rc_pinchey:

one person replies saying every photo posted in the thread was brilliant

One person on a new thread. It took me a week to get my first Swampie here. By now I must have 10 or 12 true Swampies free from geekdom forever and ever. Maybe even longer.

SpectateSwamp:

rc_pinchey:

one person replies saying every photo posted in the thread was brilliant

One person on a new thread. It took me a week to get my first Swampie here. By now I must have 10 or 12 true Swampies free from geekdom forever and ever. Maybe even longer.

 

In this place we like to call the "real world", things aren't true just because they happen in your head or because you say so.  You don't have any swampies here, just people who mocked you for sport. 

Let's pretend you have 10 or 12 swampies, okay?  That's all?  After 9 years?

Wow, so by the time you're six feet underground, you should have 20 or 30 swampies.  Great.  You're really making a difference in the world and making good use of your remaining time on the planet.  Idiot.

CodeSimian:

Wow, so by the time you're six feet underground, you should have 20 or 30 swampies.

Do you reckon that would work the other way round - if he gets 20 or 30 swampies he will end up six feet under?

 

rc_pinchey:

Here's a question- you wrote SSDS in Visual Basic, right? So will you admit that the people who created Visual Basic are better programmers than you?

Oh they were smart alright. Very very smart. But they didn't finish the JOB. I did.

 

SpectateSwamp:

free from geekdom forever and ever. Maybe even longer.

Spectate Marsh must think he's so darn funny. Longer than forever. I'll pretend to laugh. My fellow marshies won't be so nice.

rc_pinchey:

Here's a question- you wrote SSDS in Visual Basic, right? So will you admit that the people who created Visual Basic are better programmers than you?

They were smart very very smart. But they didn't finish the JOB. I did.

So you've quoted a single line of what I've written, out of context, and then continued to respond as if I'd made an entirely different statement? Two can play at that game.

 

SpectateSwamp:

It took me a week to get my first Swampie here.

SpectateSwamp:

Maybe even longer.

It's big of you to admit that you're so unpopular and lacking in influence.

I was also surprised that you responded to my question about how many catastrophic failures SSDS had:

SpectateSwamp:

By now I must have 10 or 12

But the biggest shock was when you finally came clean and admitted how many people had ever used and liked SSDS...

SpectateSwamp:

One person

 

Truly enlightening stuff, please continue. 

SpectateSwamp:

rc_pinchey:

Here's a question- you wrote SSDS in Visual Basic, right? So will you admit that the people who created Visual Basic are better programmers than you?

Oh they were smart alright. Very very smart. But they didn't finish the JOB. I did.

 Correction, you didn't do any job. You did a hobby. When I can buy SSDS off the shelves of Best Buy, then I might think about giving you a little credit. You wouldn't have been able do a darn thing without the people before you. You're a disgrace to this community.

SpectateSwamp:

Oh they were smart alright. Very very smart. But they didn't finish the JOB. I did.

What job did you finish? Please don't say you mean SSDS is the pinacle of software development, also avoid saying jam it as well (ever).

SpectateSwamp:

rc_pinchey:

Here's a question- you wrote SSDS in Visual Basic, right? So will you admit that the people who created Visual Basic are better programmers than you?

They were smart very very smart. But they didn't finish the JOB. I did.

 

You couldn't have written SSDS without them. They DID create Visual Basic without you. So I ask again, will you admit that the people who created Visual Basic are better programmers than you?

pitchingchris:

Spectate Marsh must think he's so darn funny. Longer than forever. I'll pretend to laugh. My fellow marshies won't be so nice.

You got a project in the $100,000 mashup challenge? What is it? I'll vote for you and make a comment just to help out. I'm still a member. I think?

spenk:

What job did you finish? Please don't say you mean SSDS is the pinacle of software development, also avoid saying jam it as well (ever).

Oh Swamp Search isn't done yet. That's for the Swampies. Simple code except for the linewrap and hi-lite logic which has flowcharts. They can easily do it. I'll help them. The Swampies would be the ones laughing at the $100,000 mashup challenge. It would be an easy whip in front of a live audience. Easy Whip

SpectateSwamp:

pitchingchris:

Spectate Marsh must think he's so darn funny. Longer than forever. I'll pretend to laugh. My fellow marshies won't be so nice.

You got a project in the $100,000 mashup challenge? What is it? I'll vote for you and make a comment just to help out. I'm still a member. I think?

 

Spectate, this is getting out of hand.  Normally your non sequiturs are bit more clever than that.  I am seriously worried for your well-being, what with you spending all of your free time videoing leaves and spamming forums, especially at your age.

Thoughtful guy that I am, I took the liberty of entering your details into The Death Clock (thanks for telling us your birthday, BTW).  I estimated your BMI at 28, hope you don't mind.

