Axe advert



  • Actually, the 'if' statement never runs, because nobody could understand such nonsense code.

    [img]http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2009/2219323357_297a314ee8.jpg[/img]



  • please tell me that's not a real ad.  The ironic thing is that people that can't program can understand it, but it's obviously garble gook code that won't compile, and even if it did, it wouldn't do anything.



  • if ( you.understand(this) ) { you.need("a girlfriend") }

    perhaps more valid?



  • if (you == write_ads_like.this) {

        get.a.programming.book;



  •  "If you are reading this, I got paid for it already, so I don't really care what you think"



  • if ( you.isDebating(this) && you.isUsing("internet") )
    {
        you.incGeekynes();
    }

     What's pretty funny though is they clearly used some sort of programmers text editor since 'this' got hightlighted... I'm guessing it maybe intentionaly bad code to weed out the real geeks. :P



  • Haw. The font is Monaco 9pt with certain bits in bold, which is obviously a Mac font, but the cursor is unmistakably Windows. What a bunch of losers. Am I right dudes?



  • @db2 said:

    Haw. The font is Monaco 9pt with certain bits in bold, which is obviously a Mac font, but the cursor is unmistakably Windows. What a bunch of losers. Am I right dudes?
     

    Yeh - I hope somebody got fired for that blunder! 



  • @db2 said:

    Haw. The font is Monaco 9pt with certain bits in bold, which is obviously a Mac font, but the cursor is unmistakably Windows. What a bunch of losers. Am I right dudes?

    Without booting my OS X box, I am not sure. Comparing with OS 9's Monaco, it's almost right, except that the braces are slightly different -- the vertical centre point is one pixel longer in the ad. I don't know if Apple butchered the font slightly in the move to X? (I think being able to spot that makes me in greater need of a girlfriend than being able to "understand" (for an undefined and somewhat twisted level of understanding) the provided code...)

    The cursor is definitely the bog standard Windows hand cursor, but they missed the pointer shadow off! Losers.



  •  That should of course have been:

     

    10 R442 = UNDERSTAND(THIS)

    20 IF R442 = 0 GOTO 40

    30 CALL GET($GIRLFRIEND)

    40 END

      

    or

     

    (COND

      ((TOOK YOU TIME (READ THIS))

        (WATCH YOU ADVERTS (MUCH TOO)))

      (T NIL))

     

    or

     

    get(girlfriend) :- understand(you, this).

     

    or

     

    ...

     

    It is clear that these peope have no idea about programming, nor about getting a message across. They seem to try to say that nerds (i.e. anyone who is not scared off by two parentheses) should get a girlfriend. However, the implication is wrong, since it also says: don't get a girlfriend if you can't understand this, whereas I think that every straight man/homosexual woman should get one.

     

    And what is the relation with deodorant? Shouldn't the message be: if (sweat(you)) use(AXE); 

    But since they are adding the innuendo "use(AXE) => more(SEX)", aren't they saying that only sweaty people get laid? Bizarre, bizarre... 



  •  On behalf of the technical staff of that company (even if I don't work there) I'd like to say:

    Thank you Axe for making fun of the IT crowd, although I think this would be even funnier if somehow your IT department had the authority to take back you PCs and replace them with typewriters and sketchboards. Since programmers are such geeks let us relieve you of our presence and let you return to simpler times. When you grow tired of using regular mail and looking for your files in a room high filling cabinet we'll talk again.



  • @TGV said:

    And what is the relation with deodorant? Shouldn't the message be: if (sweat(you)) use(AXE); 

    But since they are adding the innuendo "use(AXE) => more(SEX)", aren't they saying that only sweaty people get laid? Bizarre, bizarre... 

    In the UK, Axe goes by the (far cooler) name of Lynx. The advertising claims are generally along the lines of spray deodorant (as much into air as on oneself), smell attracts some large number (from a few to a few thousand) of women.

    So I presume the point of this ad is; if you're a geek, you'll get a girlfriend if you use Axe.



  • @TGV said:

    (COND

      ((TOOK YOU TIME (READ THIS))

        (WATCH YOU ADVERTS (MUCH TOO)))

      (T NIL)) 

    If Yoda was a robot, this is how he would be programmed.



  • @PhillS said:

    @TGV said:

    (COND

      ((TOOK YOU TIME (READ THIS))

        (WATCH YOU ADVERTS (MUCH TOO)))

      (T NIL)) 

    If Yoda was a robot, this is how he would be programmed.

     

     

    Maybe all this time Yoda has been speaking in LISP and it took until now for somebody to figure it out.



  • I already have a wife, but if Axe thinks I need a girlfriend too, who ami I to argue?



