Write something that looks like it's doing a whole lot, but doesn't actualy do anything under the hood.

For example, back in my "QBasic" days, I wrote a "format" ulility, that showed exactly the same stuff as normal format, but didn't do anything.

Doesn't have to be an exisiting program, feel free to invent anything you want.

 

Kinda inspired by this WTF: http://worsethanfailure.com/Articles/I_Thought_You_Wanted_Demonstrations.aspx 

Not only does it do nothing, but it doesn't look like anything either.

 

In case the forum software eats the tabs, here's the same code written out:

 SP SP SP TAB SP TAB SP TAB TAB TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB TAB SP TAB TAB TAB TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB TAB TAB SP SP TAB SP LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB TAB SP TAB SP TAB TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB TAB SP TAB SP SP TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB TAB SP TAB TAB TAB SP LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB TAB SP SP TAB TAB TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB LF
 SP SP TAB TAB LF
 LF SP SP SP SP SP LF
 SP SP SP SP TAB SP SP SP SP SP LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP TAB LF
 TAB SP SP SP
 SP LF SP
 LF TAB TAB SP SP SP LF
 SP LF LF
 LF TAB TAB SP TAB TAB LF
 SP SP SP TAB SP TAB TAB SP TAB TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP SP TAB TAB TAB TAB SP TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP TAB TAB LF
 SP SP TAB SP TAB TAB SP SP SP TAB LF
 LF SP LF SP SP SP LF
 LF SP SP SP TAB TAB LF
 SP SP SP TAB SP TAB TAB TAB SP TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP SP TAB SP SP SP SP SP LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP SP TAB TAB SP SP SP TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 SP SP SP SP TAB SP SP TAB SP TAB LF
 TAB LF SP SP
 LF SP SP TAB TAB TAB LF
 LF SP LF TAB TAB TAB LF
 LF LF LF

It also doesn't look like it's doing anything, which kinda was the challange :P unless I miss the fact that there is some whitespace compiler?

Daid:

unless I miss the fact that there is some whitespace compiler?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitespace_(programming_language)

This is something I saw long long time ago in my teacher's notes:

 

/*

PROGRAM 2: Hello

Program asks user for his full name and displays welcome message

*/ 

#include <iostream.h>

void main()

{

   char* fullname;

   cout << "Enter your name: ";

 

   //WHY DOES THIS CRASH? 

   //cin >> fullname;

   //cout << "Hello, " << fullname << endl;

 

   cout << "Hello, " << "John Doe" << endl;

}

 

Program does exactly what it should. Somewhat. And still, does pretty nothing. It was ~7 years ago, and I think that my professor was learning C++ along with his students :)

When I come back home I will think about something original, but I have no ideas for now :|

 

Cheers

The following code do absolutely notihng except use up CPU and print dots to fake work.

It's in C# and is a console application. Thanks for your patience ;)

using System;

namespace DoNothing
{
	class Foobar
	{
		static void Main(string[] args)
		{
			Console.WriteLine("System is ready to process the data. Proceed ? (y/n)");
			string ans = System.Console.ReadLine();
			if (ans == "y")
			{
				// just random process time
				int maxTimeDelta = (new Random(DateTime.Now.Millisecond)).Next(10, 60);
				int importantTimeDelta = (new Random(DateTime.Now.Millisecond + maxTimeDelta)).Next(0, maxTimeDelta); // Yay ! Seed with previous random !
				DateTime endTime = DateTime.Now.AddSeconds((double)maxTimeDelta);
				DateTime importantTime = DateTime.Now.AddSeconds((double)importantTimeDelta);
				bool bImportant = false;
				while (DateTime.Now < endTime) // sure way to use up CPU
				{
					// Let's print dots randomly to fake work
					if ((new Random(DateTime.Now.Millisecond)).Next(0, 100) == 1)
						Console.Write(".");
					if (!bImportant && DateTime.Now > importantTime)
					{
						bImportant = true;
						Console.WriteLine();
						Console.WriteLine("Beginning critical processing. Any interruption could lead to data corruption and rash.");
					}
				}
				Console.WriteLine();
				Console.WriteLine("Data processed. Thanks for your patience.");
			}
			else if (ans == "n")
			{
				Console.WriteLine("kthxbye :'(");
			}
			else
			{
				Console.WriteLine("Learn to type !");
			}
		}
	}
}

The last post was three days ago. Will nobody declare a winner?

durnurd:

The last post was three days ago. Will nobody declare a winner?

Yeah, sorry. They installed a new firewall at work. Guess what they blocked? Just about everything. (Google and wikipedia work, but that's about it, suddenly google cache is a blessing)

I was having some problems getting the whitespace one to run. Seems to run now. After some creative abuse of sed and your posted TAB SP LF version.