The results are...well, less than encouraging.  Let's just say, if I were you I would spend more time shooting trapline video, more time shooting up spruce hens and much less time shooting your mouth off in forums:

 

So, whenever you feel like wasting more of everyone's precious time for kicks?  Stroll on over to this site, and remind yourself of what's really important in life:

http://www.deathclock.com/dw.cfm?Day=26&Month=7&Year=1946&Sex=Male&Mode=Normal&bmi=28&smoker=0

 

SpectateSwamp:

I wrote a Desktop Search Engine.

No you didn't.  You wrote a disasterously bad application that does only incredibly simplistic things, but does them with overly complex code.

What have you done that makes the Geek World tremble.

Nothing, just like you.  The difference between us is that you have a tenuous grip on reality which restricts you from coming to terms with this fact.

I must tell you I loved it when I put the line numbers back in. I knew the Geeks would go wild. Pure wild.

Good programmers take pleasure in creating good code.  You delight in intentionally muddling yours.

My major "paradim shifts" came when the users loved what I was doing.

Nothing you have ever done, nor ever will do, even remotely approaches a paradigm shift.  That you think such an abject falsehood is true is just another sad conceit, manufactured by a sick mind to compensate for the harsh juxtaposition of a life of mediocrity against your inflated self-worth.  Users cannot have loved your "paradigm shifts" because they do not exist -- the paradigm shifts or the users.

That's where the real fun in "Data processing" resides.

 

The current thought on data processing -- indeed, the true paradigm shift -- is that user intervention should not be necessary.  Your abortion of a program only further taxes the users' -- were you to have any -- limited time, both by being blatantly cryptic and by warping standard practices into a foul abomination based solely on the nonsensical ruminations of an idiot.

There have been numerous times If they weren't singing songs about me, they were definitely humming a tune.

We have tried logic.  We have tried reason.  Sarcasm, gentle admonishments, and outright hostility, too, have all failed.  You see yourself as Galileo, valiantly standing against a world which wrongly persecutes you.  But, in fact, you have far more in common with the church that persecuted him.  You hold this belief that you have created something worthwhile, let alone earth-shattering, in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

I could tell you some stories because I have nearly 40 years time to collect some. Your stores are dull and boring. Prove to me otherwise.

 

Stories don't come from living a lifetime.  There are a great many people far younger than you or I who no doubt have stories that put ours to shame.  What you consider to be a good story tends to be equal parts incoherent and moronic.  The truth is that you have lived a life where the only happenings of interest were in your own head.

In regards to my stories?  I cannot prove something so terribly subjective to you.  Hell, I can't even prove an objective fact to you.  Your world view goes well past solipsism to outright psychosis.  You live in a deluded fantasy wherein anything and everything you do is of value.  The truth is that nothing you do is of any value to anyone but you.

You are a sick man, Doug Pederson.  Part of me regrets mocking you, because you lack the faculties to adequate defend yourself; your mind is grotesque and terrible.  But another, larger part of me is just fucking tired of you.  I only continue to post in your threads because I derive a perverse pleasure in laughing at you, your life reaffirms the quality of my own, and the inherent schadenfreude generates a comradery this board lacks elsewhere.

I can't profess to be a professional, but I strongly encourage you to seek psychiatric help.  Unfortunately, I am not deluded enough to expect you to act upon, or even understand, the things I've written here, and that makes me surprisingly sad.  At heart, I suppose I'm not a cruel man.  It depresses me to consider that you likely have family members who must face your madness on a continued basis.  I imagine myself in their situation, unable to reach you, to get you the help you so clearly need, and I condole with them.

ahem....

ATTENTION SpectateSwamp. SpectateSpam. YellowHead. Doug. Stoned An. Yes, you!

Let's say I have a dog, the most awesome dog in the world. I enter my DOG in a HORSE show. Will it win? NO. And not because the show's coordinators hate me or don't think my dog's perfect. My dog won't win BECAUSE IT'S NOT A HORSE. If I want my dog to have a fair chance at winning, I should enter it in a DOG SHOW.

Now say I write a wonderful desktop search application. I enter it in NetSquared's WEB APP contest. Will it win? NO. Not because they hate me or don't think my program's any good. No, it's simply because IT'S NOT A WEB APP. If I want my program to be judged on merit, I should enter it in a desktop search-utility contest.

To relate these hypothetical examples to YOU, SpectateSwamp. You write desktop search program. SSDS. You enter it in WEB APP CONTEST. It no win because it NOT WEB APP. Now shut up and either enter it in a contest against similar programs, or make an actual web app to enter in NetSquared.

...also, if you were to port SSDS to C, it would probably do quite well in the IOCCC.

SpectateSwamp:

Oh Swamp Search isn't done yet. That's for the Swampies.

