Blueberries are awesome. They're sweet, they go on just about anything, and they're healthy enough to be one of the few items concidered "super food". But that doesn't stop people who eat them from being complete abject fucking morons.. or at least I assume they are. Why else would there be the need for this bag to contain the label "photo enlarged":

 LOL - Violet Beauregarde in a bag!

Why would a company that sells blueberries feel the need to use a picture of a single bueberry enlarged to 100x normal size, instead of a group of normal sized blueberries, like every other package of blueberries in existence.  That's TRWTF.

Sadly, it's probably so that the abject fucking morons pedantic dickweeds lawyers don't come after them.

Washington State blueberries are twice that size. We rock.

I used to chuckle when the produce stockers at the grocery store would refer to "2lb strawberries" (by which of course they meant 2lb boxes of strawberries), but damn.

Rule 34 strikes again!

 

Contains one (1) blueberry.

Serves 5 people.

 

Kittemon:

Sadly, it's probably so that the abject fucking morons pedantic dickweeds lawyers don't come after them.

FDA?

fennec:

Kittemon:

Sadly, it's probably so that the abject fucking morons pedantic dickweeds lawyers don't come after them.

FDA?

Silly goose, Canada doesn't have an FDA. How do you think so many Canadian pharmacies sell their wares online?

I assume that it's your tyrannical "truth in advertising" laws meant to destroy your freedom of speech. Unintended consequences are often stupid.

I've seen a few stupid things on packaging.

Another obligatory “not actual size” – just in case anyone expected to open the packet and pull out one crisp the size of the packet (and that such a crisp would withstand the stresses):

Can of Dr Pepper solved all my problems (a pretty good deal considering that it only cost 45 pence – I need to double check that the Devil doesn't now have my soul):

If anyone remembers the Road Runner cartoon where Wile E Coyote ordered dehydrated rocks, apparently dehydrated cars were on offer as well:

Daniel Beardsmore:

 

Allow me to lift the suspense!

No.

No there is not.

Daniel Beardsmore:

Can of Dr Pepper solved all my problems (a pretty good deal considering that it only cost 45 pence – I need to double check that the Devil doesn't now have my soul):

 

Even if he does, it's not your problem any more.

Daniel Beardsmore:

Can of Dr Pepper solved all my problems (a pretty good deal considering that it only cost 45 pence – I need to double check that the Devil doesn't now have my soul):

 

Perhaps IT troubleshooting scripts need a new step 2...

1. Have you tried turning it off and then on again?
2. Have you tried pouring a can of Dr Pepper into it?

 

Daniel Beardsmore:

I've seen a few stupid things on packaging.

You didn't have my favourite one. "New traditional recipe".

My second-favourite is bottled water which, once opened, must be kept refrigerated and consumed within 3 days:

pjt33:

Daniel Beardsmore:

I've seen a few stupid things on packaging.

You didn't have my favourite one. "New traditional recipe".

My second-favourite is bottled water which, once opened, must be kept refrigerated and consumed within 3 days:

Or the fact it even has a best-before date, also visible there.

PJH:

Or the fact it even has a best-before date, also visible there.

 

Plastic bottles tend to deteriorate over time, causing the plastic to "bleed" into the water which is certainly not good for you and at the very least gives the water a disgusting taste. The water won't go bad on its own, but the container certainly will.

The best-before date is there for the wrong reasons, but that doesn't mean that there is no actual best-before date to talk about :)

 

RTapeLoadingError:

Daniel Beardsmore:

Can of Dr Pepper solved all my problems (a pretty good deal considering that it only cost 45 pence – I need to double check that the Devil doesn't now have my soul):

 

Perhaps IT troubleshooting scripts need a new step 2...

1. Have you tried turning it off and then on again?
2. Have you tried pouring a can of Dr Pepper into it?

 

Shouldn't you drink the Dr Pepper instead?

Mo6eB:

Shouldn't you drink the Dr Pepper instead?

 

That solves only three problems:

• lack of caffeine
• lack of sugar 
• thirst

It isn't going to solve ALL your problems if you pour it down your throat, you have to apply it to the problem itself.

