "how to NOT write your programs". After the students bang out their brains trying to understand it there will be a comment "now that you understand it, realize that this program is 100% useless because during design time the author refused to look up how regular expressions work or the concepts of indexing."

Unfortunately the above solution will also have the bug of being an effective torturing device and stealing the recepient's soul. It may wind up being banned in the USA due to the "cruel and unusual punishment" clause in that thing called the constitution.

medialint:

 This thread is still going?

 

And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going... 

bstorer:

CodeSimian:

Obviously we would all like to break down Swampy's kryptonite wall of insanity and willful blindness, but I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

Believe me, I'm not foolish enough to think I can teach Swampy anything.  I really don't know why I'm doing it, other than I'm really curious as to just how fragmented his logic is.  Although the thought of handing over an updated port of his program that he can't understand does amuse me.

 

maybe the whole community could trhow in a hand and make different pieces of the new SSDS?

IMO we should all ignore the current source for ssds and try to reverse engineer the original SSDS and create some freaky monster, optionally even better that the last omg winner, so then swampy could "learn" .net from looking at it, tho delivering something that actually works fine could be fun too.

 

dlikhten:

Unfortunately the above solution will also have the bug of being an effective torturing device and stealing the recepient's soul. It may wind up being banned in the USA due to the "cruel and unusual punishment" clause in that thing called the constitution.

 

I thought that was the real reason for this thing to even exist, oh well..

 

 

dlikhten:

Dude, WTF? Why would you spend your time implementing a POS so that anyone can compile it?

Maybe it's like how the Allies distributed Nazi propaganda during WWII just to show how crazy Hitler really was?

 

Am I the first Godwin? 

morbiuswilters:

Am I the first Godwin? 

In this particular thread, I believe you are. In the general realm of Swampiness, you're not the first...

ZippoLag:

IMO we should all ignore the current source for ssds and try to reverse engineer the original SSDS and create some freaky monster, optionally even better that the last omg winner

I think you're onto something...maybe Desktop Search could be the next OMGWTF contest, and SSDS could be an optional framework that you could start with.

bstorer:

Although the thought of handing over an updated port of his program that he can't understand does amuse me.

I'm hoping that we can give him a link to VB.NET Express, the new source code (in a .txt, of course), and a video on how to set up a project. Then, we tell him to add some noodles and Jam It. I think he might surprise us and actually be able to use it.

Then again, I'm probably just dreaming...

dlikhten:

medialint:

 This thread is still going?

 

And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going...  And going... 

I'll have to dig up more old media. Search out local legend or capture fresh Aliens on video. Things are going good with work on a VB.net version. Once you get the first copy running. You are hooked. Bash it through the various tests. fixing and patching as you go. Wow I'm jealous.. I need a copy of VB.net just to see if I can get it to work there.  Then a C version, Java maybe.

Having this VB5 version around to compare the net version against will be handy. Like what if you build it and dumb dumb old SpectatSwamps version is way faster. Then what?

Soon the swampies will be in control of this thread. The fixes and features they add to SSDS will be spectacular. Once they get the hang of capturing Aliens on video. Then we'll see entertainment

 

SpectateSwamp:

Having this VB5 version around to compare the net version against will be handy. Like what if you build it and dumb dumb old SpectatSwamps version is way faster. Then what?

The two versions will be almost exactly the same.  They'll use the same stupid logic, the same crappy old-school VB error handling, the same bad algorithms.  The only major differences between the two are

1. All the GoSub labels are now separate procedures
2. I have to implement a system to emulate the VB5/6 form painting in GDI.

So unless #2 is significantly slower than VB5's native methods, there will be no appreciable speed difference.

SpectateSwamp:

I'll have to dig up more old media. Search out local legend or capture fresh Aliens on video.

Please don't.

SpectateSwamp:

Things are going good with work on a VB.net version. Once you get the first copy running.

I think (really hope actually) that the .Net version is a bit of a joke - just an attempt to show how poor your application really is.

SpectateSwamp:

You are hooked. Bash it through the various tests. fixing and patching as you go.

Hooked - I doubt it. What 'various tests'? I thought testing was part of a normal development cycle and therefore something you would be against.

SpectateSwamp:

 I need a copy of VB.net just to see if I can get it to work there.

I pity anyone trying to port that mess - would it have really hurt you to use fuctions / subs instead of gosub and return?

SpectateSwamp:

The fixes and features they add to SSDS will be spectacular.

No - people will laugh at it and that will be all. I doubt there will be any serious attempt to improve it...