There are no swampies, there never will be swampies. When people offered to help you couldn't even be arsed with the minimal effort required to open a sourceforge project and upload your code. If you had wanted people there was interest for a while - people have actually submitted bug reports for gods sake but you ignored them. 

If you want people to work on the code, if you want to claim open source why not upload the project to sourceforge and let people collaborate on it?

SpectateSwamp:

Simple code except for the linewrap and hi-lite logic which has flowcharts.

The code isn't simple - it is overly complicated and far to messy. Line numbers (or pretend line numbers) and Gosub have been superseded by sub-routines and functions. The flow charts aren't useful to anyone who doesn't already have a deep understanding of the SSDS source either.

SpectateSwamp:

They can easily do it. I'll help them.

THis is not easy code to maintain, you have proved your inability or lack of desire to help by failing to post code to sourceforge so people can contribute. You simply ignore this topic and prattle on about stones and clouds and god knows what else.

SpectateSwamp:

The Swampies would be the ones laughing at the $100,000 mashup challenge.

There are no swampies and you were never going to win the challenge due to the fact you didn't meet the rules. There is no conspiracy or great plan to prevent SSDS getting attention - the software is only suitable and usable by you. It didn't meet the rules, it isn't a mashup

.

SpectateSwamp:

It would be an easy whip in front of a live audience. Easy Whip

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE YOU RETARD.

SpectateSwamp:

I wrote a Desktop Search Engine. What have you done that makes the Geek World tremble.

You're dodging the question - I wasn't asking about applications or society at large, I was asking about programming. Leonardo da Vinci isn't remembered because he painted that one famous painting thing where he didn't quite get the smile right no matter how he tried - he's remembered because he was a freaking genius and made a lot of fascinating and beautiful paintings and inventions and stuff. He had the technique to create multiple great masterpieces. He had the energy to do that. Do you, or are you resting on your laurels? How exactly will you react when the world moves away from Desktop Search and no one is interested of searching the way your amazing application does searching? It could happen! Have you put any thought on that at all? A koan to ponder: "Obsolescence isn't an accident, it's an art form".

Anyway... I can't say that I've made anything significant - but I've actually written something that demonstrably had an audience. I wrote a hack that half of the ordinary every-day Linux geeks seemed to use at one point. Luckily, the hack is long obsolete and we have more flexible tools now, for the exact same purpose - you can't stop the progress. I don't think it made the "Geek World" tremble, but at least it made it a little bit more fun place to live. Fun is good, right?

SpectateSwamp:

I must tell you I loved it when I put the line numbers back in. I knew the Geeks would go wild. Pure wild. My major "paradim shifts" came when the users loved what I was doing.

Ah, so you haven't yet had any such revelations in code level. In fact, you're fighting against such revelations by fleeing from anything that seems hard or new - as I suspected.

But please elaborate: What, exactly, in emulating the line numbers made people love your code? Please don't tell me how they loved your application; I'm talking about the code here.

You see, everyone knows that as long as the interface is flashy enough you can sell people anything; if they specifically look at the code, it's harder and you have to actually write good code. I'm actually pretty embarrassed by the xmms-infopipe code, it was the first program I wrote that uses pipes and I basically released it in "it works for me, ship it!" state. I'm so glad people have fixed some of the most embarrassing issues the code had. (But that's another, higher level revelation - working with others makes your code better.)

joemck:

To relate these hypothetical examples to YOU, SpectateSwamp. You write desktop search program. SSDS. You enter it in WEB APP CONTEST. It no win because it NOT WEB APP. Now shut up and either enter it in a contest against similar programs, or make an actual web app to enter in NetSquared.

The WEB app didn't have to exist. I was hoping to get assistance making SSDS WebWise. At the MashUp I would be demonstrating what the software could currently do: Big screens, Aliens, Dino Mummies and Flashy Swampies. We'd have won.

SpectateSwamp:

joemck:

To relate these hypothetical examples to YOU, SpectateSwamp. You write desktop search program. SSDS. You enter it in WEB APP CONTEST. It no win because it NOT WEB APP. Now shut up and either enter it in a contest against similar programs, or make an actual web app to enter in NetSquared.

The WEB app didn't have to exist. I was hoping to get assistance making SSDS WebWise. At the MashUp I would be demonstrating what the software could currently do: Big screens, Aliens, Dino Mummies and Flashy Swampies. We'd have won.

So you entered your dog into a horse show, so you could show off your dog's tricks, hoping that someone would turn your dog into a horse later on.

Dear Mr. Pederson,

My name is Agent Smith and I'm working for the SSS (Super Secret Service - yes President Bush Sr. really was that unimaginative). That you haven't heard of us before should be proof enough of our secrecy.  This post can and will only be read by you, for we have infiltrated this site, and in fact the whole internet. We thought nobody would notice, but apparently you did. You're also slowly finding out what's going on on the interplanetary level.

We would be worried about all that and we were thinking of ending your investigations once and for all. 