 

PJH:

My second-favourite is bottled water which, once opened, must be kept refrigerated and consumed within 3 days:

 

Not really a WTF. Do any reading on waterborne pathogeons, parasites and disease, and you'll want to shove that in the fridge, too. Still water at room temp gets disgusting fairly quickly. Especially if it had previously come into contact with the bacteria-ridden cesspool that is the human mouth.

Lorne Kates:

PJH:

My second-favourite is bottled water which, once opened, must be kept refrigerated and consumed within 3 days:

I didn't say that.

PJH:

Lorne Kates:

PJH:

My second-favourite is bottled water which, once opened, must be kept refrigerated and consumed within 3 days:

I didn't say that.

 

Community Server wasn't designed to be used

erikal:

It isn't going to solve ALL your problems if you pour it down your throat, you have to apply it to the problem itself.

:D

Obviously that was what Jeb T Sausagefreak got wrong – pouring coffee or chamomile tea doesn't flush the power unit, should have used Dr Pepper instead.

Daniel Beardsmore:

pouring coffee or chamomile tea doesn't flush the power unit, should have used Dr Pepper instead.

 

Someone should tell this guy.

 

pjt33:

You didn't have my favourite one. "New traditional recipe".

What if it's a traditional recipe that just happens to be new for that particular product?

morbiuswilters:

pjt33:

You didn't have my favourite one. "New traditional recipe".

What if it's a traditional recipe that just happens to be new for that particular product?

wouldn't that be a new product with a traditional recipe? Like Coke Classic?

tweek:

morbiuswilters:

pjt33:

You didn't have my favourite one. "New traditional recipe".

What if it's a traditional recipe that just happens to be new for that particular product?

wouldn't that be a new product with a traditional recipe? Like Coke Classic?

Let's say you are CEO for a food company and you have a product called Meaty-Os. To save $0.0007 per can, the current recipe contains 40% mechanically-separated hog anus by volume. However, the palate of the average consumer has matured meaning that sales of Meaty-Os are decreasing. What to do? Why not use your Grandma's Old World recipe passed down through the generations? It's only 25% mechanically-separated hog anus by volume.

D-day is approaching. Marketing forwards you the new packaging for the steel can and the new-and-improved plastic squeeze tube variants, now with a congeal-resistant cap. How do you announce to the world your massive reduction in hog anus (and accompanying $0.30 per can and $0.45 per plastic squeeze tube increase in price)? "New traditional recipe" sounds about right.

PJH:

Or the fact it even has a best-before date, also visible there.

I've always liked the oddly specific best-before date. Since we're talking bottled water, the bottle on my desk at the moment has this to say:

Best Before
19.07.13 08:04

Sadly it doesn't specify the timezone, so I'd better give it a few hours leeway to be on the safe side.

dhromed:

Contains one (1) blueberry.Serves 5 people.

Does it glow in the dark, too? The miracles of nuclear power are endless!

 

morbiuswilters:

Let's say you are CEO for a food company and you have a product called Meaty-Os. The current recipe contains 40% mechanically-separated hog anus by volume.

 

What's so special about the hog anus ayway?

 

The nutty aftertaste?

dhromed:

What's so special about the hog anus ayway?

The nutty aftertaste?

 

The friction.

 

Scarlet Manuka:

I've always liked the oddly specific best-before date. Since we're talking bottled water, the bottle on my desk at the moment has this to say:

Best Before
19.07.13 08:04

 

If you're going to keep the same bottle of water around for another seven years, you've got bigger problems.

 

da Doctah:

If you're going to keep the same bottle of water around for another seven years, you've got bigger problems.

I keep bottles of water in my car in case of emergency, they've been in there about 7 years -ish. Yes, I really should buy the cans. But still, bad-tasting emergency supplies are better than the no emergency supplies most people carry.

blakeyrat:

da Doctah:

If you're going to keep the same bottle of water around for another seven years, you've got bigger problems.

I keep bottles of water in my car in case of emergency, they've been in there about 7 years -ish. Yes, I really should buy the cans. But still, bad-tasting emergency supplies are better than the no emergency supplies most people carry.

I never understood this, maybe because I'm almost a shut in that have lived most of his life in a city but what could be the scenario where you need several water bottles in the middle of civilization?

serguey123:

I never understood this, maybe because I'm almost a shut in that have lived most of his life in a city but what could be the scenario where you need several water bottles in the middle of civilization?

