A pre-emptive "Fuck You" to Mozilla

[Guest]

@Ben L. said:

@El_Heffe said:

@garrywong said:

https://blog.mozilla.org/advancingcontent/2014/02/11/publisher-transformation-with-users-at-the-center/

Holy Mother of What The Fuck.  More bullshit double-talk per square inch than anything I've seen for a while.

So if you remove all the marketing-speak, the post is this:

We are adding advertisements to our browser in the case where a user does not have 9 frequently visited sites, such as when they just downloaded the browser.

@Insane Mozilla Person said:

Currently, if a new Firefox user opens a new tab, this is what they see:

Their tiles – those nine rectangles that populate over time with the most frequent and recent websites they visit – are empty.  The new tab page isn’t delivering any value for them.

In related news. major paper manufacturers have announced that all packages of paper will now come with content already printed on the sheets of paper because blank pages don't deliver any value to the user.

 

[RTapeLoadingError]

@Insane Mozilla Person said:

Currently, if a new Firefox user opens a new tab, this is what they see:

Their tiles – those nine rectangles that populate over time with the
most frequent and recent websites they visit – are empty.  The new tab
page isn’t delivering any value for them.

@El_Heffe said:

In related news. major paper manufacturers have announced that all packages of paper will now come with content adverts already printed on the sheets of paper because blank pages don't deliver any value to the user.

 

MTFY

[Lorne Kates]

@Insane Motherfuckers said:

When the user is at the center everyone benefits

You make a fucking WEB BROWSER. This should be a given. If you are doing anything with your browser that isn't for the user, you have failed.

@Whores, Whores, Whores said:

and what worked yesterday might not work tomorrow.

Because you keep fucking around with your core product and breaking shit.

@Asshole lickers said:

While Mozilla hasn’t always seen eye-to-eye with all viewpoints in the digital content community,

It is hard to see people's eyes when your head is shoved up your own ass.

@Dumb fucks justifying their own existence said:

to improve the first-time-with-Firefox experience

Let me say this again. YOU. MAKE. A. FUCKING. WEB-BROWSER. There is no learning curve unless you introduce one. There is no "first-time experience"-- a seven year old Cambodian sex slave knows how to pull up Google. You know what anyone expects their first experience with Firefox to be? A fucking single tab with Google pre-loaded (or whichever search engine you've sold your soul to). Oh, and they expect the UI to be the same as every UI they've encountered fucking ever-- tabs on top, an address bar, a menu bar, a status bar. Any single other thing else and you fucking failed.

@spastic monkey said:

Currently, if a new Firefox user opens a new tab, this is what they see: {image of something other than a single tab with a search engine}

Exactly. You've failed. We know. Thanks for the screenshot proving it.

 @Mozilla by way of El_Heffe said:

The new tab
page isn’t delivering any value for them.

 

They're right.
It is a useless piece of shit. It took them long enough to recognize
that. So I assume the next FF release will restore new_tab_url to
about:blank?

@I already used Whores Whores Whores didn't I? said:

Directory Tiles will instead suggest pre-packaged content for first-time
users.   Some of these tile placements will be from the Mozilla
ecosystem, some will be popular websites in a given geographic location,
and some will be sponsored content from hand-picked partners to help
support Mozilla’s pursuit of our mission.  The sponsored tiles will be
clearly labeled as such, while still leading to content we think users
will enjoy.

So Mozilla's goal is to turn Firefox into a geo-location aware infested piece of adware? Will the tiles be labeled with the icon of the Mozilla CEO sucking the cock of someone from doubleclick?  In what world does shoving ads in front of the user as their "first experience" count as putting the user first? Hey, why not take a page from the DVD makers and make those ads full screen and unskippable?

@Asking to be murdered said:

plan to start showing Directory Tiles to new Firefox users as soon as we have the user experience right.

Fuck you and your  "user experience" doublespeak.  Just because you call it something different doesn't change that rose's name. If I rape you with a cactus and call it a "user experience", it doesn't change that rose's name either. Or your proctologists' bill.