 But now, we need your help, because you have something we desperately need. It appears that what you think is of Indian descent, is, in fact, of highest importance to the government of LMAO-47. We've had friendly relations so far (and you seem to have observed some of their ambassador's visits), but they are now threatening with total destruction.

Mr. Pederson, we need your magic stones. We'll give you time until April 3rd to deliver them to our Alberta office, otherwise we'll come and get them.

Our Alberta office is located within the Edmonton International Airport. Go into the Starbucks in the South Terminal and ask the Janitor (you need to phrase this exactly) "Do you sell Alien Coffee?". He will then answer "What?" and you're allowed to enter the backroom,  where Agents Jones and Brown will await you.

 The future of all of us lies in your hands, Mr Pederson.

Agent Smith

 p.s. This message will self-delete in 72 hours.

rc_pinchey:

So you entered your dog into a horse show, so you could show off your dog's tricks, hoping that someone would turn your dog into a horse later on.

Yeah but it was pure silly of them to notify me that I was excluded. They could have just led us Swampies on. Making the final 20 could have been very tuff...

SpectateSwamp:

The WEB app didn't have to exist. I was hoping to get assistance making SSDS WebWise.

SSDS is fundamentally atool for searching a single file, this is never going to work on the internet. When people offered assistance you couldn't be arsed setting up sourceforge so people could help - stop claiming you are after help when you are doing nothing more than pushing your piece of shit software.

SpectateSwamp:

At the MashUp I would be demonstrating what the software could currently do

Search a single file; nothing to do with the contest rules.

SpectateSwamp:

Big screens, Aliens, Dino Mummies and Flashy Swampies. We'd have won.

Yet again you are spouting nonsense that has toss all to do with the questions you are being asked.

SpectateSwamp:

Yeah but it was pure silly of them to notify me that I was excluded. They could have just led us Swampies on. Making the final 20 could have been very tuff...

You didn't meet the entry requirements!!!! hat the fuck did you expect????

spenk:

SSDS is fundamentally atool for searching a single file, this is never going to work on the internet.

A GoTo or two could be added to the Merge option whereby the data would be searched instead of merged. Any Swampie can make that enhancement. That's the beauty of this program. Put a noodle or 2 in the code and Magic happens. Jam it till it's right. For me the whole directory process is just slow. So I would never use that feature.

 

spenk:

spouting nonsense that has toss all to do with the questions you are being asked.

How come I have to answer all the questions. How come?

 

SpectateSwamp:

rc_pinchey:

So you entered your dog into a horse show, so you could show off your dog's tricks, hoping that someone would turn your dog into a horse later on.

Yeah but it was pure silly of them to notify me that I was excluded. They could have just led us Swampies on. Making the final 20 could have been very tuff...

 

So what you wanted was for them to disqualify your dog, but not tell you that it was disqualified, so you could show off your dog's tricks. Then, when the judges give you zero marks because your dog isn't a horse, and the audience don't applaud (and some get angry) because they see a dog in the horse show, you would leave, happy, in last place.

SpectateSwamp:

spenk:

spouting nonsense that has toss all to do with the questions you are being asked.

How come I have to answer all the questions. How come?

 

You're the one who started the thread, talking about YOUR application. Also, you never ASK anyone else any questions. 

SpectateSwamp:

A GoTo or two could be added to the Merge option whereby the data would be searched instead of merged.

The point is nobody other than you understands the code enough to do this change while you seem to have no interest in doing so or providing a decent way for others to contribute (i.e. sourceforge).

SpectateSwamp:

Any Swampie can make that enhancement. That's the beauty of this program.

There are no swampies. It has been stated many times that your code is far too messy and unmaintainable for anyone to make these changes. The program has no beauty - either as the code level, it's interface or behaviour.

SpectateSwamp:

Put a noodle or 2 in the code and Magic happens. Jam it till it's right.

Please stop spouting utter shit with no meaning or relevance. WTF does put a noodle or 2 in the code actually mean? Jam it it a phrase that means fuck all, stop repeating it as if it means something and explains anything.

SpectateSwamp:

For me the whole directory process is just slow. So I would never use that feature.

What directory process? WTF are you on about?

 

SpectateSwamp:

How come I have to answer all the questions. How come?

You keep starting these threads, you make spurious claims. When people question you then you are the only one in a position to answer. Nobody else alive uinderstands you are your stance in life.

 

 

SpectateSwamp:

spenk:

SSDS is fundamentally atool for searching a single file, this is never going to work on the internet.

A GoTo or two could be added to the Merge option whereby the data would be searched instead of merged. Any Swampie can make that enhancement. That's the beauty of this program. Put a noodle or 2 in the code and Magic happens. Jam it till it's right. For me the whole directory process is just slow. So I would never use that feature.