.... Does it stay stuck at 1%? It does... right? I'll guess I'll put it in a screen and check a while later.

 

Calculating winner:

[=..................................] Working... 1% 

Close one, but this one goes to omega0.

 

Why? Well, it doesn't do much, but it also looks like nothing. Anyone making anything in whitespace gets bonuspoints. The C# from Kokuma is also nice, with random progression, no idea when it finishes and added critical section. But having me running a whitespace program in a screen, for a few houres just to see if it really doesn't do anything is simply priceless.

...It deeply amuses me for some reason that my Working...1% was watched for so long.  I shouldn't laugh though, I had the hulkulator finish all its calculations.

On to #34:

Create warnings.

As many compiler / runtime warnings as you can possibly get in a single statement (the code does have to compile & execute though, no errors, just warnings).

omega0:

...It deeply amuses me for some reason that my Working...1% was watched for so long.  I shouldn't laugh though, I had the hulkulator finish all its calculations.

On to #34:

Create warnings.

As many compiler / runtime warnings as you can possibly get in a single statement (the code does have to compile & execute though, no errors, just warnings).

 

void main (int argc, char ** argv) {
    int z, x = 0;
wtf:if (argc > 0) if(z = z) return z = z + ((void *) printf("%ld%s\n", -x + 5 / -3.1, &x, z) + 3);
    else
        return;
}

bash-3.00$ gcc warns.c -O -Wall -o warns

...snip...

warns.c: In function ‘main’:
warns.c:4: warning: suggest parentheses around assignment used as truth value
warns.c:4: warning: implicit declaration of function ‘printf’
warns.c:4: warning: incompatible implicit declaration of built-in function ‘prin tf’
warns.c:4: warning: format ‘%ld’ expects type ‘long int’, but argument 2 has typ e ‘double’
warns.c:4: warning: format ‘%s’ expects type ‘char *’, but argument 3 has type ‘ int *’
warns.c:4: warning: too many arguments for format
warns.c:4: warning: cast to pointer from integer of different size
warns.c:4: warning: assignment makes integer from pointer without a cast
warns.c:4: warning: ‘return’ with a value, in function returning void
warns.c:4: warning: suggest explicit braces to avoid ambiguous ‘else’
warns.c:4: warning: label ‘wtf’ defined but not used
warns.c:4: warning: ‘z’ is used uninitialized in this function

Console Program

union ForSleepTime {
  char buffer[4];
  unsigned long time;
} timeSleep;
char md5Buffer[64]; //I have a habit of making sure all all arrays and structs are sizeof() power of 2
char inputBuffer[64];

int main() {
  while (1) {
    PromptForInput();
    strcpy(inputBuffer, GrabInput());
    strcpy(md5Buffer, MD5_string(inputBuffer));
    timeSleep.buffer[0] = md5Buffer[0];
    timeSleep.buffer[1] = md5Buffer[1];
    timeSleep.buffer[2] = md5Buffer[2];
    timeSleep.buffer[3] = md5Buffer[3];
    echo("Running command: ", inputBuffer, "\n");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("10% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("20% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("30% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("40% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("50% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("60% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("70% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("80% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("90% Completed. . .");
    DoSomethingWithDiskToMakeNoise();
    sleep(timeSleep.time/10);
    echo("100% Completed. . .");
    echo("Running command: ", inputBuffer, " has completed ", ((inputBuffer%2) ? "successfully" : "failled"), "\n");
  }
  return 0; //As if. . .
}

Two files required:

-Main.c
-Main.h

Main.h:

#define test

But without the newline at the end.

Main.c:

//Repeat the following line as many times as you want warnings.
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
#include "Main.h"
int main(int argc, char** argv) {return 0;}

 

Unlimited warnings for the taking! All on the same line ;) 

G++ goes into an infinite loop when I put #include "main.h" before the #define TEST Near-unlimited warnings ftw.

#include "main.h"
#define TEST

A trivial solution: A "404 warning".

$ perl -e 'warn! warn! warn! warn for  0 .. 100' 

Lingerance:

G++ goes into an infinite loop when I put #include "main.h" before the #define TEST Near-unlimited warnings ftw.

#include "main.h"
#define TEST

But finaly crashes witn an error. Which does not satisfy the "compiles&runs" requirement.

kirchhoff, the next round is yours.  The near-infinite solutions are clever, but 100 of the same error is little boring.

I'm a bit late, but I thought I'd try my hand for the warnings program. This program will probably segfault, though it shouldn't surprise anyone -- it does a lot of pointer munging for the heck of it.