@So progressive said:

We’ll be updating this blog with more information about Directory Tiles and other initiatives, so keep us bookmarked.

..................... "bookmarked"? You just wrote an entire blog post about how disruptive digital bullshit was to the fucking landscape and such, and you end it with a reference to BOOKMARKS?  Let's put aside that ending a blog with a weaksauce-ass ending like "stay tuned for more" is-- well, fucking weaksauce-ass in any context-- you go with Vishnufucking BOOKMARKS?!? Not an RSS feed? Not a suggestion that the reader make your blog on of their Live Tiles? You, sir, are a MASTER of the digital technologies. I will certainly visit you again on the World Wide Web where I can access all your information with the click of a mouse. DOWNLOAD IN SECONDS!

Oh, and let's not forget this anal-wrenching gem:

@nomorenomorenomorenomorenomorenomore.... said:

ozilla is kicking off an exploration to transform the user’s content
experience through two initial programs, one of which you may have
already read about called UP

I am already internally dissolving with the amount of bile THIS article brought up, I don't have it in me to go through those linked articles. But I will leave you with this one quote from the first:

@Another Mozilla retard sucking the marketer's cock said:

...let’s say Firefox recognizes within the browser client,
without any browsing history leaving my computer, that I’m interested in
gadgets, comedy films, hockey and cooking. As I browse around the Web, I
could choose when to share those interests with specific websites for a
personalized experience.

[Guest]

About Darren Herman

        </p><p>As VP of Content Services, Darren Herman is responsible 

for diversifying revenue and sustaining Mozilla’s mission through
innovation in content and personalization products and services. He
joined in 2013 after overseeing digital media for MDC Partners Maxxcom
Media Group and running the MDC Partners/kbs+ corporate venture fund,
focused on advertising and marketing technologies.

[HardwareGeek]

@Lorne Kates said:

@Mozilla by way of El_Heffe said:

The new tab
page isn’t delivering any value for them.

They're right.
It is a useless piece of shit. It took them long enough to recognize
that. So I assume the next FF release will restore new_tab_url to
about:blank?

I don't want the new tab page to deliver any value for me; I just want a new tab. I don't really care what, if anything, it displays, because I ignore its content. I already know what site I want to view in the new tab; that's why I opened it in the first place. I don't click on any of the tiles, and I sure as heck am not interested in visiting any advertiser's site. If it is a site I visit often enough to be one of the tiles, autocomplete in the address bar will finish the URL after typing only a very few characters (typing a single letter "t" brings up "www.thedailywtf.com" as the first choice, followed by "translate.google.com"), and some of my most-visited sites do not satisfy whatever algorithm chooses which ones to assign to the tiles.

Oh, and if I did want the new tab page to deliver value, I'd want it to deliver value for me, not Mozilla's advertising revenue.

[flabdablet]

@El_Heffe said:

About Darren Herman

        </p><p>As VP of Content Services, Darren Herman is responsible 

for diversifying revenue and sustaining Mozilla’s mission through
innovation in content and personalization products and services. He
joined in 2013 after overseeing digital media for MDC Partners Maxxcom
Media Group and running the MDC Partners/kbs+ corporate venture fund,
focused on advertising and marketing technologies.

You do what you can.

[dkf]

@blakeyrat said:

@Ben L. said:

So if you remove all the marketing-speak, the post is this:

We are adding advertisements to our browser in the case where a user does not have 9 frequently visited sites, such as when they just downloaded the browser.

... and to appease the open source "information wants to be free!" idiots who inexplicably still support our browser, some of the ads will be for other open source products.

I'm impressed by your ability to drag your way through the marketing-speak; it managed to reach my BS rate limiter before the end of the first paragraph. I'm just waiting for the natural consequence of this to come: scummy advertisers delivering content that attacks a newly-downloaded browser before it has had a chance to patch itself up to date, or for users to install countermeasures.

Since ensuring that this won't happen requires the ad industry to not be scum, you know we're talking the inevitable end game here. Helter-skelter towards the apocalypse.