 

:Consults SwampToEnglish dictionary:

It appears you are attempting to convey that searching multiple files in SSDS would be unusably slow.   But I thought SSDS was fast fast fast.  Maybe you do not need to search multiple files, but normal people do.  Like spenk said, a web app cannot get away with searching single file.

Can you imagine using a version of google that could only search one URL (web address) at a time?  You wouldn't be able to find anything.

SpectateSwamp:

Yeah but it was pure silly of them to notify me that I was excluded. They could have just led us Swampies on.

Right.  Similarly:

• If I run for federal office and lose the election, I don't think I should be informed.  The people would be better served if every candidate thinks he/she won the election.
• If I apply for a job and I don't meet the qualifications, I should not be informed.  I should sit by the phone until the world ends in 2012 waiting for that highly-anticipated callback.
• If I am fired from my job, nobody should tell me.  I should be allowed to come into the office every day under the illusion that I still have a job.  (Yes, I have seen Office Space.)
• In professional ice hockey, the final score should be concealed from the losing team.  It would be bad for the players' fragile egos to know that they lost a hockey game.
• In the Olympics, the final results and medal ceremonies should be kept secret from the competitors.  Nobody needs to know who was disqualified, or who won gold, silver, bronze.

SpectateSwamp:

Making the final 20 could have been very tuff...

But you were already excluded, so it would've been impossible.  "Winning the contest sure would be tuff seeing as I've already lost!" :facepalm:

SpectateSwamp:

 

spenk:

spouting nonsense that has toss all to do with the questions you are being asked.

How come I have to answer all the questions. How come?

 

• I am looking for a job.  How come I have to go to all the interviews?  How come?  Potential employers should come to my house.  I should interview them.
• I am running in the federal election.  How come I have to do all the campaigning? How come?  The electorate should campaign to me - they should explain to me why I should serve them.
• I am trying to lose weight.  How come I have to do all the dieting and exercise?  How come?  Skinny people should eat more, so I don't look so chubby in comparison to them.

SpectateSwamp:

I wrote a Desktop Search Engine.

 

 

For the n-th time, where n grows up to infinite:

 YOUR PROGRAM IS NOT A DESKTOP SEARCH, DAMMIT. Get over it.    

spenk:

SpectateSwamp:

Put a noodle or 2 in the code and Magic happens. Jam it till it's right.

Please stop spouting utter shit with no meaning or relevance. WTF does put a noodle or 2 in the code actually mean? Jam it it a phrase that means fuck all, stop repeating it as if it means something and explains anything.

It refers to adding more spaghetti to the spaghetti code, obviously. (100% chance Spectate won't realize what I'm talking about and will think I'm comparing SSDS' quality to delicious, delicious spaghetto)

Mister Pederson... those SSS people think they're clever, but I'm currently at their remote secret office in Berlin, hacking their servers. I just wanted to confirm that suspicion I had, that you're the victim of an international conspiracy, and I was right! I've not the time, they'll capture me soon. So I'm going to be fast. Please read closely. We from BFBGU (Behörde Für Besonders Geheime Untersuchungen), which is a very secret BND group, have been watching SSS for some time now, and at this time we are sure that they are responsible for various terrorist attacks that they claimed to have been performed by Al Qaeda terrorists. They're extremely dangerous. You should consider it a good sign that they are asking you to come to them, because that means they haven't already found you. Because if they do, you won't have much more time to live. I don't have to mention what will happen when you bring them the stone. Right now, this forum is most likely their best informational source about you, so if you care about your life, you should immediately stop visiting it. I'm writing from a random account I hacked, I'm not the one who normally uses this account - so don't try to contact me. If it works, you are again the only one who will be seeing this message, but I'm not into their system too well, so I'm not sure - Okay I must discontinue, they found out I'm here

spenk:

Please stop spouting utter shit with no meaning or relevance. WTF does put a noodle or 2 in the code actually mean? Jam it it a phrase that means fuck all, stop repeating it as if it means something and explains anything.

Noodles for spaghetti code. Just one or 2 of these noodles winding its way through the search logic can completely change the results. From a Merge to a file by file search. I should do it just to make this forum happy. Slow but happy. "Jam it" Cable system conversions were always a rush to get the program to run for the first time. Any results were acceptable. Let the computer kick out the errors. Make a quick change and jam it again and again. That would always get results fast. And it's a fun way to go about it. When strange data was sent for the first time. Try one data format then the next and the next till you hit the one that worked. There were only 6 or 8 numeric formats that the PDP/Vax systems used. Try them all. Just jam it. You'd get the answer in minutes. Quicker than if you went looking for a manual.

