The Daily WTF: Curious Perversions in Information Technology
Welcome to TDWTF Forums Sign in | Join | Help
in Search

Welcome to DBA chaos.

Last post 03-31-2009 5:19 AM by wesley. 5 replies.
Page 1 of 1 (6 items)
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  • 03-13-2009 10:10 AM

    Welcome to DBA chaos.

    This is a query that I had submitted to me to retreive some data from one of my tables. This user said to me can you please run this query and send me the results. Here is the query he sent me:

    Select my data from the place where my data is stored where data = entered by user.

    Here is the query the user actually wanted me to run when I was finally able to get though laughing:

    Select * from publishers where writtenby = 'enduser';

    Now what made me laugh was this select statement came from a man that said he had spent 10 years as a DBA.

  • 03-16-2009 9:28 AM In reply to

    • jwenting
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 12-28-2005
    • the Netherlands
    • Posts 150

    Re: Welcome to DBA chaos.

    sadly (or is it?) the SQL skills of most DBAs are negligable. They know how to run tools to kick off backups and kill jobs, but that's about it unless they're given step by step instructions (and there'd better be no typos anywhere).

  • 03-16-2009 2:24 PM In reply to

    • Wooly
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 03-16-2009
    • United Kingdom
    • Posts 11

    Re: Welcome to DBA chaos.

     HAHA I like the fact that you state most DBA's are backup monkeys or session kill monkeys (scripts required of course!)

     Sounds like you were jilted at the alter by a very attractive female DBA.... You've got to let her go.... she isn't worth it...Filthy DBA bitch...

     Were these Roles Royce Jet4 Engine DBA's by any chance?

     I think you need to relax with a nice large can of ice cold STFU!

  • 03-19-2009 5:15 AM In reply to

    • jwenting
    • Top 500 Contributor
    • Joined on 12-28-2005
    • the Netherlands
    • Posts 150

    Re: Welcome to DBA chaos.

    there are female DBA?

    If there are, I've never met any that admitted to being one.

    No, let's just say I have a lot of experience dealing with DBAs and all but 2 of them were indeed session killing backup monkeys.

  • 03-25-2009 1:58 AM In reply to

    • Weng
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on 03-15-2008
    • Posts 506

    Re: Welcome to DBA chaos.

     That's not fair to DBA's. A lot of them know how to create views, relationships and indexes using the GUI tools, too.

  • 03-31-2009 5:19 AM In reply to

    • wesley
    • Not Ranked
    • Joined on 03-31-2009
    • Posts 2

    Re: Welcome to DBA chaos.

    OK, so whats wrong with the statement then?

Page 1 of 1 (6 items)
Powered by Community Server (Non-Commercial Edition), by Telligent Systems