New from Canon: the first printer with a 128MB tray capacity!

http://www.canon-europe.com/For_Work/Products/Office_Print_Copy_Solutions/Digital_IR_Series/iR2800/index.asp?specs=1 

I like:

Power Supply: Zoom: 25%-80% in 1% increments

It seems to be completely scrambled.
 

Hey, I hope it prints the documents fast, otherwise it will "forget" them before it's finished

Image Server Memory: Approx. 5.8 seconds

valerion:

Its got 5.8 seconds of memory! That's about the same as my goldfish!

That's what I wanted to say too! ;(

I dig the optional paper sizes and the token ring hard drive. :D

I can see the ads now

"With a height of 256 tones and a power consumption of 1-999, this isn't your average home printer. Add the ability to print on paper of up to 80Kg, and indeed the optional nature of feeding paper in the first place and you can see this is the printer for you. Other features include 5.1GB of stored staple positions for when you have to be nanometer perfect and a 5.8 second memory span for when security is your highest priority."

 

GettinSadda:

Hey, I hope it prints the documents fast, otherwise it will "forget" them before it's finished

Image Server Memory: Approx. 5.8 seconds

 

All expensive printers forget documents before they finish. It's part of the great conspiracy to sell toner and keep sysadmins ragingly psychotic.
 

"Weight: Standard"

Now we don't see much non-standard weights, at least not in printers.

In honor of it's 5.8 second memory, I'm gonna call it "Dori".

Oh, look, it's got a 5.8 second memory too!

Hey, I've seen a printer.  It went by not too long ago. It went... this way. It went this way.

Paper sizes optional... I'm a bit worried about the power consumption though. 

Kemp:

I can see the ads now

"With a height of 256 tones and a power consumption of 1-999, this isn't your average home printer. Add the ability to print on paper of up to 80Kg, and indeed the optional nature of feeding paper in the first place and you can see this is the printer for you. Other features include 5.1GB of stored staple positions for when you have to be nanometer perfect and a 5.8 second memory span for when security is your highest priority."
 

that reminds me of this page: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Diamond

Hardest Metal Known the Man

Due to extensive research done by the Fourchon University of Science, diamond has been confirmed as the the hardest metal known the man. The research is as follows.

Pocket-protected scientists built a wall of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed.

They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an out into the wall, and the wall came out fine.

They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors.

They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours.

They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted the earth's orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards midwestern Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour.

They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused two wayward airplanes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with two buildings in downtown New York.

They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive.

Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall traveling at miles, and the result proved without a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known the man.

AI0867:

Hardest Metal Known the Man

Due to extensive research done by the Fourchon University of Science, diamond has been confirmed as the the hardest metal known the man. The research is as follows.

Pocket-protected scientists built a wall of iron and crashed a diamond car into it at 400 miles per hour, and the car was unharmed.

They then built a wall out of diamond and crashed a car made of iron moving at 400 miles an out into the wall, and the wall came out fine.

They then crashed a diamond car made of 400 miles per hour into a wall, and there were no survivors.

They crashed 400 miles per hour into a diamond traveling at iron car. Western New York was powerless for hours.

They rammed a wall of metal into a 400 mile per hour made of diamond, and the resulting explosion shifted the earth's orbit 400 million miles away from the sun, saving the earth from a meteor the size of a small Washington suburb that was hurtling towards midwestern Prussia at 400 billion miles per hour.

They shot a diamond made of iron at a car moving at 400 walls per hour, and as a result caused two wayward airplanes to lose track of their bearings, and make a fatal crash with two buildings in downtown New York.

They spun 400 miles at diamond into iron per wall. The results were inconclusive.

Finally, they placed 400 diamonds per hour in front of a car made of wall traveling at miles, and the result proved without a doubt that diamonds were the hardest metal of all time, if not just the hardest metal known the man.

lolz :D 

5.1GB of stored staple positions, for when you want your staples just so.

 Optional memory,  that's like... umm... oh, optional memory, that's like...

and It'll hold 128MB of paper, that's way more than the printer I've got now.

I think I'll buy one, so long as it's compatible with my WTI*.

*Wooden Table Interface

 

Control_Alt_Kaboom:

5.1GB of stored staple positions, for when you want your staples just so.

Yeah, but you have to use their canon custom staples, and we all know how well substituting for proprietary staples works.

LMAO. This is one of the funniest things I've ever seen here. I thought it was just a single mistake, but it started to dawn on me that nothing made any sense at all ...

Maybe the 5.8 seconds is referring to the access time of the printer's memory ... I can just imagine it with tape spools for memory. Or budget drum memory that's really, really slow.