  • @m0ffx said:

    So I presume the point of this ad is; if you're a geek, you'll get a girlfriend if you use Axe.

    Maybe I'm the only person on this planet who finds smelling fragrances invasive, even when they do smell nice (most perfume just plain stinks). So attracting a mate in this fashion would be a rather strange course of action for me.

    I also wonder whether the AXE men really knew what they thinking. If they attract themselves a woman using fragrance (let's assume for a moment that this actually ever works for anyone), it wouldn't be too bad. Geeks aren't very technical or intense, and probably wouldn't terrorise the girl too much.

    But for nerds? Imagine the horror they'd be inflicting on women if the nearest one in scent range latched on. Nerds (I count myself among them) are pretty intense and I don't see how a relationship with a normal girl would even work. Maybe AXE also contains mind-altering substances that affect both parties so for the first (and hopefully not the only) time in their lives, they will have something in common (whatever that might be) and don't act like two facing north poles...



  • I think we are missing the point.... Since the code is very bad, I don't understand it. Therefore, I don't need to get a girlfriend. (My wife will be happy to hear that).



  • Oo a new forum bug.

    After I wrote my reply, a page comes up saying "Last post by Daniel Beardmore" and then shows a reply by the king. WTF ... if it tells me that I wrote a post, then the page isn't cached and was in fact regenerated, so why doesn't the post it speaks of, actually show up? Doh



  • @Daniel Beardsmore said:

    Oo a new forum bug.

    After I wrote my reply, a page comes up saying "Last post by Daniel Beardmore" and then shows a reply by the king. WTF ... if it tells me that I wrote a post, then the page isn't cached and was in fact regenerated, so why doesn't the post it speaks of, actually show up? Doh

    The bug could be because I edited my post after you made your post.  The software's too stupid.


  • @Daniel Beardsmore said:

    Maybe I'm the only person on this planet who finds smelling fragrances invasive, even when they do smell nice (most perfume just plain stinks). So attracting a mate in this fashion would be a rather strange course of action for me.

    My observation is that most people use them as an alternative to washing. They're concealment, nothing more.



  • @PerdidoPunk said:

    Maybe all this time Yoda has been speaking in LISP and it took until now for somebody to figure it out.

    Funny, he doesn't sound anything like Barbara Walters...

    --

    (Someone sneaked in here and changed up the quoting mechanism for the forum...did this just happen in the last few days or am I just that oblivious? Also, the wysiwyg text-editor seems to be gone. Markup only now, I suppose. )



  • You can tell everything these days is all in the advertising. Whether it be perfume, computers, or food. Besides, two people need more than good perfume to sustain a meaningful relationship. Theres not to say that there aren't wild people that won't get hooked up over nothing, but to make it last, its going to take more than axe perfume.  I agree what makes this add worse is that it is unusable code.  Even though VB will allow you to exclude the (), it doesn't use curly braces. And this is a keyword in C type languages.  So I have a hard time determining the meaing, that real girls want stupid people (since they botched the code anyway, and are giving advice), or if we are smart (or stupid,depending on how you take it) we need a girlfriend.  So are they saying that if I were stupider I would have less trouble with women ? (In a theoretical sense, since I'm married anyway)


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    Quoting/markup (Was Re: Axe advert)

    @shadowman said:

    Someone sneaked in here and changed up the quoting mechanism for the forum...did this just happen in the last few days or am I just that oblivious?
    Happened when the upgrade to CS happened.

    Also, the wysiwyg text-editor seems to be gone. Markup only now, I suppose. 

    Seems to work here (FF 2.0.0.11 under Linux.) 



  • @PhillS said:

    @TGV said:

    (COND

      ((TOOK YOU TIME (READ THIS))

        (WATCH YOU ADVERTS (MUCH TOO)))

      (T NIL)) 

    If Yoda was a robot, this is how he would be programmed.

    I think that if Yoda were a robot, his natural language generator would be considered broken. From the fact that it wasn't replaced, we can also conclude that his model was out of production for a long, long time. If the newer models hadn't sounded so childish or sexy, they could have used them.

    Summarizing, the AXE advert has taught us: Yoda is an ancient model robot with a broken speech chip; younger models sound more like Mel Gibson or Birttney Spaers. Boy, am I glad I don't live in the future!



  • @TGV said:

    Summarizing, the AXE advert has taught us: Yoda is an ancient model robot with a broken speech chip; younger models sound more like Mel Gibson or Birttney Spaers. Boy, am I glad I don't live in the future!
     

    ... which is simultaneously a long, long time ago! No wonder poor old Yoda's confused.

    It's amazing the things you can learn from adverts these days. Some day I hope to get all my information from adverts.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to inflate my basketball shoes.


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