CodeSimian:

SpectateSoliloquies ?

 

Yep, was hoping for something to denote the fact that it would include clips of attempted conversations....

I've got an idea for a photo mash-up, but I don't have enough 'shop-fu to pull it off.

Take the scene from Dreamcatcher with all of the aliens on the ground and the spaceship in the back, then 'shop in some approaching velociraptors. On top of it, impose the Swampie pic, but make him look like Robert Muldoon:

,

As you know, he is an expert dino and alien hunter.

MasterPlanSoftware:

CodeSimian:

SpectateSoliloquies ?

 

Yep, was hoping for something to denote the fact that it would include clips of attempted conversations....

 

Well, like a few people have pointed out, he really is talking to himself.  He just repeats the same thing over and over again, he never really tries to elicit information from anybody else, and he ignores responses which don't match his narrow view of reality.  The only way to talk to Spectate is act just like him.

The main problem I have with "SpectateSoliloquies" is it isn't very funny.  I think it is fairly accurate, though.

If you can get permission, here is the perfect cartoon to use for that page:

 http://thedailywtf.com/Comments/110-Panic-Ensues.aspx#179448

 I vote for 'Swampologues'. Neither a monologue or a dialogue, it's that special kind of conversation that can only occur in the mind of our favourite SwampThing.

WeatherGod:

MasterPlanSoftware:

Anyone think 'Swampologues' would be funny?

But doesn't the word "dialogue" imply that there is two-way communication?

Monologue.

dabean:

 I vote for 'Swampologues'. Neither a monologue or a dialogue, it's that special kind of conversation that can only occur in the mind of our favourite SwampThing.

 

Exactly!

Maybe we should throw in an explanation of a swampologue on the page...

I rewrote waco.huber's rewrite of the bio...

 

Mr. Doug Pederson AKA SpectateSwamp was born on the 26th July 1948 somewhere in the nether regions of Canada; sadly, little is known about his early life.

For approximately 20 years he worked as a computer programmer utilizing Fortran H, Fortran F, Cobol, and RPG. He picked up BASIC a little later in his life, writing systems for telephone companies, Cable Companies, and Rural Gas companies among others.

While working at a rock quarry in 1972, he happened upon a mid-sized rock with a hole naturally cut through it, but eleven years of obscurity passed before dreams told him it was a very special rock. Later determining that it was an ancient Indian Medicine Stone, he initially attempted to commercialize the rock and profit from it, until the local Indian culture vehemently objected. Ultimately he determined that the rock found him because he was, in actuality, an “Indian Shamen” [sic].

He found additional medicine stones in his frequent wandering throughout the Canadian wilderness and RV parks, and began to use them to curse those companies that disagreed with him; however, despite extreme provocation, he refused to curse individuals. [citation needed]

Somewhere around this time Doug picked up a hobby of video taping everything he came across. He soon came to the realization that just about everything he taped contained evidence of alien life. 'Enlightened' about video further, he soon became convinced that the editing of video serves only to degrade the video as a whole, and vowed to teach the world  not only of the aliens and suspicious crow watching him, but also the evils of video editing - except in order that incriminating evidence be removed. Extroverted in his beliefs, Doug has propgated those thoughts on not only videographers' forums, but also on IT forums.

Whilst working at Weyerhauser in 2000, he made the questionable decision of leaving for New York to curse the UN - reasoning that this should be enough to end the worldwide prohibition of marijuana - of which he has made refernce to being a user, going so far as to call his company 'Tokin' and using the word 'Stoned' in the URL of his homepage. Upon returning to Canada, Doug found himself without a job - experts theorise this was due not only to his suspected drug use, but also to his being batshit insane.

History was made when Spectate Swamp Desktop Search was released as open source; and, though a SourceForge project was initially opened, Doug could not bring himself to upload the source code, nor would he delegate, even to keen helpers, administrative rights to help him in his life-long quest to make SSDS all that it can possibly be. Currently, that would be many thousands of lines of spaghetti code, to which he advocates users 'add a noodle and JAM IT'. Clearly unknowledgable on the subject of propaganda and persuading people, Doug uses 'screen reshoots', calls people he is pitching to 'lazy, and repeats his few ideas continually, without deigning to even consider that there are better methods than his own. Refusing to listen to those who seek to help him, Mr Swamp is often seen taking quotes out of context, and posting nonsense which is both grammatically incorrect and irrelevant to the topic at hand.