That's what I'd like to see Swampies do. Activate a print or form header change. Follow the logic through. Be ready with Crtl/Alt/Delete if there is a run away. Jam it, Change it. When you have a search that will find any line. And a program that can run in the background. How hard would it be to add a line or two so that under certain situations in the (background) search and replace option; the program checks and updates a balance field. A quick little total update. Or just use NotePad. Throw most of Source away and only use the Hi-Light and line wrap logic. Strip it down and rebuild it to conform with good programming practices if you like. But do it 1 quick step at a time. Once you have a program that is working. Make fast changes (additions or removals) and jam it, change it and jam it again. 

 Any of you grade 8'ers out there should be able to handle this challenge.

 

 

 

derula:

Mister Pederson... those SSS people think they're clever, but I'm currently at their remote secret office in Berlin, hacking their servers. I just wanted to confirm that suspicion I had, that you're the victim of an international conspiracy, and I was right! I've not the time, they'll capture me soon. So I'm going to be fast. Please read closely. We from BFBGU (Behörde Für Besonders Geheime Untersuchungen), which is a very secret BND group, have been watching SSS for some time now, and at this time we are sure that they are responsible for various terrorist attacks that they claimed to have been performed by Al Qaeda terrorists. They're extremely dangerous. You should consider it a good sign that they are asking you to come to them, because that means they haven't already found you. Because if they do, you won't have much more time to live. I don't have to mention what will happen when you bring them the stone. Right now, this forum is most likely their best informational source about you, so if you care about your life, you should immediately stop visiting it. I'm writing from a random account I hacked, I'm not the one who normally uses this account - so don't try to contact me. If it works, you are again the only one who will be seeing this message, but I'm not into their system too well, so I'm not sure - Okay I must discontinue, they found out I'm here

 

Thanks for the heads up DerulaSwamp. Or whoever you are. I'll keep my camcorder and Axe handy. Anyway at my age. They would be saving me from a trip to the Old Folks Home.

I had better get back to my spook forum and post a couple Speck flyer videos. Later...

 

SpectateSwamp:

Noodles for spaghetti code. Just one or 2 of these noodles winding its way through the search logic can completely change the results. From a Merge to a file by file search. I should do it just to make this forum happy. Slow but happy. "Jam it"

As I suspected - it means you are a moron who cannot string a sentence together or hold a coherent thought in his head.

SpectateSwamp:

And a program that can run in the background. How hard would it be to add a line or two so that under certain situations in the (background) search and replace option; the program checks and updates a balance field. A quick little total update.

Ahhh, more nonsense. I have a three year old son who can string words together with better structure. Quite frankly I would trust him more to develop software as well.

SpectateSwamp:

Or just use NotePad.

It is far superior to SSDS so most people would anyway.

SpectateSwamp:

Throw most of Source away and only use the Hi-Light and line wrap logic. Strip it down and rebuild it to conform with good programming practices if you like. But do it 1 quick step at a time.

Nobody would even be able to find this supposed logic in your source anyway. Even if they did it is so tied to global variables etc. that it would be easier to write it from scratch than figure out your code....

 

If there is any real desire on your part to justify these things I would love you to explain

1. Why you feel line numbers are needed
2. What you have against functions and subroutines
3. Why you feel punctuation is a wild and experimental thing.
   

 

 

 

Be ready with Crtl/Alt/Delete if there is a run away.

SpectateSwamp:

Activate a print or form header change. Follow the logic through. Be ready with Crtl/Alt/Delete if there is a run away. Jam it, Change it. When you have a search that will find any line. And a program that can run in the background. How hard would it be to add a line or two so that under certain situations in the (background) search and replace option; the program checks and updates a balance field. A quick little total update. Or just use NotePad. Throw most of Source away and only use the Hi-Light and line wrap logic. Strip it down and rebuild it to conform with good programming practices if you like. But do it 1 quick step at a time. Once you have a program that is working. Make fast changes (additions or removals) and jam it, change it and jam it again.

 

We'll be back with more of Programming for the Mentally Disabled right after these messages...

Also, isn't it really sad that the two features he's most proud of are line-wrapping and highlighting? 

This "Bug"? came onto the stack walked around the base part way. Up the stack to the top. Then off to the right a bit before flying away. All in under 2 seconds. WTF if it was in a HURRY. and BloodThirsty. It would be up your arm and in your ear before you knew it. See frames 1:30.06 thru 1:31.25 on the original video:

66Mb file

http://www.archive.org/details/demo76-pict11

bstorer:

Also, isn't it really sad that the two features he's most proud of are line-wrapping and highlighting? 

Sure, but if you point out that lots of free editors support line-wrap (multi-line search, I think) and highlighting, he will respond: "But can they do RANDOM? Can they play music, video and pictures?"  If you tell him that most media players can do this, he will reply: "But can they search with line-wrapping and highlighting?"

Really, Spectate will not rest until everyone is using his One True Application.

bstorer:

You are a sick man, Doug Pederson.  Part of me regrets mocking you, because you lack the faculties to adequate defend yourself; your mind is grotesque and terrible.

