In the true spirit of many WTFs (Virtudyne) posted to this site, I'm not going to write any code until several hours before it needs to be submitted, and at the same time, ensure it appeases everyone in both its appearance and enterpriseyness.

 

I hope I don't ruin any plans. ;) 

I, for one, am really hoping for a "Most Enterprisey" prize.  I really want to see that entry.

No you don't, I'd win that.

My enterprise-grade mathematical solutions provider has been submitted.

And yes, a wooden table is involved.

Carnildo:

And yes, a wooden table is involved.

 

Oh crap, now I'm not so sure mine's going to win.  although.. is yours so soft-coded you can play tic-tac-toe without recompiling? 

wacco:

No you don't, I'd win that.

On a more horrific note, The Beast just passed all test cases. I'm terrified and not sure if I'm willing to unleash it upon the world by submitting it.

Then again, I could win a laptop. *Submits*

Oh, I'm not going for 'Most Enterprisey' with my submit.  I just hope they have that as an honorable mention or runner up.  It should be beautiful.  

I submitted an eldritch horror the likes of which should never have been unleashed upon the world.  Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Quackulater R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

 

phaedrus:

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Quackulater R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

 ...no quack? (C)

th0mas:

Carnildo:

And yes, a wooden table is involved.

 

Oh crap, now I'm not so sure mine's going to win.  although.. is yours so soft-coded you can play tic-tac-toe without recompiling? 

Hmm sounds that SSL connection to server, lookup tables etc. are juts average :(

Well it seems I ran out of time to finish my entry. :(

 

The core of my WTFery was inspired by several large C++ projects (many open-source) that I've had the misfortune of working with. They tend to completely reimplement the STL - either by wrapping native types or the STL itself - just so it fits into the overall coding style of the project. I was planning to start with the basics (calc::object, moving on to calc::number from which are derived calc::floatNumber and calc::doubleNumber, etc). I would then use a database, XML, and possibly AJAX to implement calculator history. Both SQLite and MySQL would be available as database adapters (more as time allows).

 

Surely not enough to compete against some code submitted here, but WTF-worthy in its own right.

Yeah, I tried to emulate that in my entry too. It's very popular among C++ programmers to reinvent wheels such as collection classes, strings etc. In my entry I implemented both an STL "compatible" string class (buggy and leaky) and a really ugly XML parser. (Everyone knows that you can't make enterprise applications without XML, right?) But the idea behind my entry is that it is so enterprisey that it doesn't even calculate the result by itself. That's what web services are for!

 

Of course, the history would be scanned to see if such a calculation had been performed and use its cache rather than actually calculating it. Intended to speed up operations, but the horribly written SQL ends up taking far too long (several seconds) to execute...

th0mas:

Carnildo:

And yes, a wooden table is involved.

 

Oh crap, now I'm not so sure mine's going to win.  although.. is yours so soft-coded you can play tic-tac-toe without recompiling? 

 

Well, if you change some of the server-side scripts...

and write a tic-tac-toe processor...

in brainfk...

and then connect to the appropriate server port to retrieve the new script... 

and you don't mind entering an "invalid move" as the first operand (binary functions only!)

and the numbers you use to save the game state don't exceed six or so didgits (so you probably only get a few turns)...

and you don't actually want any visual feedback on the game or winner...

 

Then yes.  So, I'd have to say, it would probably be about as good at tic-tac-toe as it is at being a calculator.

 

Oddly,  you would have to re-write about 50% of the code to handle two decimal places in the answer, though.
 

I obviously didn't put enough thought into mine.  I think I may win the smallest entry award. :)

Mine can't be the only one that requires a Microsoft Access™ database, can it?