Dinosaurs according to Genesis



  • @alegr said:

    Now, how about those marsupials (Kangaroos and such) that only live in Australia, Tasmania and New Zealand? Was it him who saved them? How about penguins who live in Antarctica?

    I once heard someone argue that the reason they know there is no life on other planets is that the Bible doesn't mention it.

    By that logic, there is no such thing as a kangaroo.

    It's probably not surprising to anyone who's not a frothy-mouthed literalist that the Bible doesn't mention kangaroos.

    But I'll bet even they believe in cats.

    (For the biblically-challenged: cats are never mentioned in the Bible.  Lions and leopards, yes, but nothing like Maru or Tardar Sauce.)



  • @eViLegion said:

    @taustin said:

    @eViLegion said:

    My advice to you dude, is that if you don't want to flood the sidebar with "another argument on evolution", you should understand that we're (for the most part) logical, scientifically minded people around here.

    If that were true of you, you would have immediately recognized the troll for what it is, and either ignored it, or responded in a snarky attempt to be funny, or mocked it in a self-effacing attempt to be funny.

    I disagree dude... It is entirely appropriate to respond to trolls, even if you know (or suspect) that they're trolling,

    It is. Taking them seriously makes you look like a retard. Only, in some cases, it isn't just looks ,is it? 

    @eViLegion said:

    @taustin said:

    On the other than, I recall the days of alt.syntax.tactical on usenet, too.


    Eh? Is what you're recalling a thing that people should be aware of?

    Pretending to know know what they were (and implying that you are too stupid to know what Google is) only provides more evidence, son.



  • @taustin said:

    It is. Taking them seriously makes you look like a retard. Only, in some cases, it isn't just looks ,is it?

    I tire of this argument. Let's fight about something that really matters: the CIA totally killed Elvis, didn't they?



  • I knew people in this forum were great with ridicule, but now I know they are great with building and destroying strawmen and thinking that solves it.  Sounds more like management types rather than coders.

    I know the story from the original post was laughable, but just because there are foolish people does not make The Bible or believers in general foolish.

     It is the same as "Just because there are bad <insert language here> programmers, does not mean that <insert same language here> is bad."

     I see a lot of attacks on foolish statements, but I am guessing that you avoid attacks on the contents in what we call The Bible itself because either

    1. You don't know The Bible enough to comment
    2. You know it well enough, and can't make a good argument against it or
    3. You just are having fun trolling the trolls, etc.

    From my experience in this forum, I have a tendancy to think it is mostly 3, with some of 1 and 2 thrown in.



  • @The Bytemaster said:

    From my experience in this forum, I have a tendancy to think it is mostly 3, with some of 1 and 2 thrown in.

    I dunno, probably mostly 1 and 2. Most people here don't seem to be trolls so much as imbued with foolish hubris.



  • @eViLegion said:

    [@joe.edwards said:
    Dunning-Kruger effect is the cognitive bias such that ignorant/unintelligent people are so ignorant that they're unaware of just how ignorant they are and give positive estimation on their capabilities,
    whereas experts/intelligent people know so much more that they're aware of just how much they don't know and thus give negative estimation on their abilities. Just saying.

    Edit: although to be fair, what you said is a consequence of the D-K effect, if not the actual effect itself.

    Sounds about right for a lot of the posters in this thread as well, seem to be talking about things they know little about.



  • @GNU Pepper said:

    TRWTF is the laissez-faire administration of this fucking forum.

    Go fuck yourself you fucking fuck.



  • @Ben L. said:

    Gravity is just a theory so I don't have to believe it if I don't want to.

    Goddammit, do they not teach science anymore? Gravity is a phenomenon. There are laws pertaining to it (there are also some theories that would expand upon these laws in certain circumstances).

    Meanwhile, evolution is a phenomenon that also has several theories (and probably some laws) pertaining to it.



  • @eViLegion said:

    ...but any standing trees would have died and started to rot.

    Their roots could survive.

    @eViLegion said:

    Now, look up the age of the oldest known living tree.

    5000 years.

    @eViLegion said:

    Its a fuck of a lot older than any dates your best academics have put on your stupid fucking flood.

    Really? I actually thought that the flood was supposed to be about 5000 years ago.



  •  @The Bytemaster said:

    I know the story from the original post was laughable, but just because there are foolish people does not make The Bible or believers in general foolish.
     

    Most believers are in it to feel better about themselves, often at the expense of others, and don't give a shit about what the bible actually says.