 

bstorer:

We'll be back with more of Programming for the Mentally Disabled right after these messages...

 

That sure was a brief outbreak of compassion.  I kinda think most mentally disabled people would be ashamed to be associated with Spectate, though.

SpectateSwamp:

[INCONTROVERTIBLE PROOF OF EXTRATERRESTRIAL INTELLIGENCE SNIPPED]

This "Bug"? came onto the stack walked around the base part way. Up the stack to the top. Then off to the right a bit before flying away. All in under 2 seconds. WTF if it was in a HURRY. and BloodThirsty. It would be up your arm and in your ear before you knew it. See frames 1:30.06 thru 1:31.25 on the original video:

66Mb file

http://www.archive.org/details/demo76-pict11

 

Let's pretend that is a picture of an alien for a few minutes.  What would you like us to do about it?  Obviously nobody is deriving any enjoyment from looking at those pictures, so what else do you expect from us?  Notify the government?  Contact the media? Lock ourselves in the basement and wait for the end?  Really, you are capable of doing all of those things on your own, so I'm not sure why you are showing us these pics.

Unless...could it be?  Yes, you are an intentionally-annoying attention whore.   When your threads get locked and/or you get banned, you will start crying about conspiracies.   Well, you might want to consider a few similar situations:

• If you tease a bear, it is not a conspiracy if you get mauled
• If you falsely yell "fire" in a crowded theatre, it is not a conspiracy if you get arrested
• If you go skydiving without a parachute over Lake Superior, it is not a conspiracy if you drown.  (You are welcome to give this one a shot.)

SpectateSwamp:

Noodles for spaghetti code. Just one or 2 of these noodles winding its way through the search logic can completely change the results. [...] Let the computer kick out the errors. Make a quick change and jam it again and again. That would always get results fast. And it's a fun way to go about it. When strange data was sent for the first time. Try one data format then the next and the next till you hit the one that worked.

 

I think I get it now.  I understand his code delusion.  He's a tinkerer that never grew out of it.

In the mid/late 90s, just as the internets were coming into their own, I became part of a fansite that happened to use good old Matt's WWWBoard.  I was curious about how it worked, but the code was incomprehensible to me at the time.  I only knew enough HTML to shoot myself in the foot, and not a bit of Perl.  Alas, the irresponsible host got their server hacked, and the entire site was basically lost.  We switched to newer, niftier, less Matt-tastic software.  Unlike WWWBoard though, this one had official support forums, including one for "code hacks."  The author encouraged members of the community to modify the software and post their changes.

This piqued my interest, and I dove in head-first.  I still didn't know a single bit of Perl, but through reading what others did to the code, and actively tinkering with it myself, I soon figured out the gist of things.  I published a dozen or so "hacks" for the code, some tiny one or two liners, some huge paragraphs of code to add some weird feature.  I did things that nobody in their right mind would ever consider.  (I still have a few of the snippets.  They make my blood run cold, they're that awful...)

Two years later, it ended up getting me hired by the company that created the software, to take over development.

It took me years to get out of the tinkerer mindset.  Indeed, the cowboy coder, hacker, twiddler, one-line-change-right-before-release, "who needs testing?" side of me ended up causing a huge amount of trouble.  There was no mentoring, no software development lifecycle, no specifications process, no code review, minimal concepts of testing and QA.  In fact, I only ever got code feedback from the minority of end-users that happened to be code hackers, and none of them raised an eyebrow at some of the WTF-worthy crap I coded over the years.   It ended up as a contributing factor in the demise of the product and my job.

Swamp never got past that critical phase.  He still lives in the bubble of irresponsible coding.  Everything is a quick little hack.  Who cares if it doesn't work exactly right the first time the end-user uses it?  Worse, he IS the end-user!  Who cares about specifications when you have the entire thing in your head?  Who cares about code reuse and sanity when you know the whole codebase backwards and forwards?

Without some major situational changes, I doubt that this code outlook on life will never change.  He'd basically have to be hired somewhere as a junior dev or an intern or something, and be shown how the real world works.  Even then, he'd prolly reject it all as useless, time-wasting fluff, because he thinks he knows exactly what he's doing.  

Charles Capps:

I think I get it now.  I understand his code delusion.  He's a tinkerer that never grew out of it.

 

Right!  That also explains the conspiracy theories, magical medicine stones, doomsday predictions, alien sightings and incessant spamming of wikis, message boards, and blogs!

Seriously, this man has more serious problems than simply being a "tinkerer".  Most tinkerers and amateurs are able to honestly assess the value of their work.  Most hobbyists do not go around telling everyone that they created the "most powerful application on the planet".

Bifi:

It's just that I can help but think that he will even fail the turing test.

 

What a co-inky-dink! 

http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20080330.html

(Scott Adams draws Dilbert months in advance.) 