Define "middle of civilization." When driving, there are lots of reasons why you could get stranded, and in the US, there are lots of places that are more properly described as "middle of nowhere." Also, we have things called "cars," or "automobiles" that can travel great distances at great speeds (compared to walking, at least).

serguey123:

blakeyrat:

da Doctah:

If you're going to keep the same bottle of water around for another seven years, you've got bigger problems.

I keep bottles of water in my car in case of emergency, they've been in there about 7 years -ish. Yes, I really should buy the cans. But still, bad-tasting emergency supplies are better than the no emergency supplies most people carry.

I never understood this, maybe because I'm almost a shut in that have lived most of his life in a city but what could be the scenario where you need several water bottles in the middle of civilization?

 

For my area, the 9.0 earthquake (or smaller, especially if you're in an area that doesn't get them often) that takes out the water pumping station. But any severe natural disaster, terrorist attack, anything that takes out a major component of the water infrastructure and prevents you from being able to get anywhere for other supplies.  For example, a water main break . . . meh . . . just run down to the store and pick up some bottles and you're good.  But an earthquake that also buckles your roads . . . now you're in trouble.

 

nonpartisan:

serguey123:

blakeyrat:

da Doctah:

If you're going to keep the same bottle of water around for another seven years, you've got bigger problems.

I keep bottles of water in my car in case of emergency, they've been in there about 7 years -ish. Yes, I really should buy the cans. But still, bad-tasting emergency supplies are better than the no emergency supplies most people carry.

I never understood this, maybe because I'm almost a shut in that have lived most of his life in a city but what could be the scenario where you need several water bottles in the middle of civilization?

 For my area, the 9.0 earthquake (or smaller, especially if you're in an area that doesn't get them often) that takes out the water pumping station. But any severe natural disaster, terrorist attack, anything that takes out a major component of the water infrastructure and prevents you from being able to get anywhere for other supplies.  For example, a water main break . . . meh . . . just run down to the store and pick up some bottles and you're good.  But an earthquake that also buckles your roads . . . now you're in trouble.

Car is a horrible place to store water, heat from the car expedites the 'leaking' of chemicals from the plastic bottle into the water.  I left a bottle of water in the car for 3 days (accidently), just for lols and giggles I sipped a bit of it to see what it tasted like, it was nasty. 

In the case of emergency I have water filters (very nice high quality ones) so as long as I have access to water even if it is unclean I can make my own clean water, which is not too hard since there is a nice stream 3 minute walk from where I live, and slightly bigger ponds and rivers within 10 minutes of walking.  So if an earthquake hits that is severe enough to knock out water and not kill me clean water won’t be a problem.

boomzilla:

serguey123:

I never understood this, maybe because I'm almost a shut in that have lived most of his life in a city but what could be the scenario where you need several water bottles in the middle of civilization?

Define "middle of civilization." When driving, there are lots of reasons why you could get stranded, and in the US, there are lots of places that are more properly described as "middle of nowhere." Also, we have things called "cars," or "automobiles" that can travel great distances at great speeds (compared to walking, at least).

If you are planning to go some place deserted and waterless then I guess it makes sense, I'm a city person and for the most part I have no need to be out in the wild.  I'm just curious.

nonpartisan:

[For my area, the 9.0 earthquake (or smaller, especially if you're in an area that doesn't get them often) that takes out the water pumping station.

So you don't have tap water and? Are they not bodies of water near by?

nonpartisan:

But any severe natural disaster, terrorist attack, anything that takes out a major component of the water infrastructure and prevents you from being able to get anywhere for other supplies. 

Do you know the odds of this happening in most areas are slim to none yes?  Look, for the most part a lot the natural disaster are foreseable as well as the non natural ones.  I'm not saying you shouldn't prepare for the worst but it seems sometimes that some people worry to the point of paranoia.

Anketam:

so as long as I have access to water even if it is unclean I can make my own clean water

Sure, you only need a plastic bag and/or chlorine tablets and you are good to go, but even without you should be fine for a while unless the water is heavily poluted (which is almost never).

serguey123:

nonpartisan:

[For my area, the 9.0 earthquake (or smaller, especially if you're in an area that doesn't get them often) that takes out the water pumping station.

So you don't have tap water and? Are they not bodies of water near by?