     That is Most, not All. The rest become apologetics that seek to find interpretations of passages where somebody might otherwise wonder why everything in it seems to be consistent with the understanding of the world as we knew it at the time it was written. Like that stuff about there being a Ocean in the sky and people trying to reinterpret that to mean something other than "an ocean in the sky" because "it's symbolic".

     

    I also think it would be a bit arrogant to think that the Universe was created for us.Seems like a rather big playground.

     



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @eViLegion said:
    Its a fuck of a lot older than any dates your best academics have put on your stupid fucking flood.

    Really? I actually thought that the flood was supposed to be about 5000 years ago.

    So if the world is 6000 years old, that means God took a thousand years to fix his fuck-up.

    That must have been one hell of a support ticket.


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @morbiuswilters said:

    the CIA totally killed Elvis, didn't they?
     

    It was self-defense. That asshole wasn't content with just destroying all their mind-controlling televisions. He was going after the innocent psychics at the control nodes. Those were just children, man. Just children!

    It took 26 years for his essence to resurface in Michael Jackson. The meld didn't completely take. He was targetting the Node Children-- just not quite in the right way.They left well enough alone for a decade and a half, hoping for the essence to just fade away. It didn't happen. They had to put him down.

     


  • Trolleybus Mechanic

    @Ben L. said:

    So if the world is 6000 years old, that means God took a thousand years to fix his fuck-up.

    That must have been one hell of a support ticket.

     

    We know the speed of light. We can see light from billions of light years away.

    Anyone claiming 6000 years can go fuck themselves with a science text with guilded pages.

     



  • @Ben L. said:

    So if the world is 6000 years old, that means God took a thousand years to fix his fuck-up.

    That must have been one hell of a support ticket.

    Well, he probably didn't realize it was hopelessly fucked-up until later on. And I'm sure there was lots of second chances.

    The thing I never got: whatever happened to that vengeful, Old Testament God? There are, like, so many people who deserve a good flooding now, but God's glorious floods are nowhere to be found!

    Oh, that's right, he promised he wouldn't flood anymore with the rainbow thing.* Well that sucks.


    *Boy, the gays really stuck their finger in God's eye on that one, huh?

    God: Hey, sorry I had to kill everyone but they wouldn't stop having buttsex. But here's this spectrum of visible EMR for you all to enjoy, just as my promise that I won't resort to rage-killing everybody ever again. Instead, I will lurk in the shadows and accumulate a long list of grievances that I will one day spring on you--and which I will use as justification for an eternity of torturing you. You know, like a psychotic girlfriend..

    Gay 1: O! M! G! It is fabulous! I will print it on a handkerchief and use it as a gag for when I'm thrusting my massive, rock-hard penis into my the oily, muscular buttocks of every random guy I can find!

    God: Wait, what? No, that's.. that's not what it's meant for at all. I mean, it's just kind of a memento mori of all those sodomy-loving people I just murdered.

    Gay 2: I'm going to get it tattooed on my cock so the guys on Fire Island will know it's me, even if they can't see my face!

    God: Me-dammit, no! That's not what I intended it for! Look, I'm gonna--where the hell did I put that flood machine?

    Gay 1: Oh you big silly goose! You promised you weren't going to drown us ever again! But I don't think that's going to stop me from drowning in the salty ejaculate of a thousand anonymous bathhouse guests!

    God: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!



  • @BC_Programmer said:

    Most believers are in it to feel better about themselves, often
    at the expense of others, and don't give a shit about what the bible
    actually says.

    I think that's true of all of humanity.

    @BC_Programmer said:

    I also think it would be a bit arrogant to think that the Universe was created for us.Seems like a rather big playground.

    I don't remember the Bible saying that the entire universe was created for man. Also, I would usually say it's the irreligious folk who are more arrogant*, since the believers think that we are created to serve God.


    (*Cue the idiots who are going to argue with me because they think "arrogant" means "wrong"..)



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    It took 26 years for his essence to resurface in Michael Jackson.

    MJ-ULTRA?

    @Lorne Kates said:

    The meld didn't completely take. He was targetting the Node Children-- just not quite in the right way.They left well enough alone for a decade and a half, hoping for the essence to just fade away. It didn't happen. They had to put him down.

    Win.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    We can see light from billions of light years away.

    Maybe when God created the universe 6000 years ago, he created light already on the way here?