[Guest]

@HardwareGeek said:

I don't want the new tab page to deliver any value for me; I just want a new tab. I don't really care what, if anything, it displays, because I ignore its content.

I have all my tiles pinned.

Or maybe I don't? They all have the pin icon blue instead of dark grey, whatever that means. Apparently making an icon with a lifted pin was too much work.

 

[dhromed]

@HardwareGeek said:

If it is a site I visit often enough to be one of the tiles,

 

The awesome thing is that the Much Visited tiles are broken. I think they're broken in every single browser.

The top three tiles in mine right now are two different google searches, and a picture of a TDWTF 500 error. The fourth is tumblr, which I visit a lot. The thumbnail has no images. The fifth, twitter, I also visit a lot, has no screenshot at all. The sixth is a correct site, but a week-old screenshot.

The lower three are all three subforum indexes from another forum I visit.

It's broken. Broken broken broken.

And now it's going to fixed by a Marketing Whisperer? 

Goddamnit, Mozilla. You're the only browser left with text-only zoom. Why do you hate your users.

[Lorne Kates]

@dhromed said:

The top three tiles in mine right now are two different google searches, and a picture of a TDWTF 500 error. The fourth is tumblr, which I visit a lot. The thumbnail has no images. The fifth, twitter, I also visit a lot, has no screenshot at all. The sixth is a correct site, but a week-old screenshot.

The lower three are all three subforum indexes from another forum I visit

 

And 90% of those are already open in tabs anyways, aren't they?

Is anyone's workflow "Open one tab. Click the site Mozilla tells me to. Read site. Close tab. Open new tab to get back to AEWSUM SCREEN. Click on my next site. Read it. Never have commonly visited sites open in multiple tabs (confoozing)"?

 

[Cyxxon]

@dhromed said:

The awesome thing is that the Much Visited tiles are broken. I think they're broken in every single browser.

The top three tiles in mine right now are two different google searches, and a picture of a TDWTF 500 error. The fourth is tumblr, which I visit a lot. The thumbnail has no images. The fifth, twitter, I also visit a lot, has no screenshot at all. The sixth is a correct site, but a week-old screenshot.

The lower three are all three subforum indexes from another forum I visit.

 

I personally like that some recent Firefox update "fixed" the tiles for secure sites to no longer show no screenshot at all, but a screenshot of the login page for that site, indicating that the system does not snapshot the site when I visit it, but crawls it some other way. Also, for me, the most recent site is a Facebook Messenger conversation. Supa helpful. Coupled with a screenshot of a progress bar for Google Play Music as a tile in the second row... no.

 

[boomzilla]

@Lorne Kates said:

Is anyone's workflow "Open one tab. Click the site Mozilla tells me to. Read site. Close tab. Open new tab to get back to AEWSUM SCREEN. Click on my next site. Read it. Never have commonly visited sites open in multiple tabs (confoozing)"?

I don't normally use Firefox, but I basically do that with several sites in Chrome. They're my frequently visited sites--mainly stuff like Facebook and Weather Channel and a few work things--but I could see some of those showing up as the default suggestions in the scenario described by the Mozilla dweeb. I don't keep those open all day.

[dhromed]

@boomzilla said:

I don't normally use Firefox, but I basically do that with several sites in Chrome. They're my frequently visited sites

 

I put those in bookmarks in a bookmark folder and then middle-click the folder.

[boomzilla]

@dhromed said:

@boomzilla said:

I don't normally use Firefox, but I basically do that with several sites in Chrome. They're my frequently visited sites

I put those in bookmarks in a bookmark folder and then middle-click the folder.

Yeah, I have a few things in my bookmarks toolbar and middle click those. Sometimes I open a new tab and start typing the name of the site and use auto-complete. TMTOWTDI definitely describes my browsing habits.

[Lorne Kates]

@dhromed said:

I put those in bookmarks in a bookmark folder and then middle-click the folder.

 

....................................................................

you are a god!

[Lorne Kates]

@boomzilla said:

TMTOWTDI definitely describes my browsing habits.