The tap water relies on the water pumping station. Which relies on power. Also, in cases of severe storms (e.g., tropical, hurricanes) there can be problems at treatment plants. In cases like this, while there may not be actual contamination, it's generally wise to boil your water before using. Obviously, this can be more difficult if you rely on electricity to do this, making a store of potable water that much more valuable. Of course, storms are a lot easier to predict than earthquakes.

serguey123:

it seems sometimes that some people worry to the point of paranoia.

Who in this thread does that apply to?

serguey123:

nonpartisan:

[For my area, the 9.0 earthquake (or smaller, especially if you're in an area that doesn't get them often) that takes out the water pumping station.

So you don't have tap water and? Are they not bodies of water near by?

 

We have a rather decent size creek nearby, but a major river or lake?  Not any that I could assure myself would be accessible in the event the road infrastructure took a major hit.

serguey123:

Do you know the odds of this happening in most areas are slim to none yes?  Look, for the most part a lot the natural disaster are foreseable as well as the non natural ones.  I'm not saying you shouldn't prepare for the worst but it seems sometimes that some people worry to the point of paranoia.

I'm not someone who has a huge stock of extra emergency food at home.  They say to be prepared for 72 hours before someone can get to you.  I expect that if the worst were to happen, we'd work on frozen food first (frozen vegetables, for example), then move on to other items -- cereals, breads, etc.  We'll finish off the milk.  We have some canned goods.  And if we're away from home when the big one hits, well, we wouldn't have that large stock of food with us anyway, so it really doesn't matter.

And that's all presuming we survive.  I don't know if I'd expect to survive the major 9.0 earthquake they're forecasting for us.

 

 

Anketam:

Car is a horrible place to store water, heat from the car expedites the 'leaking' of chemicals from the plastic bottle into the water.  I left a bottle of water in the car for 3 days (accidently), just for lols and giggles I sipped a bit of it to see what it tasted like, it was nasty. 

In the case of emergency I have water filters (very nice high quality ones) so as long as I have access to water even if it is unclean I can make my own clean water, which is not too hard since there is a nice stream 3 minute walk from where I live, and slightly bigger ponds and rivers within 10 minutes of walking.  So if an earthquake hits that is severe enough to knock out water and not kill me clean water won’t be a problem.

 

Ewww . . . I hate storing water in my car.  "Nasty" is only a slight hint at what it takes like.  I used to use a water filter regularly, but really our water quality is quite good, so I stopped using it.  I like your idea of having one around in the event of an emergency though.

 

boomzilla:

serguey123:

nonpartisan:

[For my area, the 9.0 earthquake (or smaller, especially if you're in an area that doesn't get them often) that takes out the water pumping station.

So you don't have tap water and? Are they not bodies of water near by?

The tap water relies on the water pumping station. Which relies on power. Also, in cases of severe storms (e.g., tropical, hurricanes) there can be problems at treatment plants. In cases like this, while there may not be actual contamination, it's generally wise to boil your water before using. Obviously, this can be more difficult if you rely on electricity to do this, making a store of potable water that much more valuable. Of course, storms are a lot easier to predict than earthquakes.

Yes, I know, that is why I asked if there was a body of water nearby, if there was, which is normally the case for human settlements then you can use it instead of tap water.  In my case my house has a private water reservoir because water supplies in third world contries is unstable sometimes (at least once a week) but I don't go everywhere with several water bottles in tow just because.  I guess it takes a peculiar frame of mind.  If you don't have electricity you can purify water without, as I pointed out but you can also use a flammable material to heat it to a boiling point.

Sutherland:

Who in this thread does that apply to?

I just find the idea of emergency water bottles in your car odd but I have seen a lot of apocalipse survival nutjobs in the internet, I don't recall saying they were in this thread (so far I haven't spotted one).  As I said my main drive is curiosity, maybe it is a good idea to stick emergency supplies in disaster prone areas but why would somebody would continue to live there is beyond me.

serguey123:

Yes, I know, that is why I asked if there was a body of water nearby, if there was, which is normally the case for human settlements then you can use it instead of tap water.  In my case my house has a private water reservoir because water supplies in third world contries is unstable sometimes (at least once a week) but I don't go everywhere with several water bottles in tow just because.  I guess it takes a peculiar frame of mind.  If you don't have electricity you can purify water without, as I pointed out but you can also use a flammable material to heat it to a boiling point.