    Dear God, that actually makes some degree of sense. I mean, it makes more sense than God created stars billions of light years away whose light wouldn't reach Earth until long after humanity was extinct.

    @Lorne Kates said:

    Anyone claiming 6000 years can go fuck themselves with a science text with guilded pages.

    6000 seems kinda long to me. My own consciousness only goes back to 1987 or so. I have no way of proving that anything existed before I did. So I'm going to say the universe is 29, maybe 30 years old.



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @Lorne Kates said:
    Anyone claiming 6000 years can go fuck themselves with a science text with guilded pages.

    6000 seems kinda long to me. My own consciousness only goes back to 1987 or so. I have no way of proving that anything existed before I did. So I'm going to say the universe is 29, maybe 30 years old.

    Observation === Science

    true



  • @BC_Programmer said:

    Most believers are in it to feel better about themselves, often at the expense of others, and don't give a shit about what the bible actually says.
    Unfortunately, most people don't care what it actually says.

    <font size="2">@BC_Programmer said:

    That is Most, not All. The rest become apologetics that seek to find interpretations of passages where somebody might otherwise wonder why everything in it seems to be consistent with the understanding of the world as we knew it at the time it was written
    The goal is to understand the actual original writings, in light of the times when they were written down and especially the language they were written in (all dead languages or dialects now, so they don't shift through time like active languages).  Also, remember, there was a wide range of people even at the time the various manuscripts that compose the cannon of The Bible were written.  What was known and believed at the time varied by region.</font>

    <font size="2">@BC_Programmer said:

    I also think it would be a bit arrogant to think that the Universe was created for us.Seems like a rather big playground.
    I do not see anywhere in The Bible that the universe was created for us.  Actually, it seems to be created by God, for God, but that is my interpretation, not actually in there.  The only thing that it does talk about is that man was first made from the dust of the earth and then created in His image (it actually say let us create man in OUR image - plural).  Creation is then given over to man for their caretaking.  I don't think we have done a great job as caretakers.</font>



  • An exercise for the readers of this post:

    Read the first chapter of your favorite religious text, but replace "God" with "Entropy".

    Suddenly, it's science fiction plus rape!



  • @Ben L. said:

    So if the world is 6000 years old,
    The person who originally wrote down the assumptions that became known as the 6000 years theory was asked to calculate how old the earth was based on The Bible.  He stated several assumptions, including:

    • There are no gaps in the Geneologies
    • The Geneologies purpose (or a purpose) is to establish time
    • Their are no gaps of time in The Bible unaccounted for.
    • Others...

    Unffortunately, at least the three assumptions listed here are known to be untrue and were known by him to be untrue.  In otherwords, he was establishing a minimum age of the earth.  Also unfortunately, some ministers got a hold of it and preached it to be as true as the Gospel, flying in the face of logic and reason from anyone who really studies The Bible.

     Though, I would like to have 1000 years to fix a support ticket.  In this case, however, the same person was both the requester and the implementer.



  • @The Bytemaster said:

    He stated several assumptions, including:

    • Others...

    what



  • @Ben L. said:

    An exercise for the readers of this post:

    Read the first chapter of your favorite religious text, but replace "God" with "Entropy".

    Suddenly, it's science fiction plus rape!

    And where do you get rape from in Genesis 1?  On the other hand, chapter breaks and verses were only added a few hundred years ago.


  • @Ben L. said:

    @The Bytemaster said:

    He stated several assumptions, including:

    • Others...

    what
    Other assumtions in addition to those three.  I am going from memory here.. you are going to make me dig out my reference material, I suppose.



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    We know the speed of light. We can see light from billions of light years away.

    Might not be the best leg to stand on.  We do know the speed of light in a vacuum, but with the universe expanding and accelerating, we don't yet know the impact of the so-called "dark matter" and "dark energy".  We are still learning about how all of that impacts things outside of our solar system.


  • @The Bytemaster said:

    @Ben L. said:
    @The Bytemaster said:

    He stated several assumptions, including:

    • Others...

    what
    Other assumtions in addition to those three.  I am going from memory here.. you are going to make me dig out my reference material, I suppose.

    what



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Let's fight about something that really matters: the CIA totally killed Elvis, didn't they?

    No way. Reptilians can't digest peanut butter and bacon at the same time, so all the peanut butter just built up and up inside his fifth stomach. Eventually there was enough of it fermenting away in there to crush his glort bladder, the transfusions stopped working and he turned to moosh.