 

Mozilla will put you, the user, at the center of their user-centered user experience center so that you, the user, can experience Firefox in the ONE TRUE AND ONLY WAY! Stop doing things in novel or convenient ways, you'll confuse someone.

[boomzilla]

@Lorne Kates said:

@boomzilla said:

TMTOWTDI definitely describes my browsing habits.

 

Mozilla will put you, the user, at the center of their user-centered user experience center so that you, the user, can experience FirefoxGrumpy Cat in the ONE TRUE AND ONLY WAY! Stop doing things in novel or convenient ways, you'll confuse someonemiss Grumpy cat memes.

GCGTFY

[error]

@dkf said:

a newly-downloaded browser before it has had a chance to patch itself up to date

Wait, what? Who is downloading out-of-date browsers and letting them patch to-date?

That's how it works for games and applications, usually because it's not feasible to reprint and distribute new media for each version, but for browsers you should be installing the latest bits available at the time.

[blakeyrat]

@HardwareGeek said:

I don't want the new tab page to deliver any value for me; I just want a new tab. I don't really care what, if anything, it displays, because I ignore its content. I already know what site I want to view in the new tab; that's why I opened it in the first place. I don't click on any of the tiles, and I sure as heck am not interested in visiting any advertiser's site. If it is a site I visit often enough to be one of the tiles, autocomplete in the address bar will finish the URL after typing only a very few characters (typing a single letter "t" brings up "www.thedailywtf.com" as the first choice, followed by "translate.google.com"), and some of my most-visited sites do not satisfy whatever algorithm chooses which ones to assign to the tiles.

Oh, and if I did want the new tab page to deliver value, I'd want it to deliver value for me, not Mozilla's advertising revenue.

Bitch bitch bitch bitch moan bitch bitch! Bitch bitch bitch bitch grump grump bitch! Grump moan bitch bitch grump!

Get off my lawn!!!

---

Seriously, even if I agreed with you (which I don't, this is goddamned harmless, calm down), you sound way too much like an insane drunken homeless man on a street corner rambling about commies. OMG next think you know they're going to remove the "http://" from the URL bar and that will cause the PLANET TO EXPLODE INTO SKITTLES-SIZED PIECES!

[Lorne Kates]

@joe.edwards said:

Wait, what? Who is downloading out-of-date browsers and letting them patch to-date?

 

He means patching it with security plug-ins specifically designed to protect against malicious content-- like the kind that can (and does) get delivered through a 3rd party ad network. Like the sort of content that will be loaded when FF is first run, before any patches are applied.

[Guest]

@Lorne Kates said:

Is anyone's workflow "Open one tab. Click the site Mozilla tells me to. Read site. Close tab. Open new tab to get back to AEWSUM SCREEN.

You don't have to do it that way to get the full benefit of the AEWSUM SCREEN.  Every time you open another new tab you get the AEWSUM SCREEN with its AEWSUM TILES telling you what AEWSUM SITES you can visit.

Currently, for me, opening a new tab shows a blank screen because I have the stupid "tiles" thing turned off. I have lots of nicely organized bookmarks that will take me where I need to go and have no need for anyone's help in that regard. If I want to go back to some page that I don't have bookmarked, the History function takes care of that.

Of course, you can bet the option to turn off the "tiles" will soon disappear.  And how long will it be till those tiles no longer show recently visited sites (a feature that has never worked properly anyway) and show nothing but "sponsored content"?

I don't think it's coincidence that this feature is being introduced a few months before Mozilla's gravy train of free money from Google might come to an end.

[boomzilla]

@El_Heffe said:

If I want to go back to some page that I don't have bookmarked, the History function takes care of that.

I agree with blakeyrat on the hyperventilation in this thread. The tiles are basically a different way to view history, filtered by how often you go places and in a visual format. If you do much browsing, I expect the default stuff will go away pretty quickly. But I guess you need something to rant about.

[Guest]

@boomzilla said:

The tiles are basically a different way to view history, badly filtered by how often you go places

FTFY

I turned off the tiles a long time ago because 90% of what they show is completely random and useless.