 

SpectateSwamp:

This "Bug"? came onto the stack walked around the base part way. Up the stack to the top. Then off to the right a bit before flying away. All in under 2 seconds. WTF if it was in a HURRY. and BloodThirsty. It would be up your arm and in your ear before you knew it. See frames 1:30.06 thru 1:31.25 on the original video:

66Mb file

http://www.archive.org/details/demo76-pict11

So the point is that you have filmed a bug? Is this a special alien conspiracy bug or just a regular bug?

I know this has been asked before but I live in hope - why do you insist on posting 60M+ files at nearly two and a half minutes when the 'interesting' part is less than two seconds? If you want to show two seconds of video then upload two seconds of video. It is simple really. Even allowing for a couple of seconds either side it would still only requre about six seconds (or less than 1/20th of the video you uploaded). 

Given how you keep mentioning your slow bandwidth (i.e. couldn't download the source for the previous suggested challenge) I would think only uploading a usefull 3M file rather than a useless 60M file would make sense. A cynical person might begin to think you simply didn't want to accept the previous challenge and bandwidth was the best excuse you could think of....

CodeSimian:

If you tell him that most media players can do this, he will reply: "But can they search with line-wrapping and highlighting?"

But can they capture aliens. Can they? Swamp Search does. You know things are cooking when your program provides surprises. In pool hall terms - Going unconscious. Swamp Search can find anything. anything.... That's how your share and colloborate. First you have to find.

 

SpectateSwamp:

But can they capture aliens. Can they? Swamp Search does. You know things are cooking when your program provides surprises. In pool hall terms - Going unconscious. Swamp Search can find anything. anything.... That's how your share and colloborate. First you have to find.

 

SSDS can search a single text file - that is all. It does not allow people to share information, it certainly isn't anything to do with collaboration (this seems to be your new claim). It can only play videos and mp3s because media player is installed. It only has your super slow slow super slow mode because media player itself can playback at variable rates. It can only find video files if you have already manually built an index of them!

It cannot find anything, it will only find things in a single file - a file you already need to know the location of. Software that provides surprises is usually a sign of poorly written software - if you do not know how it is going to behave then this is a problem, not a feature.

Duplication prevention bot has detected gross violations of the "don't repeat yourself" rule. You are advised to stand by until threat assessment is finalized and postemptive measures for thread participants to undergo are settled upon. This operation may take several days to complete due to undecidable grammar of parts of the source material, although preliminary results indicate that preferred mitigation will involve thermo-rectal therapy as well as prolonged exposure to the cerebral readjustment circuit at the Whitecourt branch of the Duplication Prevention Rehabilitation Centre. Thank you for cooperation. Also remember that any attempt to mount a denial of service attack on the bot will only increase severity of the duplication alleviation. Best luck.

SpectateSwamp:

CodeSimian:

If you tell him that most media players can do this, he will reply: "But can they search with line-wrapping and highlighting?"

But can they capture aliens. Can they? Swamp Search does.

 

Good lord, nobody can be this stupid.  Let's just pretend you have a video or two of an alien.  Do you realize that it's your CAMCORDER that "captured aliens", not SSDS?  Do you understand the difference between recording video and playing video?

Before you make some stupid claim about "super slow motion", might I remind you that lots of video players can do slow motion, pause, and frame-by-frame stepping.

And you are contradicting your claims in another thread, you trollish liar:

http://www.daniweb.com/forums/post349527-9.html

SpectateSwamp:

Strange strange video artifacts. Who's capturing them?

... 

You can download the originals and take a more serious look if
you have video editing software.

http://www.daniweb.com/forums/post349543-11.html 

 

SpectateSwamp:

My custom player does a reasonable job of slowing down the action. But I must agree that editors do have a purpose in "better viewing of digital artifacts"

 

There you go, you liar.  In this thread, you said that SSDS helps you find aliens.  In the other thread, you said others can find aliens using VIDEO EDITING SOFTWARE.  

In other words, NOBODY NEEDS SSDS TO FIND ALIENS, ACCORDING TO YOU.

So why do we need SSDS again? 

SpectateSwamp:

But can they capture aliens. Can they? Swamp Search does.

 

Ah, ok, let's see some pictures of the alien you've captured then. Do you keep it in a box or a jar?

 

You insane gobshite. 

CodeSimian:

 

bstorer:

You are a sick man, Doug Pederson.  Part of me regrets mocking you, because you lack the faculties to adequate defend yourself; your mind is grotesque and terrible.

 

bstorer:

We'll be back with more of Programming for the Mentally Disabled right after these messages...

That sure was a brief outbreak of compassion.  I kinda think most mentally disabled people would be ashamed to be associated with Spectate, though.

 

Like I said, part of me regrets it.  Another, larger part of me realizes that nothing I say has any effect whatsoever on him.