    The CIA fully covered it up, though.



  • @The Bytemaster said:

    @eViLegion said:
    Dunning-Kruger effect is the cognitive bias such that ignorant/unintelligent people are so ignorant that they're unaware of just how ignorant they are and give positive estimation on their capabilities,

    whereas experts/intelligent people know so much more that they're aware of just how much they don't know and thus give negative estimation on their abilities. Just saying.



    Edit: although to be fair, what you said is a consequence of the D-K effect, if not the actual effect itself.

    Sounds about right for a lot of the posters in this thread as well, seem to be talking about things they know little about.

    FTFY.


  • Considered Harmful

    @The Bytemaster said:

    the cannon of The Bible

    Whoa, that sounds dangerous.


  • Considered Harmful

    @morbiuswilters said:

    God: Hey, sorry I had to kill everyone but they wouldn't stop having buttsex. But here's this spectrum of visible EMR for you all to enjoy, just as my promise that I won't resort to rage-killing everybody ever again. Instead, I will lurk in the shadows and accumulate a long list of grievances that I will one day spring on you--and which I will use as justification for an eternity of torturing you. You know, like a psychotic girlfriend..

    Gay 1: O! M! G! It is fabulous! I will print it on a handkerchief and use it as a gag for when I'm thrusting my massive, rock-hard penis into my the oily, muscular buttocks of every random guy I can find!

    God: Wait, what? No, that's.. that's not what it's meant for at all. I mean, it's just kind of a memento mori of all those sodomy-loving people I just murdered.

    Gay 2: I'm going to get it tattooed on my cock so the guys on Fire Island will know it's me, even if they can't see my face!

    God: Me-dammit, no! That's not what I intended it for! Look, I'm gonna--where the hell did I put that flood machine?

    Gay 1: Oh you big silly goose! You promised you weren't going to drown us ever again! But I don't think that's going to stop me from drowning in the salty ejaculate of a thousand anonymous bathhouse guests!

    God: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!




  • @morbiuswilters said:

    @BC_Programmer said:
    Most believers are in it to feel better about themselves, often at the expense of others, and don't give a shit about what the bible actually says.

    I think that's true of all of humanity.

    So, since everyone is simply trying to feel superior to everyone else, why have all the religious people swallowed a massive pack of lies?

    Surely the way to win the feeling superior game is to actually BE correct and able to prove it, rather than simply believing you're correct.



  • @joe.edwards said:

    If that had really happened, it would be "God hates fags, purple monkey dishwasher."



  • @eViLegion said:

    So, since everyone is simply trying to feel superior to everyone else, why have all the religious people swallowed a massive pack of lies?

    Surely the way to win the feeling superior game is to actually BE correct and able to prove it, rather than simply believing you're correct.

    Your latter statement isn't borne out by the facts. And your former is silly and hypocritical. You have no evidence of your claims, but you're just asserting things simply because you believe yourself to be correct. Which is fine, i don't really care, but don't pretend for one second that your faith is any more reasonable than theirs.



  • @DCRoss said:

    But then you would need to put in a tank with walls 60 feet by 10 feel that could withstand the pressure of 18,000 cubic feet of water.

    Some transparent aluminum should do the trick.



  • @The Bytemaster said:

    Might not be the best leg to stand on.  We do know the speed of light in a vacuum, but with the universe expanding and accelerating, we don't yet know the impact of the so-called "dark matter" and "dark energy".  We are still learning about how all of that impacts things outside of our solar system.
     

    We don't know exactly what they can do, but we know what they can't do. If the universe were 6.000 years old due to accelerations, space deformation, or even the speed of light changing, there would be dire consequence, including no star existing, or even no matter at all existing. Dark matter is not a MacGuffin that can lead to everything, it's not because we don't know everything about it that it can change physical laws in any way needed.

     Now, the main point is still : believing in bible is not inherently stupid, but believing in biblical inerrency, plus the strange concept that none of thoses story are parable, do lead to crazy theory. I mean, the Bible never say that God is supposed to have created the universe in a way we can grasp. The whole Tree of Knowledge story seem even to imply that this knowledge is either forbidden or harmful to humans.

    Also, in the time where the bible was revealed, a big bang-like explanation would have been both completely impossible to undestand and way unnecessary. Bible is supposed to explain how to behave and honor god, not how to understand the way world work behind the scene, and adding 500.000 page of physical law explanation seem unwise compared to putting a parable that double as a moral explanation.