[Snooder]

@Lorne Kates said:

@dhromed said:

The top three tiles in mine right now are two different google searches, and a picture of a TDWTF 500 error. The fourth is tumblr, which I visit a lot. The thumbnail has no images. The fifth, twitter, I also visit a lot, has no screenshot at all. The sixth is a correct site, but a week-old screenshot.

The lower three are all three subforum indexes from another forum I visit

 

And 90% of those are already open in tabs anyways, aren't they?

Is anyone's workflow "Open one tab. Click the site Mozilla tells me to. Read site. Close tab. Open new tab to get back to AEWSUM SCREEN. Click on my next site. Read it. Never have commonly visited sites open in multiple tabs (confoozing)"?

I actually like the tiles. Btw, you can manipulate it to show the tiles that you want. So I usually have a few favorite sites pinned to it, and if I see a site popping up that I hadn't noticed I've been visiting a lot lately, I'll pin that there too. And if, for example, I close out a tab or close my browser without saving the tabs, I can get back to it pretty easily. Also, having the screenshot is nice because sometimes I forget what site is which, especially if the url isn't very descriptive and I haven't been there in a couple of months.

 

[HardwareGeek]

@dhromed said:

@HardwareGeek said:

If it is a site I visit often enough to be one of the tiles,

The awesome thing is that the Much Visited tiles are broken.

Yeah, I was going to comment on that, but then I realized I was looking at the brokenness in Chrome, not Firefox. I couldn't remember for sure just how broken Firefox is, and I couldn't be bothered starting it to check.@dhromed said:

I think they're broken in every single browser.

I think you're right.

[HardwareGeek]

blakeyrat, of all people, thinks I sound like@blakeyrat said:

an insane drunken homeless man on a street corner rambling

Thank you, Blakey, that's the best laugh I've had on TDWTF in a good while.@blakeyrat said:

this is goddamned harmless

Maybe (although dkf seems to disagree), but it's certainly not an improvement. It's another example of Mozilla making a change that no user wants and a bunch emphatically don't want.

[dhromed]

@HardwareGeek said:

blakeyrat, of all people, thinks I sound like@blakeyrat said:

an insane drunken homeless man on a street corner rambling

Thank you, Blakey, that's the best laugh I've had on TDWTF in a good while.

 

Yeah! As if any of us don't sound like that!

*SWIG*

[error]

@dhromed said:

@HardwareGeek said:

blakeyrat, of all people, thinks I sound like@blakeyrat said:

an insane drunken homeless man on a street corner rambling

Thank you, Blakey, that's the best laugh I've had on TDWTF in a good while.

 

Yeah! As if any of us don't sound like that!

SWIG

I certainly do.

[Guest]

@joe.edwards said:

@dhromed said:

@HardwareGeek said:

blakeyrat, of all people, thinks I sound like@blakeyrat said:

an insane drunken homeless man on a street corner rambling

Thank you, Blakey, that's the best laugh I've had on TDWTF in a good while.

 

Yeah! As if any of us don't sound like that!

*SWIG*

I certainly do.

I thought the Internet existed so that insane drunken homeless people had something to do.

 

[dkf]

@HardwareGeek said:

@blakeyrat said:

this is goddamned harmless

Maybe (although dkf seems to disagree)

I so wish I could believe that it was harmless. I've seen too much stupid shit done that causes catastrophic problems, and all just to chisel another few cents.

[dhromed]

@dkf said:

few cents.

 

Changing the source of your income is not exactly a few cents.

[Guest]

@dkf said:

@HardwareGeek said:

@blakeyrat said:

this is goddamned harmless

Maybe (although dkf seems to disagree)

I so wish I could believe that it was harmless. I've seen too much stupid shit done that causes catastrophic problems, and all just to chisel another few cents.

As much as I hate to agree with blakeyrat, it is harmless -- right now.  But you don't have to be a rocket surgeon to see where this is headed. That's the real problem.

[Guest]

@El_Heffe said:

you don't have to be a rocket surgeon

I am so using that.