Today Doug can be found traveling from internet blog to chat room to any forum that has not yet banned him for life, talking up the greatness that is SSDS, and posting vidoes of videos playing on his computer screen.

 

I hope you like it - however it is somewhat rushed. Feedback is welcomed.

Quick! Somebody go put this in Wikipedia!

jakkle:

Whilst working at Weyerhauser in 2000, he made the questionable decision of leaving for New York to curse the UN - reasoning that this should be enough to end the worldwide prohibition of marijuana - of which he has made refernce to being a user, going so far as to call his company 'Tokin' and using the word 'Stoned' in the URL of his homepage.

 

Spectate already explained that his webspace username/directory name is a truncation of "Stone Dancer", due to limitations imposed by the web hosting service (his ISP, Telus).  I think it's enough that he has admitted on forums and in newspaper articles that he smokes weed. 

I still think it would be interesting to post his claims about the impending armaggeddon in 2012, and the steps he intends to take to save us all.

 yeah i couldnt entirely be bothered to look up all the references and posts themselves - sorry.

 

bloody edit time limit.... 

CodeSimian:

jakkle:

Whilst working at Weyerhauser in 2000, he made the questionable decision of leaving for New York to curse the UN - reasoning that this should be enough to end the worldwide prohibition of marijuana - of which he has made refernce to being a user, going so far as to call his company 'Tokin' and using the word 'Stoned' in the URL of his homepage.

 

Spectate already explained that his webspace username/directory name is a truncation of "Stone Dancer", due to limitations imposed by the web hosting service (his ISP, Telus).  

 

 

my apologies - i thought it was 'stoned and *something*' 

 

thatll teach me 

jakkle:

my apologies - i thought it was 'stoned and *something*' 

 

thatll teach me 

 

No problem.  I figure if we are going to write a non-satirical "bio" of Swampy, it better be factual, otherwise we are just as full of BS as he is. 

Oh, so he's just using "Stone" in the URL of his web page. That's much better.

jakkle:

my apologies - i thought it was 'stoned and *something*' 

 

thatll teach me 

 

I posted what you gave anyway. Someone can fix that in the next revision.

CodeSimian:

No problem.  I figure if we are going to write a non-satirical "bio" of Swampy, it better be factual, otherwise we are just as full of BS as he is. 

 

I agree with this philosophy. 

I am going to let others act as editor though. I will post each revision as long as they don't look awful or something (as in Spectate decides to write his own) and we can keep it going. I think this is pretty cool really.

CDarklock:

Oh, so he's just using "Stone" in the URL of his web page. That's much better.

 

You have obviously not been exposed to the awesome power of the stones.  Without the stones, how would Spectate dance away the End of The World in 2012?  

 bit of a rewrite -hope y'all dont mind

 

Mr. Doug Pederson AKA SpectateSwamp was born on the 26th July 1948 somewhere in the nether regions of Canada; sadly, little is known about his early life.

For approximately 20 years he worked as a computer programmer utilizing Fortran H, Fortran F, Cobol, and RPG. He picked up BASIC a little later in his life, writing systems for telephone companies, Cable Companies, and Rural Gas companies among others.

While working at a rock quarry in 1972, he happened upon a mid-sized rock with a hole naturally cut through it, but eleven years of obscurity passed before dreams told him it was a very special rock. Later determining that it was an ancient Indian Medicine Stone, he initially attempted to commercialize the rock and profit from it, until the local Indian culture vehemently objected. Ultimately he determined that the rock found him because he was, in actuality, an “Indian Shamen” [sic].

He found additional medicine stones in his frequent wandering throughout the Canadian wilderness and RV parks, and began to use them to curse those companies that disagreed with him; however, despite extreme provocation, he refused to curse individuals.