     



  • @BC_Programmer said:

    I've always liked how the Arkis like a quarter of the size of the Titanic. I'm not sure you could fit two of every animal on the Titanic either.
    Well, obviously he wouldn't have to take any fish or aquatic mammals, which already removes a very percentage part of all animals. Insects aren't very big either, which is another big slice.

    And finally, he didn't need to take all animals that we know today. Never heard of evolution? Sheez.

     


  • Discourse touched me in a no-no place

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @da Doctah said:
    ObBiblicalNitpick:  Except that he took seven of some of them.

    Which ones?.

    The 'clean' ones, and it was seven pairs. Genesis 7:2.



  • @BC_Programmer said:

    I also think it would be a bit arrogant to think that the Universe was created for us.Seems like a rather big playground.


    [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/0JoiJqf.jpg[/IMG]


  • Considered Harmful

    @spamcourt said:

    +1 Epic



  • @Lorne Kates said:

    @morbiuswilters said:

    the CIA totally killed Elvis, didn't they?
     

    It was self-defense. That asshole wasn't content with just destroying all their mind-controlling televisions. He was going after the innocent psychics at the control nodes. Those were just children, man. Just children!

    It took 26 years for his essence to resurface in Michael Jackson. The meld didn't completely take. He was targetting the Node Children-- just not quite in the right way.They left well enough alone for a decade and a half, hoping for the essence to just fade away. It didn't happen. They had to put him down.

    A far more plausible plan was that the CIA was (as they tended to do) dealing drugs to finance off-book operations, and Elvis was a narc.



  • @PJH said:

    @morbiuswilters said:
    @da Doctah said:
    ObBiblicalNitpick:  Except that he took seven of some of them.

    Which ones?.

    The 'clean' ones, and it was seven pairs. Genesis 7:2.
    Seems to depend upon which translation you're reading.  One of them apparently interprets the instruction as three mated pairs plus one extra for use in sacrifices.



  • @flabdablet said:

    Reptilians can't digest peanut butter and bacon at the same time
    If you need proof of God's existence, you're not going to do much better than that.



  • @OldCrow said:

    I'd even say that we can't know the length of a year a few thousand years ago, as the Earth's orbit could have been changed along the way by meteors, but that kind of drowns in all the other inaccuracies.
     

     Well, if everything is possible, then there's a leeeeettle bit of a problem with explanations.

    And, BTW, if you don't trust anyone - why do you still breathe? I've released 3.12 million specially crafted bacteria 512.6 years ago, and they're all accumulating in your lungs right now.

     

    No, seriously - Are you really trying to establish every commonly accepted fact (like the gold plating) by yourself? Then better start with Lambda Calculus, basic Algebra, Set Theory, and so on. But then you'll be quite busy for quite a long time. Have a lot of fun!



  • @taustin said:

    A far more plausible plan was that the CIA was (as they tended to do) dealing drugs...

    [citation needed] I know of a few unsubstantiated stories about this, but no credible evidence they actually dealt drugs. Although it wouldn't surprise me if it happened once or twice, I doubt it was anything approaching central policy.


  • Considered Harmful

    @morbiuswilters said:

    @joe.edwards said:

    If that had really happened, it would be "God hates fags, purple monkey dishwasher."

    No, the message made it through intact, he's just embarrassed because it was supposed to be a secret.



  • @joe.edwards said:

    @morbiuswilters said:
    @joe.edwards said:

    If that had really happened, it would be "God hates fags, purple monkey dishwasher."

    No, the message made it through intact, he's just embarrassed because it was supposed to be a secret.

    That last frame clearly shows White Jesus, not God.



  • @joe.edwards said:

    No, the message made it through intact, he's just embarrassed because it was supposed to be a secret.

    Well, he should probably remove that queer-draggin' hitch from his pickup, then.



  • @Ben L. said:

    That last frame clearly shows White Jesus, not God.

    Oh, so it was after Jesus The Grey was killed by that Balrog..



  • @morbiuswilters said:

    Mixing up my mythologies here.
    Actually not.



  • @TDWTF123 said:

    @morbiuswilters said:
    Mixing up my mythologies here.
    Actually not.

    try {
        tolkien = new TokenReader(input).readTolkien();
    } catch (MixedMetaphorException ex) {
        throw new ComputerProgrammingLanguageWar(ex.getMessage());
    }

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