[error]

@Zecc said:

@El_Heffe said:

you don't have to be a rocket surgeon

I am so using that.

I fancy myself more of a brain scientist.

[blakeyrat]

@El_Heffe said:

As much as I hate to agree with blakeyrat, it is harmless -- right now. But you don't have to be a rocket surgeon to see where this is headed. That's the real problem.

Slippery-slope arguments are bullshit.

[error]

@blakeyrat said:

@El_Heffe said:

As much as I hate to agree with blakeyrat, it is harmless -- right now. But you don't have to be a rocket surgeon to see where this is headed. That's the real problem.

Slippery-slope arguments are bullshit.

Careful; if you start saying all of a certain class of arguments are bullshit, soon you'll be calling everything bullshit.

[boomzilla]

@joe.edwards said:

Careful; if you start saying all of a certain class of arguments are bullshit, soon you'll be calling everything bullshit.

As long as you're entertaining when you do so, what's the problem?

[error]

@boomzilla said:

@joe.edwards said:

Careful; if you start saying all of a certain class of arguments are bullshit, soon you'll be calling everything bullshit.

As long as you're entertaining when you do so, what's the problem?

I guess what I was trying to say is that calling slippery slope arguments bullshit is a slippery slope.

[boomzilla]

@joe.edwards said:

I guess what I was trying to say is that calling slippery slope arguments bullshit is a slippery slope.

I know. The slippery slope fallacy is bullshit. I guess what I was trying to say is that I enjoy watching Master Ken call things bullshit.

[Snooder]

@boomzilla said:

@joe.edwards said:

I guess what I was trying to say is that calling slippery slope arguments bullshit is a slippery slope.

I know. The slippery slope fallacy is bullshit.

There's nothing wrong with a slippery slope argument in itself. It's just another form of reduction ad absurdum after all. You just have to be careful that you don't skip too many steps. Otherwise you might slip and fall in your logic.

[too_many_usernames]

@boomzilla said:

The slippery slope fallacy is bullshit.

 

Yes, I can see how that would be slippery. Even better is the fact that it may be dried and crusty so not seem slippery. Then something gets it wet and then everyone is at the bottom of the pile covered in sludge wondering WTF just happened.

[Guest]

Re: Firefox, now with AIDS!

I wonder if there is a way to consolidate the two threads going around on this subject.

[fire2k]

@Zecc said:

I wonder if there is a way to consolidate the two threads going around on this subject.

 

 Be careful, that could lead to a consolidation of all forum content

[RTapeLoadingError]

@fire2k said:

@Zecc said:

I wonder if there is a way to consolidate the two threads going around on this subject.

 

 Be careful, that could lead to a consolidation of all forum content

Is this the right thread for a slippery slope argument? </>

[error]

@RTapeLoadingError said:

@fire2k said:

@Zecc said:

I wonder if there is a way to consolidate the two threads going around on this subject.

 

 Be careful, that could lead to a consolidation of all forum content

Is this the right thread for a slippery slope argument?

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry but this is Abuse. Ah, yes; you want thread 12 A, just along the corridor.

[Ben L.]

@joe.edwards said:

@RTapeLoadingError said:

@fire2k said:

@Zecc said:

I wonder if there is a way to consolidate the two threads going around on this subject.

 

 Be careful, that could lead to a consolidation of all forum content

Is this the right thread for a slippery slope argument?

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry but this is Abuse. Ah, yes; you want thread 12 A, just along the corridor.

Whoa, now we're referencing private messages, too?

[Lorne Kates]

@Zecc said:

I wonder if there is a way to consolidate the two threads going around on this subject.

 

Eww, no. I don't want my thread to get AIDS.

[Ben L.]

I think your thread got AIDS.

THANKS, MOZILLA.

[error]

@Ben L. said:

I think your thread got AIDS.

THANKS, MOZILLA.

What's wrong with having aides?

[PJH]

@Zecc said:

I wonder if there is a way to consolidate the two threads going around on this subject.

There is, however you appear to be under the delusion that (1) this thread will stay on the subject and (2) the other thread is still on the subject.