I LOL'd at this at the differences between your apparent reality and here in civilization. You claim to be a city guy. In fact, in a city in the US, you're less likely to have a natural / backup source of water (at least, one that you'd consider for drinking) or something combustible to boil your water. It's usually in earthquake prone areas that you're advised to keep something on hand. Of course, most people ignore this most of the time, and it's generally not a problem.

I live in a major suburban area. There are some small pond-like lakes in the area, but none that I'm aware of are less than a few miles away. In good conditions, I could certainly walk there, though I wouldn't want to have to carry gallons of water back. And in bad conditions, e.g., snow, that could be extremely difficult / unsafe.

serguey123:

I just find the idea of emergency water bottles in your car odd but I have seen a lot of apocalipse survival nutjobs in the internet, I don't recall saying they were in this thread (so far I haven't spotted one).  As I said my main drive is curiosity, maybe it is a good idea to stick emergency supplies in disaster prone areas but why would somebody would continue to live there is beyond me.

I have food and water in my car, but mainly for the keeping the kids quiet and happy. It has a nice side effect of being on hand if I'm in my car somewhere in a disaster. If a large storm is approaching, I have water bladders for camping that I'll fill up to ensure having water on hand just in case. I also have a propane grill and a camping stove, so I'm not completely dependent on electricity (no natural gas in my neighborhood). We're also lucky in that our power lines are under ground, so they're not at the mercy of falling trees.

Last year, there was a storm that hit a little earlier and more severely than was forcast. Then the Feds let everyone go at the same time. The combination of icy / snowy roads plus worse than normal traffic levels caused some people to be stranded on roads and bridges for up to 13 hours. That's not generally a life threatening amount of time to be without food or water, but not a fun time. I was really glad that day that I mostly work from home.

nonpartisan:

I don't know if I'd expect to survive the major 9.0 earthquake they're forecasting for us.

It would range from hard to impossible, depending on where you were at the time of the event.  Maybe you should consider relocating.

serguey123:

I never understood this, maybe because I'm almost a shut in that have lived most of his life in a city but what could be the scenario where you need several water bottles in the middle of civilization?

I live in Western Washington. At literally any moment the ground could shake hard enough to collapse all our buildings. There's also Mt. Rainier, but we're pretty good at predicting volcanoes now so I'd probably have a few days warning on that one.

Anketam:

Car is a horrible place to store water, heat from the car expedites the 'leaking' of chemicals from the plastic bottle into the water.

Yeah, this is going to be shocking but: I put the water in the trunk, not the engine compartment.

Or maybe you mean the car gets hot because it's parked in 90 degree weather? In that case: 1) I own a garage, and 2) again, I live in Western Washington, it doesn't get that hot.

But even all that aside, I already fucking admitted I should get the metal water cans so what the fuck is wrong with you people I hate you all! I already conceded your point, you don't need to keep "convincing" me to concede that point!

Anketam:

So if an earthquake hits that is severe enough to knock out water and not kill me clean water won’t be a problem.

What makes you assume that stream water will continue to be clean after an earthquake? Or... that the stream won't be diverted altogether?

serguey123:

I'm not saying you shouldn't prepare for the worst but it seems sometimes that some people worry to the point of paranoia.

Keeping a 12-pack of water bottles in my car in case of emergency is the point of paranoia for you? Geez, wait until you find out I have a fire extinguisher too. Your head will explode.

serguey123:

nonpartisan:

I don't know if I'd expect to survive the major 9.0 earthquake they're forecasting for us.

It would range from hard to impossible, depending on where you were at the time of the event.  Maybe you should consider relocating.

 

Considered.  Rejected.

The Portland, Oregon, area is a good place to be.  Very little extreme weather -- no hurricanes, no major tornadoes (although it seems like I'm hearing about smaller tornadoes more often around here), generally no significant snowstorms (significant to me being more than about half a foot -- although get a couple of inches around here and it paralyzes the city).  But I keep getting told about a 1/3rd chance of a 9.0+ earthquake in the next 50 years.  Considering that tornadoes in the midwest are a given, hurricanes on the east coast are a given, hot weather in the south is a given . . . I'll take my chances that I'm going to get hit with a 9.0 earthquake in my lifetime.