 

50+ warnings, mostly unique, 256 bytes of source, so about one warning every 5 characters. As a bonus, it uses no whitespace. I'm well aware this is longer than a single statement, but it is a single line with no spaces, tabs or newlines ;)

A=&A;struct{int*A};s(P){return"";{int*A;c(A);}return;}main(){int*c={1,3},q=&A,*d,r[3][3]={0};char*u;unsigned*v;l:if(d=s?d:s,v<0,*v<0<0)if(+3<<0xfffffffffU/0,q+=(void*)printf("%s%f%s",1.,s),*u<300);else;d=d++;vsscanf("",'HOLA',c);sprintf(&A,"%c%c",""[*u]);}

Using pre tags:

 A=&A;struct{int*A};s(P){return"";{int*A;c(A);}return;}main(){int*c={1,3},q=&A,*d,r[3][3]={0};char*u;unsigned*v;l:if(d=s?d:s,v<0,*v<0<0)if(+3<<0xfffffffffU/0,q+=(void*)printf("%s%f%s",1.,s),*u<300);else;d=d++;vsscanf("",'HOLA',c);sprintf(&A,"%c%c",""[*u]);}

> gcc -Wall warnfactory.c -Wextra -O

warnfactory.c:1: warning: type defaults to `int' in declaration of `A'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: initialization makes integer from pointer without a cast
warnfactory.c:1: warning: data definition has no type or storage class
warnfactory.c:1: warning: no semicolon at end of struct or union
warnfactory.c:1: warning: unnamed struct/union that defines no instances
warnfactory.c:1: warning: return type defaults to `int'
warnfactory.c: In function `s':
warnfactory.c:1: warning: type of "P" defaults to "int"
warnfactory.c:1: warning: return makes integer from pointer without a cast
warnfactory.c:1: warning: implicit declaration of function `c'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: `return' with no value, in function returning non-void
warnfactory.c:1: warning: this function may return with or without a value
warnfactory.c: At top level:
warnfactory.c:1: warning: unused parameter 'P'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: return type defaults to `int'
warnfactory.c: In function `main':
warnfactory.c:1: warning: initialization makes pointer from integer without a cast
warnfactory.c:1: warning: excess elements in scalar initializer
warnfactory.c:1: warning: (near initialization for `c')
warnfactory.c:1: warning: initialization makes integer from pointer without a cast
warnfactory.c:1: warning: missing braces around initializer
warnfactory.c:1: warning: (near initialization for `r[0]')
warnfactory.c:1: warning: the address of `s', will always evaluate as `true'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: pointer type mismatch in conditional expression
warnfactory.c:1: warning: ordered comparison of pointer with integer zero
warnfactory.c:1: warning: comparison of unsigned expression < 0 is always false
warnfactory.c:1: warning: comparisons like X<=Y<=Z do not have their mathematical meaning
warnfactory.c:1: warning: left-hand operand of comma expression has no effect
warnfactory.c:1: warning: integer constant is too large for "unsigned long" type
warnfactory.c:1: warning: division by zero
warnfactory.c:1: warning: implicit declaration of function `printf'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: format argument is not a pointer (arg 2)
warnfactory.c:1: warning: double format, pointer arg (arg 3)
warnfactory.c:1: warning: too few arguments for format
warnfactory.c:1: warning: assignment makes integer from pointer without a cast
warnfactory.c:1: warning: comparison is always true due to limited range of data type
warnfactory.c:1: warning: left-hand operand of comma expression has no effect
warnfactory.c:1: warning: empty body in an else-statement
warnfactory.c:1: warning: suggest explicit braces to avoid ambiguous `else'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: empty body in an if-statement
warnfactory.c:1: warning: operation on `d' may be undefined
warnfactory.c:1: warning: implicit declaration of function `vsscanf'
warnfactory.c:1:220: warning: multi-character character constant
warnfactory.c:1: warning: passing arg 2 of `vsscanf' makes pointer from integer without a cast
warnfactory.c:1: warning: passing arg 3 of `vsscanf' from incompatible pointer type
warnfactory.c:1: warning: implicit declaration of function `sprintf'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: array subscript has type `char'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: passing arg 1 of `sprintf' from incompatible pointer type
warnfactory.c:1: warning: too few arguments for format
warnfactory.c:1: warning: unused variable `r'
warnfactory.c:1: warning: label `l' defined but not used
warnfactory.c:1: warning: control reaches end of non-void function
warnfactory.c:1: warning: 'u' might be used uninitialized in this function
warnfactory.c:1:257: warning: no newline at end of file