Somewhere around this time Doug picked up a hobby of video taping everything he came across. He soon came to the realization that just about everything he taped contained evidence of alien life. 'Enlightened' about video further, he soon became convinced that the editing of video serves only to degrade the video as a whole, and vowed to teach the world  not only of the aliens and suspicious crow watching him, but also the evils of video editing - except in order that incriminating evidence be removed. Extroverted in his beliefs, Doug has propgated those thoughts on not only videographers' forums, but also on IT forums.

Whilst working at Weyerhauser in 2000, he made the questionable decision of leaving for New York to curse the UN - reasoning that this should be enough to end the worldwide prohibition of marijuana - of which he has made refernce to being a user, going so far as to call his company 'Tokin', which, according to Doug's local paper's 'expert' may have some connection to cannabis.

History was made when Spectate Swamp Desktop Search was released as open source; and, though a SourceForge project was initially opened, Doug could not bring himself to upload the source code, nor would he delegate, even to keen helpers, administrative rights to help him in his life-long quest to make SSDS all that it can possibly be. Currently, that would be many thousands of lines of spaghetti code, to which he advocates users 'add a noodle and JAM IT'. Clearly unknowledgable on the subject of propaganda and persuading people, Doug uses 'screen reshoots', calls people he is pitching to 'lazy, and repeats his few ideas continually, without deigning to even consider that there are better methods than his own. Refusing to listen to those who seek to help him, Mr Swamp is often seen taking quotes out of context, and posting nonsense which is both grammatically incorrect and irrelevant to the topic at hand.

Today Doug can be found traveling from internet blog to chat room to any forum that has not yet banned him for life, talking up the greatness that is SSDS, and posting vidoes of videos playing on his computer screen.

Swampie's future plans are detailed and well established in his mind. Basing his belief on an ancient and little-used calender system, it is Mr Pederson's  conviction that the world is due to end in 2012. Whilst a belief in the world ending imminently would have crushed lesser men, Spectate thinks that due to his self-proclaimed 'Shaman' status and 'magic' stones, he can and will literally 'dance the problem away'. Whether he will be able to do so is yet to be seen.

 

Sorry, but i really want to get this right. 

CodeSimian:

You have obviously not been exposed to the awesome power of the stones.

Well, "Undercover of the Night" was good.

SpectateSwamp:

That crap must be hard to make work. Not easily tested either.  

 

 

Likely, "that crap" is still easier to make work than SSDS (which only you seem to understand), most Wiki software has good documentation.    

Renan_S2:

SpectateSwamp:

That crap must be hard to make work. Not easily tested either.  

 

 

Likely, "that crap" is still easier to make work than SSDS (which only you seem to understand), most Wiki software has good documentation.    

 

 

he doesnt understand it himself - he often talks about how he loves that HIS OWN DAMN PROGRAM does things that he doesnt expect.  Im not surprised though - sane people with above-average intelligence would have a hard time remembering all the abstruse commands - and, lets face it, he doesnt seem to be in the best of mental health.

AbbydonKrafts:

I've got an idea for a photo mash-up, but I don't have enough 'shop-fu to pull it off.

Take the scene from Dreamcatcher with all of the aliens on the ground and the spaceship in the back, then 'shop in some approaching velociraptors. On top of it, impose the Swampie pic, but make him look like Robert Muldoon

Before I even attempt this arduous task, are any of the experts here going to do it? I'd love to see this mash-up.

AbbydonKrafts:

Before I even attempt this arduous task, are any of the experts here going to do it? I'd love to see this mash-up.

WTF just load them into SSDS do a little stone dance and jam it!

 

Fucking n00b.

MasterPlanSoftware:

WTF just load them into SSDS do a little stone dance and jam it!

 

Fucking n00b.

I bet that would have some odd results.. like a morph gone really really bad.

Hate to tell you this, Swampy, but the aliens have graduated from hijacking tobacco leaf fliers and bugs and leaves, and have moved on up to flying lawnmowers. You can stop chasing leaves now and start saluting the guys who try to remotely control those lawnmowers in defiance of the aliens' orders.