I'm on this new job for about three months. It's a .Net gig, mainly VB.Net (although I'm a engineering student with C++ background), but we usually write in whatever we wish, so, there's people writing in VB, others in C#, and the odd guy writing Access applications. I stick to VB.NET because that's what my boss asked for when I was hired.

It's okay, and quite fun at some times, but I've noticed that it's getting too close to Dilbert. I have lots of co-workers working on simple web pages for four months, while I get one week to learn SharePoint and redesign the new webpage (when I was supposed to be CODING), two days to learn the undocumented API of the management tool and make an online file transfer thing, finish other people's projects (meaning - write all the code based on a Visio document) on two days and present it to the upper management...

One of them could provide months of stories to this site. First, he doesn't know how to adjust his chair. Yep. He's supposed to code all day and doesn't even know why his chair is tilted towards him. We waited our boss to tell that to him because his too creepy. He also screwed up the production Web Server and spent four days trying to fix it. I would understand if we were talking about Linux, but it is IIS. He had 3 websites running on port 80, so, every time he clicked to start one of them, it would automagically stop the other two. So I came in and fixed the thing in about thirty seconds. Then he proceeded with whatever he was doing - he just said "I'm going to make a new folder for my project" and clicked on "New Website" again. I told him "You know you're not creating a new "folder", right? Use the Windows Explorer instead of the IIS Console.". Then he started screaming and telling how much I make people look stupid with all my cleverness, and how arrogant I was to think he didn't knew what he was doing... I just stopped talking and then he just started apologizing because he was working four days on fixing the webserver and stuff...

Two months later he wasn't finished yet. He wanted to input data on a ListBox and I told him to use the javascript "prompt" function, since he was taking waay too long. Then he decided my approach wasn't optimal and proceeded making a PopUp window that mirrored the look of the JavaScript one. He had all sorts of calls to the SQL server, a table that was used as temporary, and absolutely no concurrency guarantees. Two days later he wanted me to tell him how to hide "the X button" from Internet Explorer so "users don't close the window"......

Oh, and he was calling ASP.NET server functions using client javascript. For about a month he believed it worked, but the problem was with the database. Then I introduced him to the Internet Explorer status bar...

Later on, he also wanted me to help them with his homework. It was "mixed C/C++ stuff for converting integers into binaries and put the zeros/ones into strings". It had about 1000 lines of code, one class and used assembly calls and "CPU branching" (as he told me) to get each binary digit. Way too cool for him.

Fun thing is that there are lots of nice suprises. One of the my best friends here around here is a newbie and this is his first job on programming, but he makes great code... he keeps saying he doesn't know much, but he's great, actually.

 This company sounds like a potpourri of talent and uselessness. Is your boss' strategy to simply hire bodies to write "teh codez"? Cause it sounds like the only thing they use as an interview test is a sign saying "you must be this tall to work here".

Oh, and I loved this:

glassx:

Two days later he wanted me to tell him how to hide "the X button" from Internet Explorer so "users don't close the window"

Tell him to write his own browser. If Google can do it, why can't he?

 

"Unskilled and Unaware of It " is a psychological study of the the inverse correlation between competence and boastfulness. Very interesting read. http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp7761121.pdf

*facepalm* *headdesk*  *facepalm* *headdesk*  *facepalm* *headdesk*  *facepalm* *headdesk* 

You people are gonna give me a concussion and/or a broken nose if you keep having coworkers this stupid and cocky.

DOA:

Tell him to write his own browser. If zzo38 can do it, why can't he?

FTFY

DOA:

 This company sounds like a potpourri of talent and uselessness. Is your boss' strategy to simply hire bodies to write "teh codez"? Cause it sounds like the only thing they use as an interview test is a sign saying "you must be this tall to work here".

This sounds so familiar...

belgariontheking:

*facepalm* *headdesk*  *facepalm* *headdesk*  *facepalm* *headdesk*  *facepalm* *headdesk* 

You people are gonna give me a concussion and/or a broken nose if you keep having coworkers this stupid and cocky.

Then get ready for this: I was talking to another co-worker about a project, went to the bathroom and he was sleeping on his desk. Then I waited about ten minutes until he woke up and started talking to him about the project. And in the middle of the conversation... he falls asleep again.

This is seriously getting out of control, I'll browse the interwebs furiously until they notice I should be working, but I can't because people other are fucking sleeping in the office...

Scott Adams has captured modern office life with a very keen eye.  Did you know people who don't work in IT still laugh at Dilbert?  "Dilbert moments" occur anywhere, anytime.  The corollary is that they occur everywhere.  Even the best job will have a few.

3 months at your first job just means that you haven't had enough time to make your own screwups yet.  When you've spent a week scouring the documentation looking for the command to "hide the X button" and some smartypants tells you that there are several good reasons why that button can never, ever be hidden, then you can tolerate similar screwups in others.

glassx:

Fun thing is that there are lots of nice suprises. One of the my best friends here around here is a newbie and this is his first job on programming, but he makes great code... he keeps saying he doesn't know much, but he's great, actually.

Every good programmer I know will freely admit that they are know NOTHING. The body of knowledge surrounding the craft is larger than any one person could ever consume in a lifetime.

 Nurture this young soul - ensure he is very aware that his lack of knowledge is not a shortcoming but a universal fact. Ensure that he holds your cow-orkers in as much contempt as you do.

 NEVER. LET. THEM. TEACH. HIM. ANYTHING. Brain damage is nigh impossible to cure.

glassx:

And in the middle of the conversation... he falls asleep again.

Was this a one-off or could he be narcoleptic?

belgariontheking:

DOA:

Tell him to write his own browser. If zzo38 can do it, why can't he?

FTFY

 

If you say write his name three times, he will post to this thread

zzo38

bjolling:

belgariontheking:

DOA:

Tell him to write his own browser. If zzo38 can do it, why can't he?

FTFY

 

If you say write his name three times, he will post to this thread

zzo38

zzo-- AH!  I CAN'T DO IT!

Qwerty:

3 months at your first job...

But this is not my first programming job, not even first .Net job. I was brought in because of experience, actually.

Weng:

Every good programmer I know will freely admit that they are know NOTHING. The body of knowledge surrounding the craft is larger than any one person could ever consume in a lifetime.

 Nurture this young soul - ensure he is very aware that his lack of knowledge is not a shortcoming but a universal fact. Ensure that he holds your cow-orkers in as much contempt as you do.

 NEVER. LET. THEM. TEACH. HIM. ANYTHING. Brain damage is nigh impossible to cure.

Amen to that. He's getting good enough to avoid coding WTFs, I even introduced him to this website :D

Zagyg:

glassx:

And in the middle of the conversation... he falls asleep again.

Was this a one-off or could he be narcoleptic?

] I seriously hope he was just tired...

glassx:

And in the middle of the conversation... he falls asleep again.

That seems like a great time to try to get him fired.  Send some sort of ridiculous hate mail from his machine to your boss or bring up a browser with porn and leave or kill a hobo with a knife and then place the knife in his hand.

Digitalbath:

Filed under: Are hobo jokes still funny? I hope so.

What an absurd question, you ridiculous man!  How could hobo jokes ever stop being funny?